I have no fashion sense. None. I also have no beauty sense. I lack what people would refer to as “girly-ness.” I wear barely any makeup. I don’t do my hair. I don’t know how to apply liquid eyeliner. Don’t get me wrong. I get by. I can do the basics. Like jeans and a sweater. But to put an outfit together? That is what I would refer to as hell.

You see when I was growing up my mother wasn’t exactly Victoria Beckam. She wasn’t even Patricia Heaton and her sweater sets. She taught me nothing about being a “lady.” No makeup tips. No hair tips. Nothin’. I think some of it had to do with being brought up strict in a Hispanic household. I wasn’t allowed to wear makeup or even polish my nails until I was 16 (by that time my friends were experts), God forbid I look like a 15 year old hussy! But I can’t blame them forever.

I’m 28 now and still can barely get myself together. My sweet, wonderful and fashionable hubby tells me I’m free to spend money on beautification. But my aversion to fashion having been ingrained since childhood in combination with my horrifying anxiety when it comes to dealing with the people that can help me- hairdressers, makeup artists, department store workers- makes me stay in this state of suspended adolescence. I can’t even wear pointy shoes! I feel like I’m playing dress-up if I do. Obviously, it’s a mental block.

The good news is that I’m getting help! My network of girlfriends both beauty experts and Style Queens to help me get on my way to girly glory. They will make my skin glow, my hair shiny, and my shoes match my top! I’m excited. Being a girl sounds like fun!