I’ve been watching a lot of NBA Playoff basketball lately and was recently annoyed by the ink that some of today’s mega star athletes have been sporting. I have nothing against tattoos mind you, I have three myself – but some dudes can wear their tats and some. just. cain’t, you know whatmsayin’?
Like, Rasheed Wallaces’ sun, I think it looks good. It’s a good looking tat, it has good placement, it suits him and it blends with the lines of other tats he has. But honestly I don’t think I really noticed how shiteous some other tattoos look on some of the other players, until the wonder of Hi Definition teevee brought it to my attention.
Kobe Bryant – I have never been able to figure out what exactly Kobe has tatted on his right arm and I can’t say I really care, but now that I can see it whateverthefuckitis all clear and shit, it’s hella dumb. The top one reminds me of fingers. Mickey Mouse gloved cartoon type fingers curved into a crown shape. Yeah, I dunno what the fuck either. Underneath we have his wife Vanessa’s name, but then this mess below it looks to me like weave kind of, capped off by some roman numerals and shit. Fug.
Jordan Farmar – Looks like it might have a meaningful story behind it, or maybe it’s just a bad move ‘cuz it looks like something a kid did. Actually I’m sorta interested in the story behind this one, if anyone knows hit me up.
Luke Walton – Mr. K had me staring all dry eyed at the screen last week trying to get a good look at the California boy’s tattoo to try and figure out what it is. Well, I don’t think it’s one you can figure out from a visual, but a little research tells me it’s 4 of the Grateful Dead dancing skeletons but instead of spinning canes and top hats they’re spinning basketballs. It always looked like dolphins or tiny fighter jets or some shit to me, so there you go.
Wrong, just Wrong and asking to be jinxed. In general I have a hard time watching Lebron, not for his playing skills (he is a fucking beast on the court) but everything else he does when every camera in the arena seems to be on him, starting with his insistence on chewing his fucking mouthguard OUTSIDE his mouth.
And then there’s Lakers guard Sasha Vujacic, who just plain pisses me off when he gets on my screen. I fucking hate his hair, it makes him look like the dirtiest, greaziest (yes, greasy with a Z so you know I really mean it) bastard. Dude has the skills when it comes to 3 pointers yet all I can think when I see him running down the court is that when he swings his head around it looks like a dirty mop. I keep expecting him to make the complete transformation any day now. What happened, Sasha? You were so cute when you got drafted. Maybe he was traumatized by an unwholesome event and just can’t get clean no matter what he tries so he just gave up.