The Best Week Ever Blog, general purveyor of All Things Awesome And/Or Disturbing, has really outdone itself today with this clip from The Doctors, some daytime television horrorfest with an equally bizarre gameshow jingle. On today’s episode, the doctors and their professionally white-coated panelists discuss the dangers of soaking your tampon in vodka and inserting it for a quick, mind-blowing high.
Did you need me to repeat that? Ladies, please don’t SOAK YOUR TAMPONS IN ALCOHOL AND PLACE THEM INTO YOUR VAGINAS (I assume this warning also applies to Bacardi Breezers!). Seriously, kids, stick to crystal meth.
The Drs. Buzzkill are also anti-anal beerbongs. Which is a total bummer (snort!), because what midwestern frat party is complete without a Coors Lite colonic?
In other health news, heroin should be injected between your toes and not directly into the ear canal. Consider this your Monday PSA.
November 10, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Well, you posted this just in the nick of time. Now I guess I don’t need to stop at the liquor store on my way home.
(Seriously though, WHAT?!?!?!?!)
November 10, 2008 at 5:55 pm
I prefer to soak a penis in alcohol and stick it in my vagina. Less dangerous. Better high.
November 10, 2008 at 5:56 pm
You realize now that I feel I must try this.
November 10, 2008 at 6:10 pm
Whatever woman does this to herself deserves the subsequent raging yeast infection.
November 10, 2008 at 6:41 pm
but trix, what a waste! the half-bottle it’d take to properly soak the paper towel roll would be better suited for a social gathering, no?
November 10, 2008 at 6:50 pm
WHAT.
No, really: WHAT.
November 10, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Guess I’ll skip my Stoli douche today.
November 10, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Not you, Britney!!! No!!!
Our Canadian solidarity, right out the window???
November 10, 2008 at 10:58 pm
If this is the best use they can find for a vagina, “bless it” as BAngB would say.
November 10, 2008 at 11:23 pm
Well, I’m gonna do it now, just cause I read about it here.
I just broke up with a longtime love,like minutes ago(shameless play for sympathy,) and a fast high/buzz sounds good to me.
I don’t think I have vodka, wonder how rum would work? Too much sugar and yeast infection territory?
November 11, 2008 at 1:03 am
But… but… I saw it on CSI! And I wanna get drunk faaaaaast!!!
And c’mon – does *anything* anal ever look/sound “fun”? No! But alcohol always makes it better! Why not cut out the middleman of anal and just shoot the booze right up there? Better a beer enema than some dude pestering you (once inebriated) and then making a disaster of the entire experience :~P
Personally, I’m drinking my wine the “old fashioned way” and dropping the occasional tab(s). No other orifices need apply.
November 11, 2008 at 2:52 am
@Trixie: That’s what I thought too. The internet teaches me things I never knew, considered, wanted to do etc.
November 11, 2008 at 7:10 am
Overside: I’d avoid anything with sugar. Vodka sounds the safest, no?
Haguenite: I just can’t believe it would work. I want to debunk it! For the good of female alcoholics everywhere!
November 11, 2008 at 11:06 am
Well, fuck, there goes my weekend!
November 11, 2008 at 12:44 pm
and to think i couldn’t get any more drunk off of pussy..
November 11, 2008 at 1:00 pm
So, I thought the Host Doctor looked familiar. He was a contestant on The Bachelor (sorry for knowing this). How can you take his medical advice seriously? I’d sooner take medical advice from the two geeks on Mythbusters. I say we send this to them and let Adam and Jamie have the last word.
November 11, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Punch Drunk Pussy?
Whiskeylips?
Did I go too far? (Sorry, I couldn’t bring myself to watch the clip, I have no idea what y’all are talking about. I’m scared and there’s no one here to hold me.)
November 11, 2008 at 2:52 pm
@coopergirl – yes, and he is dating someone right now…i just read about it in Us…maybe Carrie Underwood i think?
He looks familiar but I can’t recall whether I watched his season. Which must mean he was really boring.
November 11, 2008 at 3:06 pm
ohmahgawd y’all, this is totes how we pass the time in Texas, don’t believe me?
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0203052sherry1.html
@JustT: share, dude. share and I’ll make it worth your while.
November 12, 2008 at 2:38 pm
@AYL: By the way, that was my choice for COD yesterday. Still is today, matter of fact.
November 12, 2008 at 5:25 pm
@kadinsky: I’m sure we can arrange something, if you really want.
November 12, 2008 at 6:06 pm
@JustT: oh I want, what can I do for you in return? buttercuppunch [at] gmail dot com.
November 12, 2008 at 6:08 pm
God I love this blog. Drug deals going on in the comments section. Beautiful!
November 12, 2008 at 6:22 pm
@tailfeather: why thank you!
November 12, 2008 at 10:16 pm
@kadinksy: you’ve got mail.
@trixie: I’m getting a head-start on the Obama administration and spreading the wealth around!
November 13, 2008 at 12:42 am
outstanding.