So a hot little lesbian pal of mine — let’s call her Angelica — tells me she can have dozens and dozens and dozens of orgasms in the span of just a couple of days when she gets down to the sexing with someone she’s hot for. A number of other Sapphic hotties chimed in to say such hyper-orgasmic, multi-climaxing sex extravaganzas are common among The Lesbians.
I am astounded. If this is true, I would like to know why The Lesbians are not sharing this knowledge and expertise with The Straight Men. Is it because they’d effectively be cock-blocking themselves by teaching The Staight Men the tricks of the trade?
We here at ButtercupPunch would like more details and an explanation, particularly The Straight Women among us.
July 7, 2008 at 5:06 pm
I am green-eyed with envy, please spill the secrets!
July 7, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Women don’t need any turn around time. We can do it for hours at a time, naturally multiples will occur. Sometimes one after the other after the other after the other.
And, of course, boys are gross and stupid.
July 7, 2008 at 5:25 pm
@BAngieB: Ahem. There’s a book in your future if you just reach out for it.
Here’s one of my favorites:
http://books.google.com/books?id=ybwGIDGlpn4C&dq=Sex+Tips+for+Straight+Women+From+a+Gay+Man&pg=PP1&ots=HxnqObJyLu&sig=Efp4j0o9ec2KSz9Nb7rDte3fIGE&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=1&ct=result#PPP1,M1
July 7, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Dudes aren’t patient or selfless enough to be able to help you ladies out with endless multiple orgasms. Half of ‘em probably couldn’t find your gspot (hint, it’s not on Google) if they tried.
I propose a monthly feature where myself and the other Sapphic ladies (you know who you are, don’t make me call you out) can take your questions and answer them.
July 7, 2008 at 8:08 pm
That’s a great idea, Bowling!
July 7, 2008 at 8:31 pm
@Bowling: That sounds like an awesome feature.
I currently have a boy who is new to cunninglingus. He is, however, eager to learn. I have the potential to shape him into something awesome, but honestly, I’ve got no idea where to start.
July 7, 2008 at 8:37 pm
This is going to get vulgar, isn’t it? Excellent! I’m so thrilled that my dirty talkin’ and orgasms are fodder for discussion, cause even though I’m a prude, I do love the sexin’.
July 7, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Cate: I have been there. Jesus, it’s awkward. You have to be so graphic. It takes them so lllloonnnnnngggg to figure it out. So I tell them to watch some good lesbian porn and see how the lezzies do it. Sometimes you might have to find it for them. YouPorn is good for these purposes.
July 7, 2008 at 8:45 pm
BAngie: “I do love the sexin’!” I can hear you saying that in your syrupy Southern accent and I am howling.
July 7, 2008 at 8:47 pm
@Trixie: Hmm, I will definitely take the porn into consideration.
On the plus side, I didn’t know he was new to it until he told me. There’s a good foundation to build on, I think.
July 7, 2008 at 8:47 pm
oh I cannot wait for this post.
Trix, speaking as the official Chimera of HLOL and one of the Bisexual Buttercups, I can tell you this - even if The Lesbians taught Teh Menz allllll about the little man in the boat there is still nothing quite like gettin’ down with a woman.
July 7, 2008 at 8:49 pm
Cate: This is good for two major reasons.
1. You can build him, like the Six Million Dollar Man, specifically to your standards.
2. He will be so enthralled by the poon that you will be in the driver’s seat. The one guy who was pretty much a virgin to it, and whom I had to teach, was utterly and completely beholden to me. He worshipped at the altar of my petunia.
July 7, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Kadinsky: Don’t tease me that way. Because I am fairly certain I could receive, but sadly I don’t think I could give.
July 7, 2008 at 8:52 pm
As the Oral Queen of HLOL, I concur with Kadinsky…and grant her one of the few bisexual memberships.
Trixie/Cate: REAL lesbian porn is the key here, not “lesbian” porn made for men. I’mma save the rest of my secrets.
