Look at that happy Mom, huh? She looks like she’d rather be folding laundry with her little mini-Me there than getting laid, smoking dope or getting drunk. That’s advertising myth-making at its finest, no? Because seriously, who actually ENJOYS folding laundry?

Today while toasting my son’s waffles I had a thought: I wonder how many times in my almost 18 years as a mother I have toasted someone’s waffles? How many sandwiches have I made? How many eggs have I poached? How many loads of laundry have I done? How many grilled cheese sandwiches have I cooked, how many socks have I matched, how many times have I emptied the dishwasher?

And I realized the answer is THOUSANDS. Thousands and thousands and thousands of times.

My kids, as they get older, are getting better about helping around the house. My daughter does her own laundry now for the most part. My son will bring his snack dishes up from the TV room and put them in the dishwasher. So there is, finally, a light at the end of the tunnel. But still, there is no escaping the endless drudgery of housework. And when you start nearing the 20-year mark of the voluntary slavery that is parenthood, you begin to understand those women in their 50s who simply stop cooking and refuse to do any more housework. If I never toast another waffle, poach another egg or fold another basket of laundry, I’ll die a happy woman.

Cooking is my least most despised chore — because I get to eat what I make, and I am a good cook. But to me, the absolute most despised household chore is folding and putting away the laundry. Nothing depresses me more than seeing two huge baskets of unfolded clothes staring back at me malevolently. Even cleaning bathrooms and scrubbing the fridge seem like a breeze by comparison.

This weekend, in a thoroughly modern housework twist, I am going to spend long hours reburning all of our hundreds of CDs onto the PC in order to rebuild our iTunes library that was recently nuked into oblivion when our PC crashed. Fun times that will require steady marijuana inhalation. Anyone got any other suggestions on how to get around that?

I know some people who actually love doing these sorts of neck-breaking household chores, including laundry, like the deranged mother and daughter above. Are there any of those types reading this right now? If so, do tell. I am also curious to hear what your most hated household chores are. Dusting? Vacuuming? Oven-cleaning?

Advertisements