The title of this post is a cheap play on words, but whatever. You guys will click on anything with the word “sex” in it, so I’m gonna manipulate you & you’re going to like it.

   I feel like taking it back to the old school, cuz I’m an old fool who’s so cool. Not really, I’m just still in love with the R&B ballads of the 90s. The 90s had soul. The 90s had flava. The 90s had sistas. But, more importantly, the aforementioned sistas had voices:

   Compare this, if you will, to the videos of today. HOW many times did they change clothes up in there? And what schizophrenic fashion choices they were! In the 90s a woman believed she could be anything: A leatherdaddy, a Cuban dictator, a boxer, and a Groucho Marx impersonator all at the same time. Those were the days.

   I loved songs like this when I was a pubescent kid. These were the songs that danced in my head back when I was still young & inexperienced enough to believe that love actually could make you weak in the knees. Like, love could make you fully eat it on the sidewalk when your paramour passed by. Love could make your white ass suddenly able to bust a hot 16, like in Teen Witch. Love could deliver a one-two punch and simultaneously give you laryngitis and Tourettes, as this SWV song suggests. However, we all know that nothing could be further from the truth. Now that I’m grown I know that love is warm and tender, maybe a little giddy at times, but ultimately pretty boring.  But you know, I still kind of miss beleiving that there were literal fireworks in store for me in the future.

After the jump, a decidedly weaker ‘Weak’ for you to compare & contrast to SWV:

Yeah, Belinda, I agree: WEAK. Copping Madonna’s style has never been original, and in this case, has never been more poorly executed.

 

This concludes your 90s Nostaligia Trip for the day. Please tell me about your R&B flavored jr high school dances in the comments!

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