July 7, 2008 at 8:52 pm
@cate: DO NOT point him towards ‘mainstream lezzie porn’, whatever you do. most girl/girl porn is made for male viewing and it fucking sucks so I suggest you preview it yourself first. if there is ANY SPITTING that should be an automatic rejection.
*This PSA has been brought to you by Buttercups for Better Lezzie Porn.
July 7, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Trix - sometimes that’s okay, depends on the situation.
July 7, 2008 at 8:56 pm
Kadinsky: As you know, that spitting thing freaks me out. My IYL and I were watching one of those “Real Sex” episodes on HBO, and she was all “What’s with the damn spitting…that girl looks like a camel!”
I was so proud.
July 7, 2008 at 8:56 pm
@Trixie: “He worshipped at the altar of my petunia.” Beautiful. I have no idea how I’ll work this phrase into a conversation, but dammit, I’m going to have to try.
@BAngieB, kadinsky: Only real lesbians. Gotcha.
July 7, 2008 at 8:57 pm
BAng, you are teaching her well.
I like to call it “molding and shaping”.
July 7, 2008 at 8:58 pm
“that girl looks like a camel!”
fucking brilliant.
July 7, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Did someone mention lesbian sex?
Ladies…arch your backs, start your engines, and flush your schedules down the toilet, because we’re going to be in the bed (on the floor, against the wall, over the sink and in your ladyspace) for a good, long while.
July 7, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Bowling: Your avatar is winking at me, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence.
July 7, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Well, I’m watching you on AbFab RIGHT NOW. The one where Patsy gets a facelift.
Coincidence? I THINK NOT.
July 7, 2008 at 9:12 pm
@Trix: you mean her winking pink triangle avatar?? you don’t say ;P
July 7, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Kadinsky, just so you know, I mastered making my pink triangle avatar wink ages ago. It’s all in the firmness of the - oh, nevermind.
July 7, 2008 at 9:23 pm
i wanna be a goldstar when i grow up.
so far, so good.
@ineffable: seriously, this chick had a neck camel thing going. she reeled back and shot her neck forward. scared my shit.
and it was even more weird because she was giving her chicky a camel toe with her panties, while camel spitting, instead of taking the shit off in the first place. and yo, camel themes aren’t sexy. i aspire to be a tiger, not a camel.
@bangieb: one after the other, after the other, after the other? s’good, right?
July 7, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Dear Angie’s Young Lover…
I grew up to be a Goldstar. It’s as good as you think it is. :)
July 7, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I am a Goldstar Hetero and that is shameful. It doesn’t carry nearly the cache of being a Goldstar Lesbian.
July 7, 2008 at 9:32 pm
@bowling: i have no intention of turning this car around :)
July 7, 2008 at 9:35 pm
QWhat I don’t get about oral sex in porn is wwhen the dude slaps a girls clit. It just sseems like that would hurt.
While not a lesbian and haven’t experimented with more than a good make out session, I can kind of see how girl on girl action would lead to more orgasims. I have never been more turned on that when I am kissing a girl, and I think that intimacy, closeness and a level of comfort found among the ladies makes orgasims happen …
I don’t know. just me ranting. and wanting some girly loving
July 7, 2008 at 9:39 pm
@shesafire: comfort, comfort, hell yes, comfort.
July 7, 2008 at 9:43 pm
@shesafire/duetoprivacy: I will be sure that one of us addresses that question.
@angiesyounglover: Stop flirting with me.
July 7, 2008 at 9:52 pm
@shesafire/duetoprivacy
Not to mention all of that soft skin. :)
July 7, 2008 at 9:56 pm
…when the dude slaps a girls clit…
Yes. Somebody. Please. Tell the dudes that this is about as sexy as spitting and, uh, you do that to me, and you might get kicked in the face on reflex. I am not responsible for involuntary responses to bad bedroom behavior…especially those learned through porn. Ick.
(Where in the sam-hell do the dudes come up with this stuff? Your ween is not a baseball bat. Do not be swinging it at the flowerbed.)
July 7, 2008 at 10:04 pm
@bangieb: you never mean stop when you say stop.
