leaf-1.gifyou know how some people are gadget junkies? well, i’m one of those people, like, i mentally tag half the skymall catalog every time i have the misfortune of forgetting my ipod and i get stuck with nothing to do. but i’m also a gadget junkie of a different flavor, see i have some weird obsession with wasting spending money on ‘smoking devices’. and by ‘smoking devices’ i mean pipes, bongs, diggers, one hitters, dugouts, vapes, papes, bats, rollies, hookahs, steamrollers, bubblers, spoons, chillums – whatever you smoke your weed with, yo.

so, mr.k was super nice and assisted me by going around the house gathering up the various smoking accoutrement for this post, but this is by no means a complete showing.


from left: front row – wooden grinder from maui, 2 recent glass spoons from the local over-priced head shop, my dirty ass wood pipe that saw no action for years, 2 brass bats from a houston head shop last visit home, a super skinny pyrex bat from a place in green bay, ciggie one hitter also from over-priced assfuck local head shop, 2 glass sliders from i don’t know where, and my favorite 4 piece metal grinder brought back from our wedding in maui, awww!

back row – that big blue fucking thing is a gravity bong, fuck what they wanna call it but i’ll be damned if i give them any love b/c that thing SUCKS ASS, so dumb. you can see what it looks like, so take it from me and save your money. next is a little glass storage jar that is actually the mister’s, then a shitty plastic grafix bong for a phase i was going through (thankfully it didn’t last, chuggin’ bong pulls is so….jockstrap), a rolling machine, and then that one that might look like a pencil sharpener to summa youse is a vapor bros. vaporizer. hmm, there’s at least 2 glass pieces missing from this pic now that i look at it, those would be part of the ‘travel collection’, you see. oh, and also whatever pieces are in the garage that the mister doesn’t think i know about.

so is this a lot? most people i know around here have one fucking pipe when you see them, and they manage to hang on to that pipe for quite a while too, whereas one reason for the many purchases i make is due to breakage. don’t look at me, chief, i’ve broken like, one piece in the last 6 years, breaking shit is mr.k’s department. he has this really bad ever so charming habit of putting things in his baggy pockets and the next thing you know it’s either in pieces on the floor or lost along the way somewhere.

herbalaire-small.jpgalright, so my latest obsession is vaporizers. you would think spending more than $100 on these things would deter me, but no, i am truly sick in the head. this one is supposed to thrill me with the ‘dual functionality’ of either filling a bag with smoke or taking a hit directly from the tube. i’m completely fascinated with this whole bag concept right now, why? i could not tell you. much like i was enthralled with that dumbass gravity shit on that fuckin’ blue bong (see, it has a goddamn choke HOLE in the front of it that you don’t see in the demo but if you don’t keep it covered all the fucking time you get stank ass bong water dribblin’ all over you), so i guess it’s just something that gets stuck in my head until i get to drop some cash on it and then i can move on.

yeah, so, that one is $250 retail but that’s not even the worst of it. if i was walking down the street and found $600 today iwould totally blow it on this thing. volcano-small.jpg

‘cuz not only is it a novelty item but it’s a deeeeluxe top-of-the-line luxury novelty item! meaning i HAVE to have it, my WEED has to have it or else the thc crystals will just die of embarrassment and refuse to do their job. *sigh* so as long as they keep making stupid gadgets to smoke bud out of, i will continue to feed this pathological need to own those gadgets, even though i always end up rollin’ a j.