I have noticed a weird thing about this city — men always run with their shirts off. In the summer, I noticed it a lot, more than I have ever noticed it in any other place in the world. Along the Mall, on the leafy trails of Rock Creek Park, along the tidal basin — men running shirtless.
You would think a pent-up old cougar like me wouldn’t mind such a thing. But in fact, it annoys me. Firstly, not all runners are built like Calvin Klein underwear models and should be showing it off — some have pasty, jiggly, hairy man boobs. Secondly, it’s autumn now, not that warm anymore, so put a bloody shirt on. It is 62 degrees here today and some guy just ran past my house shirtless and I almost heckled him: “Nobody wants to see that!!!”
But mostly it’s the inequality that burns me. If women manage to run during a heatwave wearing a shirt, then men should do it as well.
September 27, 2009 at 1:49 am
I’ve always thought that double-standard was utter shite. Either everyone should get to go shirtless, or no one should. Honestly, I would give up seeing the hot shirtless guys if it meant I never again had to see another man boob bouncing by.
Ugh, that picture. My eyes!
September 27, 2009 at 3:30 am
Sing it, Trixie! I moved away from my ultra-conservative, ultra-Jeezified, ultra-women-should-submit-blah-blah family, and once I took the blinders off…the sexism and inequality in this world is utterly insane.
And seriously? I wouldn’t feel badly at all for telling men to cover up, because I don’t know HOW many douchebags I’ve heard/read say/write stuff to the effect of “if I don’t find you ‘hot,’ you should have to wear a muumuu all the time because YOUR APPEARANCE OFFENDS ME AS A HORNDOG.”
However, the upside is that now I have a lovely picture in my head, entitled “The Capital of My Country Has Bitch Tits.” (I figured it had to, with (sob!) Ted Kennedy, Arlen Specter, Newt….)
September 27, 2009 at 3:33 am
Oh, and I call bullshit on needing to be shirtless for comfort. D.C. counts as “the South,” and in the South, people lose their minds the instant it hits 69 degrees. A week ago, in Oklahoma City, it was 70 degrees exactly and people were bitching about the “cold” and BUYING FALL VEGETABLES WITH WHICH TO MAKE SOUP.
So these chubby old dudes are showing off. Hee. Look revolted and maybe they’ll get the hint?
September 27, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I’m not trying to one up you here, Trixie. But Astoria in the summer is filled with Greek men, and it is Speedo season.
October 4, 2009 at 4:45 pm
Hello, I have just returned from a beach holiday in Turkey. I don’t feel that I need to elaborate much, although I will say this: one older gentleman performed something of a bend-and-snap before me, with a rear-view, and I was fascinated to see that his testicles drooped to half-knee length WHILE ENCASED IN A SPEEDO. Goodness knows what the picture would be sans spandex support.
But, you know, it was a holiday, so I thought, get down with your bad self. I felt better about my pasty, flabby thighs. We are all creatures of the FSM.
October 5, 2009 at 10:09 am
ahaha!! I often tease the mister about what it will be like for him to get old and start sitting on his own balls. must remember to plaster the house in hidden cameras.
September 28, 2009 at 4:12 pm
Thank you ma’am. Here in summer the temperatures get to roasting, but I’ve never seen a Spanish man shirtless in the city. The German tourists (male I mean) on the other hand, sit down at sidewalk cafés in nice neighborhoods – I mean, not at the beach, where even there they have a “no shirt no shoes no service” rule – and proceed to get piss drunk. And they’re always the flabby sort (why ARE exhibitionists always ugly?)
September 28, 2009 at 8:35 pm
You’d think the more, er, endowed gentlemen would feel similar discomfort while jogging that we do. I mean, I wouldn’t exercise topless no matter how hot it got because I’d put one of my eyes out with a nipple. You’d think the be-man-boobed would want a little support. A Jogbro, as it were.
September 29, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Nast.
October 6, 2009 at 10:10 am
My feelings on the man-boob are a matter of public record. It is evil. It is wrong. And when I’m king it will be a jailable offense.
November 29, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Good job, i will keep visiting this blog very often.