July 7, 2008 at 10:08 pm
Ha! Sounds like a lot of you have had some really bad hetero-sex. For shame… ;-)
July 7, 2008 at 10:15 pm
Paisley … I am howling.
CeeJee … do tell. It might be time for me to take a stroll away from my usual type … staight-laced white boys.
July 7, 2008 at 10:35 pm
I’m in Trixie’s camp, but…
I want to work on cars with Bowling. And brush her hair.
I want to shack up with Angie and her pups. And, uh, eat her casserole.
Don’t judge me!
July 7, 2008 at 10:38 pm
@ceejee: (Hi babes!)
Even those of us that have fabulous straight sex lives…can’t do the 48 orgasms in day thing! I think I would literally DIE.
July 7, 2008 at 10:43 pm
@sinisterrouge: But it would be such a great way to die! Though perhaps a bit traumatizing for any other involved parties.
July 7, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Sinny, it was more like 48 in three days/four days. And you wouldn’t die. Trust.
July 7, 2008 at 11:52 pm
Buttercups et al…this sounds wonderful!! There are 3 things worth pursing in life, as far as I’m concerned…
1. Good sex
2. Good whiskey
3. And good company
So here’s a toast of #2 towards #1 & #3!
July 8, 2008 at 12:00 am
*Ahem*
I’ve had 33 in one day, give or take a few on understandable miscount.
I’m a Goldstar Hetero, so yes, it can be done.
July 8, 2008 at 12:00 am
Ok, so would/could you guys pretty please give me some titles to some good/real/authentic lesbian porn? Or at least a link or two where I can find some and not have to sift the wheat from the chaff?
My husband is better than most, but I can’t help but think that *true* lesbian porn might help him step up his game a notch or two. Plus, I get off on pretty much any kind of porn, as long as it’s *good*, so I’m always down with new sources!
July 8, 2008 at 12:07 am
THIRTY-THREE IN ONE DAY?????
How did you break up with this person?
JustT: I too would welcome advice on what site provides this type of thing. You know, just in case I want to point someone to it.
July 8, 2008 at 12:23 am
I’m always in pursuit of the 3 good things in life: good sex, good whiskey, and good company! BCP is such a wonderful thing… :)
July 8, 2008 at 12:34 am
@Trixie: We wimminz are built for multiple orgasms. This is why it is so tragic that we are saddled with all of this redick socialized nonsense about not being sexual beings; fact is, we are probably MORE sexual than our male counterparts.
They think because they can only have one per hour that we must be the same way–NOPE!
Oh, and I dumped his sorry sack ’cause his drama outside the bedroom just wasn’t worth it.
July 8, 2008 at 12:35 am
It also helps to be ovulating like a fertile Myrtle when you go for that “personal best” in multiple orgasms.
July 8, 2008 at 12:39 am
I agree Paisley, but I must admit most men couln’t find a G-spot with a GPS! Interesting tip on the ovulation connection, must remember that one.
July 8, 2008 at 12:54 am
@Trixie: your shining example of altruism shames me for my pursuit of self-gratification. Of *course* I should have been asking for the good of others!
July 8, 2008 at 1:04 am
Lesbian or lesbian-esque porn recs:
1. Crash Pad. If you want to go there, go there, yo. Read the description on the Babeland website - you’ll see it’s difficult to get more authentic than that. I don’t want to name drop, but…
[http://store.babeland.com/videos-dvds-all/the-crash-pad-dvd]
2. Sugar High, Glitter City. This was years ago, but it might be beneficial. The “plot” is a little cheesy, but I feel like it had some good, authentic fucking. Plus, it’s fun!
[http://store.babeland.com/videos-dvds-lgbt/sugar-high-glitter-city-dvd]
3. Justine, in Hard Edge (gentle, pretty) OR Art School Sluts (rough, dirty, pretty).
Everyone knows that I am a die-hard fan of Andrew Blake and could exist on his porn alone for ever and ever, amen. This is not news.
