You see that lady on the right? The one with the white hair who is clearly a student of the older persuasion? Most days when I’m at school I feel her age.

I go to school at night and on the weekend. I work my regular full-time job and two times a week and all day Saturday, I am in the business of educating myself. Getting that degree everyone tells you is so damn important is not only necessary but a pain in the ass when you’re twenty-eight and have law school dreams.

First, you’re not 17-21 and ya know, young and fancy free. You have a job, piles of bills to pay (like you know life as an adult), probably a husband or a wife, if you’re really fucked you maybe have a kid or two. But really, I’m not complaining. Ok, I totally am. But follow me after the jump and I’ll tell you why I have every right to be this miserable…

  • Kids
  • Thousands of them. I happen to go to a popular branch of the CUNY system. There are 22,000 students there. Granted, some of them are in their late twenties and thirties like myself, but the majority are kids. Annoying, loud, abrasive, text-messaging during class, idiotic kids. It makes me batshit. They think they’re so damn special and the first ones to have an opinion on anything. Yes, Julia, you’re the very first person to see how like, totally weird it is that like you’re into voting this year! Feeling all inspired and shit! Soooo weird. You should totes tell a reporter about it! And Devon? When you correct the professor you are making total sense! Socrates could not have meant to say he was ignorant and therefore wise. That’s retarded, yo! Stupid teachers.

  • Professors
  • Don’t get me wrong. Some professors can be ridiculously good, downright inspiring. And the vast majority of them know their shit inside and out. But a lot of them? A lot of them just have their head up their ass. Whether they’re working on their Doctorate or on some major research for the school or they’re writing a book…they are always doing something that makes your class the last thing they wanna do. With your class they’re paying the bills.

    You may have the kids fooled, but us old people know what’s going on. Why is my 10 question multiple choice quiz still not graded a week later? Does it really take you a month to grade my research paper? Yeah, no. I worked two full time jobs and went to school part time at one point. I know you can find an hour in-between writing the Great American Novel to glance at my essay responses.

  • Schoolwork
  • Ok, so I have a love/hate thing with schoolwork. Growing up, I never ever studied. I was lucky enough to be really good at school (instead of say at acting or singing or playing an instrument, I excelled at nerdiness) from the time I sat in my first kindergarden class until I graduated high school. This plan has worked for me since the first class I took. I procrastinate. I do papers at the last minute. I don’t study for tests. And for the first two years of college, I’ve continued on this path.

    Until now. Now I find that the work is excessive for my old ass. Why am I reading 6 books in one class? When am I supposed to do this, prof? In between taking the bus to the subway fitting in 8-10 hours of work before heading to my other classes, when do you suggest I read the 3 different books about voting patterns? Or the 2 books and 5 “readings” on the Great American Drug War?
    I don’t have time for this shit! I wanna hang out with my friends and make out with my man (among other things!)

    But alas, it will all be worth it when I’m working at some big firm and living in a sweet loft in the West Village. What? What’s that? The economy is tanking?