This weekend I did something that some might find insane: I opened up my home to five women I had never met before (well, I had met one, Sinister Rouge, for about an hour in New York over Christmas). SinRoo, the infamous banned Jezebel commenter, flew to Toronto with a hilarious woman we’ll call SparklePony. Kadinsky arrived a few hours later from Wisconsin and two others — the cutest couple I have ever seen, let’s call them Inchworm and BritneyCanadaWhore — arrived from Montreal.

We hung around together all weekend, wandering my city, eating, drinking beer, cracking open champagne on a street corner in Kensington Market and smoking weed.

Insanity, some might say. But no, in fact, it was not. These are women I have been communicating with almost daily for a year. Online, of course, but still. Perhaps I don’t know their facial features other than the photos I have seen of them, but I do know the following about all of them:

Their politics, and why they vote the way they vote; their romantic histories; how they feel about marriage, children, abortion, men, women, mothers, motherhood, sexual preferences; their most humiliating moments; the worst thing that’s ever happened to them; the deepest they’ve ever been in love; what celebrities they adore/despise; what style shoes they hate; how they groom their private parts — via razor or wax; whether they liked their mothers; who their favourite bands are; what is their most cherished childhood memory; whether they like to cook; who has hurt them more than anyone in their lives; what makes them the happiest, etc etc.

In many ways, in fact, long before I met these women face to face, I knew most of them quite intimately and they knew me too, to the point where we can all sense, even online, if one of us is unhappy, sad, joyous on any given day.

It’s friendship like any other friendship, almost more meaningful in some ways since the connections we’ve made weren’t based in any way on appearance or social skills or style — our friendships are based on real stuff, on common beliefs and values and senses of humour.

But in case anyone wants to know:

1. Inchworm is a brainy goddess, and BritneyCanadaWhore is the sweetest, most adorable person ever.

2.  SinRoo was far smarter than anyone else in the room, and has no idea how sexy she is.

3. Kadinsky is a kind-hearted glamazon who literally stopped traffic walking around this city and was utterly resigned to it. I have never in my life seen more peoples’ heads swivel frantically to get a good look at a woman than I did while walking with Kadinsky. Old men, young men, men with their wives, lesbians, drug dealers — everyfuckingone.

4. SparkleFuckingPony is outrageously hilarious — she fell asleep last night cradling a bottle of Henkell Trocken — but underneath the hellion is a generous and sweetly vulnerable SparklePretty.

 

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