The Eon McKai tip, on the other hand, might come as a bit unexpected, but there is an all-lesbian orgy train scene of pussy-eating FABULOUSNESS that I cannot deny anyone even remotely interested. It’s fucking amazing. Seriously.
[http://www.andrewblake.com/]
[http://www.eonmckai.com/]
I hope that, um, gets you off to a good start!
(I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist. Good luck!)
July 8, 2008 at 1:15 am
@JustT and anyone else who needs to stop watching camelicious fake lesby porn: please to peep the above recommendations from BCP/The Not Guest Blogger: Skinny Bone Jones, trust that she knows her stuff, y’all.
July 8, 2008 at 1:22 am
@skinnymckinkers: babeland! now that’s a good fuckin store! (verb, adjective)
July 8, 2008 at 2:29 am
@trixie… see, straight-laced White boys have given me the BEST orgasms by far… maybe because I’m Black, they feel like they’ve got something to prove, like because I’ve been with Black men, I must have high sexpectations or something. I don’t tell them that the brothas are by far some of the most selfish, self-centered, arrogant, and BO-RING lovers.
Conversely, I think if you are not Black, the Brothas will be less selfish. Heaven knows why, but this theory has proven true time and time again for me and my friends.
@SIN!: I’ve had over 20 a day, but some were flutter Os, some quiver Os, some wild banshee Os, and some all things in between. That’s the great thing about being a woman: our Os have variety. Mr. 20+ and I were in a secure loving relationship. I’ve discovered it’s really the only way I *truly* enjoy sex.
Like I’ve said before, I can understand the appeal of lesbian sex in theory. But in practice it’s just not for everyone.
July 8, 2008 at 9:51 am
CeeJee: So true about the varying degrees of Os. Men just don’t understand that. If every one isn’t a shuddering shrieking banshee one, they think they’ve failed. And also so true about the best sex being in a secure and loving relationship with someone you trust and who you truly believe loves you. That is major.
July 8, 2008 at 9:52 am
JustT: It’s important that we think of the children.
July 8, 2008 at 12:15 pm
*cracks knuckles*
i can think of two potential co-authors for the ask-a-tomboy feature.
guess who.
July 8, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Marn: Do not tease me. Such as.
July 8, 2008 at 12:31 pm
Not teasing. I’m sure if we put our heads together we could really bang out a feature, you know? Where is that gin-soaked lothario, anyway?
July 8, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Oh, lawsy.
July 8, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Why can’t I be a lesbian? Why? I hate men but love women. And they are apparently better in bed, judging by this post. Blurg. Where are my bicurious shoes?
I hate that I want peen yet hate the peen-bearers. It’s a lose-lose situation.
July 8, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Lala: I ask myself the same question.
And goodness, is it warm in this thread?
July 8, 2008 at 3:20 pm
In my very scientific study of a rather large number of heterosexual men, I’ve learned that approximately 2% of them really know how to handle a clit.
July 8, 2008 at 3:34 pm
(And forget about the G-spot. That’s like a 0.001% chance.)
July 8, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Where the hell have I been all day? It’s hot as hell in here!
And yes, @shesafire/duetoprivacy, clit slapping is WRONG. I have had a guy do that and I just sat there like, “what the fuck is that supposed to do?”
July 8, 2008 at 4:19 pm
(B, cover your ears. This will get vulgar.) OK, Lala & co., I am talking to you. I’m going to get real with you right now.
Yes, I’m a lesbian but I have spent 21 miserable years of my life fucking men (OK, only 5 of those years were actually spent fucking men, but you get my point). Sure, a small percentage of it was semi-pleasurable, even. Not that I remember.
Does being a lesbian mean you have to give up cock? (Did I know this when I realized I was gay? Not exactly, no. Yes, I am that gullible and naive. Was, rather.)
HELL NO, IT DOESN’T.
I absolutely love to get fucked every which way to Sunday, in fact, it’s infinitely better fucking with my tomboy than any poor gent could deign. Plus? I get it in whatever length, girth, texture and color I damn well please (I prefer Sexican shades, thanks.). Or, you know, whatever she pleases fucking me with. We can do this for days and days and DAMN days. Also, I love to give sloppy, happy, delicious blowjobs to a v. pleased tomboy. It’s fantastic and inexplicably more satisfying than it ever was with the menfolk. This is just the beginning.
