This is why I lurve Consumer Reports, when they save me from straight up wasting my money on some shit I was about to toss in the cart next time I bother to do actual grocery shopping instead of running in and out of the store every other day because there’s nothing in the house to eat besides a jar of cocktail onions and some stray gummy coke bottles.

Have you seen these? They’re called, ‘Green Bags’ and the lying ass charlatan with her name on them claims they will “prolong the life of your fruits and vegetables” by absorbing the gases your produce releases which allegedly causes them to go bad. You can read the low down for yourself, but basically CR has busted Green Bags’ claims by using Ziploc bags, regular supermarket plastic bags or no bag at all. In fact, according to CR these piece of shit Green Bags couldn’t keep the mold offa anything (except bananas, but they come self insulated for fucks’ sake).

Few things piss me off like a product that promises something it’s never going to deliver. And in these times with all the crap we humans insist on producing, well, there’s just no need for so much of the shit we see on the shelves every day. In this case, Debbie Meyer can take her useless Green Bags and use ’em for all the bullshit she’s shoveling.

Debbie Meyer will sell you this bag for some cold, hard green.

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