Now, I’m not saying y’all should go on out and conduct irresponsible sexual experiments with human guinea pigs (girls have feelings, aw!), but I am saying that if the only thing seriously holding you back is the notion that lesbian sex = sex w/out peen, there are myriad delectable ways to have your cock, and eat it, too.
I couldn’t resist.
July 8, 2008 at 4:29 pm
@SBJ: That is hot as shit. As is the picture up top. Aaaand, I’m off to find some lesbian porn.
July 8, 2008 at 4:42 pm
Y’all are vulgar (TM).
I may be a goldstar hetero (and I really don’t know how y’all let me leave Dollywood that way), but I know the Weekend of a Thousand Orgasms. OK, maybe it was only 50, but it was a lot.
July 8, 2008 at 5:04 pm
Why do you try to hurt me?
July 8, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Huh, Skinny?
Why?
July 8, 2008 at 5:09 pm
ummm (raises hand shyly), what is a gold star hetero? Is it a good thing? I doesn’t unnerstand :(
But I DO understand now why one ex of mine spit a lot, and never believed I was having orgasms unless it was a screamy one. While the ex who watched only amateur porn was the King of Cunnilingus.
July 8, 2008 at 5:13 pm
@dictator4life: gold star hetero (which is sortof stolen) would mean you go your whole life with only peen and no poon experience. imo, not a good thing - but then again I am bi and therefore a greedy bitch.
July 8, 2008 at 5:22 pm
I’ll never be a goldstar anything. Waa!
July 8, 2008 at 5:31 pm
But, Skinny, your tomboy is!
My IYL is.
Bowling is.
But we aren’t…just an error in judgment during our younger days.
July 8, 2008 at 5:52 pm
KEEP RUBBING IT IN, B. I was trying to conform to mother’s unending desire to create a Norman Rockwell family!
July 8, 2008 at 6:51 pm
@Skinny: But that kinda defeats the point, doesn’t it? I mean, a plastic dildo over a real, fleshy, pulsating, quivering live responsive hard dick?
July 8, 2008 at 6:54 pm
@dorothy: Men that do shit like clit slapping have watched WAAAAY too much porn. It’s super annoying.
July 8, 2008 at 7:06 pm
@CeeJeeMcBeeGee: Please to not use explicit descriptions of penises in our lesbian post. Seriously? Grooooooosssssss. Talk about them in the straight sex posts. Talk away. The lesbians thank you in advance.
July 8, 2008 at 7:10 pm
@CeeJeeMcBeeGee: I second that emotion. Quivering, throbbing man bits ftw!
But if I’m just looking at it on the interwebs, I prefer boobies. Nothing below the belt, but boobies are pretty.
July 8, 2008 at 7:20 pm
@CeeJeeMcBeeGee: a life responsive hard dick that is done when he’s done? nah. if we wanted all that, we’d probably get on that shit. but, alas, no.
lesbians.
yummy.
July 8, 2008 at 7:29 pm
@angie: but when he’s done, you’re done a few times over, ya know? At least that’s been my experience. Not that I haven’t had bad sex, but if he’s finished before I am, I erase him from my hard drive.
Anyway, to each woman their own.
July 8, 2008 at 7:31 pm
@BangieB: Ha!
@dicator: Oh, boobies are very pretty. I find myself staring at them and thinking, “Who is her plastic surgeon and would it be rude to ask for a referral?”
July 8, 2008 at 7:32 pm
@@CeeJeeMcBeeGee: Of course, to each woman her own. It’s just that I don’t want to read explicit penis talk on a post about my multiple lesbian orgasms. You have made it very clear that you aren’t down with lesbian sex, and I wouldn’t say a word if it was a straight sex post, I swear. Of course, I probably wouldn’t be reading that post!
July 8, 2008 at 7:52 pm
@BAngieB: You’re kidding, right?
With all due respect, don’t presume to tell me what I can and cannot say. I’m participating in a discussion here. Agree with my points, or don’t agree, but don’t try to stop me from making them. This isn’t Jezebel.
July 8, 2008 at 8:15 pm
@BAngieB, @CeeJeeMcBeeGee:
Ladies - it’s all good. At the risk of sounding like Hortense (god love her) let’s get back on topic…lesbian sex for the win!
Trixie - let’s get this new column up and running ASAP - maybe people can email you their questions?
July 8, 2008 at 8:34 pm
@CeeBeeMcBeeGee, re boobs: I’m pretty small chested, so I like to look at natural big boobies. They fascinate me. Especially Monica Belluci and Marion Cottillard. So pretty!
July 8, 2008 at 8:47 pm
I have a question for you gals - if you could have a lesbian affair with someone, who would it be?
It could be someone famous, or your neighbor - whoever. But give us a little background on why you’d pick them.
I’ll go first - mine all time would be Cindy Crawford. She’s hawt, pretty, compassionate and smart. Did you know she was valedictorian of her high school & went to Northwestern on an engineering scholarship? (She then dropped out to model.) Smart, pretty, interesting girls do me in every time.
July 8, 2008 at 8:52 pm
@bowling: do they have to be celebustraight?
July 8, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Hell no. Bring on all lesbian fantasies, sister!
July 8, 2008 at 9:00 pm
@Bowling: This is a loaded question. Clearly you are baiting some of us.
July 8, 2008 at 9:01 pm
@CeeJeeMcBeeGee: Plastic!? Pish-posh, my tomboy’s cocks are far more fancifully engineered than that. God bless technology, science and VixSkin (http://www.vixencreations.com/home.html)! Granted, the quivering response is all woman, but that’s how I want it!
@B4D: Dude, Dictactor4Life will have to fight me for those two, yo. And Shane from The L Word. And Angelina’s little Asian ex-hottie.
PS. Walking was hard for a whole WEEK after our naughty mini-break at the end of June. HARD. Direct quote from M: “Jonesey, you didn’t get that way riding no horse. You got that way riding my cock.” She’s filthy.
PPS. B, you are testy. Here, have a titty mint.
July 8, 2008 at 9:01 pm
@myrtlebeachbum:
No, I’m just getting you all geared up for our upcoming sex column. So excited!
July 8, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Mmmmmm….booobies.
July 8, 2008 at 9:07 pm
@BAngieB: I like my hands allllll over some boobies.
July 8, 2008 at 9:11 pm
@SkinnyBonesJones: You can have the Misses Belluci and Cottillard. I’m a “gold star hetero,” and I just want to look. And do what I can to try and look like them. I even decided to grow out the pubes b/c of a pic of Marion Cottillard, where she just looked so mature, and womanly, and confident, and made Brazilians look like something for desperate, clingy girls.
July 8, 2008 at 9:13 pm
God, why are tits so FANTASTIC?!
July 8, 2008 at 9:15 pm
@bowling: alexandra hedison. from what i’ve heard, so down to earth. and she’s really funny. and perdy. portia de rossi can suck the dick i do not have. >:O
sorry, whatevs.
July 8, 2008 at 9:18 pm
@MBB: i know, right? sneaky!
..and to answer the question, Gabrielle Reece - AMAZINGLY SEXY in every way
July 8, 2008 at 9:19 pm
@skinny/bowling/bangie: titty soup! good for breakfast lunch and dinner, and those in-between snack cravings!
July 8, 2008 at 9:21 pm
@Bowling: Angelina Jolie or Kate Walsh.
I am kind of in awe/love with the persona surrounding Angelina. I say persona because I know that my impressions have been influenced by the bad-ass characters she plays in the action flicks (just saw Wanted, swoon). But the confidence, sexuality, and sheer awesomeness of it all is irresistible to me.
As for Kate Walsh: she’s purdy. I adore her hair. I love red-headed women. (Ginger men, oddly enough, do not hold the same appeal). And I loved her as Addison on Grey’s Anatomy. (Yeah, I know I’m picking people based on characters they played, not their real personalities but…)
There’s also a degree of… not sure how to phrase it. Idolization? Envy? Desire to emulate? I admire these women/the characters they’ve played, so I’m drawn to them. And if I can’t be like them, then maybe I could at least make out with them.
July 8, 2008 at 9:22 pm
@kadinsky: Great choice. I love tall women cuz they can wrap those looooong legs around your head. ;)
July 8, 2008 at 9:22 pm
@bowling: I’m onto you.*
@kadinsky: I’m onto you.*
*I wish.
Ahem.
Now, where were we? Oh, yeah. CELEBRITY crushes. I’m going with Kate Winslet.
July 8, 2008 at 9:26 pm
@myrtlebeachbum:
They don’t *have* to be celebrities. It can be anyone.
Good choice on Kate Winslet. HAWT.
July 8, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Kate Winslet: Smart and Pretty.
I bet y’all can guess most of the people on my list. I’m nothing if not consistent.
July 8, 2008 at 9:31 pm
@BAngieB:
SamRon
SamRon
SamRon
July 8, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Bowling:
Gillian Anderson.
Angelina is a distant second (but second nonetheless).
July 8, 2008 at 9:35 pm
@bowling:
and don’t forget
SamRon
SamRon
& that one chick…what’s her name…SamRon.
July 8, 2008 at 9:46 pm
@Bowling/angiesyounglover: Samantha Ronson for sure. Also, Katherine Moennig. Jodie Foster, now and forever. Hmmm, who else?
@badenbaden: We think identicle re: Gillian Anderson. Scully was the hotness.
July 8, 2008 at 10:13 pm
Maggie Cheung. Swoon.
July 8, 2008 at 10:25 pm
@Bowling: Whatsherface from the L Word and the Yoplait commercials.
And I wouldn’t kick Anne Hathaway out of bed. I’m narcissistic like that. And if Emily Blunt stopped by, that’d be OK, too.
July 8, 2008 at 10:37 pm
milla jovovich probably. especially in 5th element attire.
July 8, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Damn it. M gets Kate Winslet and I for a hot fantasy threesome.
I get Milla J. to myself~
July 8, 2008 at 10:42 pm
oh oh oh oh aand how could i forget my #1 babe freja?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e2/Freja_Beha_Erichsen.jpg
July 8, 2008 at 11:19 pm
Angie? I have been told I resemble Kate Winslet, mostly my mother’s half-blind bridge partners, but that’s OK, I’ll take it.
That’s why you called me tonight, isn’t it?
July 8, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Yes, Trixie, it is. Between that and your hot Canadian pronunciation of “pack” and “Spain”, well, it was really quite hot. As are you.
July 8, 2008 at 11:35 pm
You mean YOUR pronunciation of the word “Spain.”
I am not visiting my vertebrae, Angie. I am not going to “Spine.” I am going to motherfucking “Spayne!!!”
July 8, 2008 at 11:39 pm
You want to tickle my spine? What are you talking about? I’m telling my girlfriend.
July 8, 2008 at 11:40 pm
Here’s my stream of consciousness off the top of my head….Oh Bowling, yeah Cindy Crawford. Blond lesbian affair Jenny Mccarthy, I like the funny sexy. Jewish lesbian affair would be Gina Gershon, Rose would your mom approve? I would do Angelina in the years between 1997 - 2000 (don’t ask).
Non Celeb I may need to pick Skinny, she has a spicy temper and she seems to know her way around some cock too, what can I say I like the push. But you other gals could bring it and perhaps sway me…..let’s see what ya got.
Bring it you fucking dykes!
July 9, 2008 at 12:02 am
Well, I’m now sufficiently jealous, because no one (except me) has ever given me multiple orgasms.
Bowling, while I agree with most of the names already mentioned, I think my lesbian affair would be with Salma Hayek. Or Cate Blanchett (in all her Elvish splendor). Or both of them together.
July 9, 2008 at 12:28 am
Mine would be Eva Mendes, Jessica Simpson (back off, bitches, she’d be fun and she has stupendous hooters) and Penelope Cruz.
July 9, 2008 at 12:44 am
Trixie you know you would need to wax the mustache on that Cruz chick…now her sister, she’s the hotter of the two.
July 9, 2008 at 12:54 am
ooooh, Eva Mendes and Salma Hayek - yes, definitely.
and bwahaha! @trixie because she always has to defend the J.Simp choice.
July 9, 2008 at 1:08 am
@Pickles
The Push!!! oh yes!
July 9, 2008 at 1:16 am
Y’all, we can give the push. Trust.
July 9, 2008 at 1:25 am
@Skinny Bone Jones: SHANE! Yes!!! I’m a gold star hetero, and she gets me so fucking hot! I think she is my one and only lesbian fantasy, but with her who needs anyone else?
Also, I’m not sure what this says about me, but from a “visual” standpoint nothing gets me more riled up than guy-on-guy or girl-on-girl. From a soft-core perspective, The L Word and Queer as Folk have been two of the hottest shows I’ve ever seen! And hetero porn doesn’t do a damn thing for me, while lesbian and gay porn do.
And before I forget - thank you for the recs and the links! Be assured that they’ll be put to good use.
July 9, 2008 at 5:59 am
Late to the game, but my lesbian affair would be with Lena Headey. Watching her in “Imagine You and Me” is unbearable. Honestly, if that woman came up to me and said she wanted to be with me for the rest of our days, I would grab her hand and never look back.
July 9, 2008 at 7:45 am
@meaghan2k: Ooh, ‘Imagine Me and You’ is such a great movie.
July 9, 2008 at 10:19 am
as if i’m so late to this party! man, mine change all the time. i’m'a go with sarah shahi on this one, though, as she’s still fresh in my mind from that time when the L word was still half-decent.
July 9, 2008 at 10:27 am
Oooooh, yes. Sarah Shahi is one of the crossovers I have with you tomboys.
July 9, 2008 at 11:32 am
@Trix, I like Jessica Simpson too. She would just have to keep her mouth shut.
OMG, Eva Mendes, Sarah Shahi and Penelope Cruz. I love a gal with dark hair and dark eyes.
July 9, 2008 at 11:43 am
Sarah Shahi. Rowr.
July 9, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I can’t believe I missed this discussion. As I’ve mentioned in the past, my number one is Kate Winslet. So back off her, people who mentioned her. Or you will get cut.
July 9, 2008 at 1:13 pm
@formerlyzivah: see, I have always had men who were WILD about going down on me and fantastic at it-until just recently. Recently, I have had a cunnilingus-skills dry spell, and I’m worried that I got all the good ones at the beginning.
Clearly I will have to go have sex with a girl, as now I’m wondering what I’ve been missing.
July 9, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Angie, I will fight you for Kat Moenning. She was AMAZING in Young Americans. I totally forgot about her.
July 9, 2008 at 2:35 pm
@badenbaden: I don’t get the kate moenning love. She’s too skinny and butch for me…but straight girls swoon for her!
July 9, 2008 at 2:41 pm
BadenBaden@ Once again, our feelings are identicle.
July 9, 2008 at 6:57 pm
Fracking Katee Sackhoff as Starbuck. Dibs, bitches!!
July 10, 2008 at 11:00 am
Cate Beckinsale. Oh GOD, Cate Beckinsale. One of the first things that my boy and I bonded over was our mutual lust for Ms. Beckinsale.
July 10, 2008 at 3:00 pm
[...] raised in the inappropriate post Trixie made about a private matter I shared with her this week. The Lesbians - A Secret Hyper-Orgasmic-Society-of-X-Rated Hotness Already hot and bothered? Send us your questions or areas for discussion for future posts to [...]
July 10, 2008 at 5:44 pm
@ineffable.me yes Freja Beha..I have such a huge crush on her, she is so freaking pretty
http://www.showstudio.com/projects/freja/movie/