I’ve been feeling snarky, emotional, fat, hideous, built like a Latvian weightlifter and pissed off all week as I await Aunt Flo’s imminent visit, because I loathe that bothersome hag. For some reason, however, I managed to convince myself that my hair was the problem. And so I marched into the nearest hair salon and demanded a short graduated bob this morning.
And it sucks, ladies. I already have a round face and this bubble-shaped bob makes me look like Mrs. Potatohead. In other words, I feel even fatter and more hideous than I did before. It is way too short in the back. I might need to get some serious highlights to make it look less soccer Mom. Or should I? Is the approaching arrival of that c**tbag Flo steering me wrong again?
Tell us. What’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever done to yourself while PMSing?
June 25, 2008 at 3:39 pm
You lunatic! This is why I am now doing period suppression by staying on the pill all the time.
Nevermind highlights, go platinum for the summer.
And I’m sure you’re still looking super cute. My son has no neck so he’s a good match for you.
Go potatoheads!
June 25, 2008 at 3:47 pm
graduated bobs don’t say soccer mom! victoria beckham has one and that bitch wears heels to the field. as long as you’re not rockin’ a lime green fanny pack, i’d say you’re fine.
June 25, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Go for the highlights. You are probably just suffering from immediate post-haircut-trauma and it will start to be acceptable in a day or two, but highlights are always a quick-fix. Plus, if you’re worried about it looking blunt, it will give it some depth and dimension and make it look lighter. I like Espanya’s platimum suggestion, actually, but you may not be prepared for another change that major yet.
I’m willing to bet it looks hot and you’re just not used to it yet. Just keep thinking how summery it is!
June 25, 2008 at 4:07 pm
I have a graduated bob and I tend to feel fat for the first day after a trim. I think it just takes a second to get used to it. You’ll probably love it tomorrow.
June 25, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Hey, Hot Momma? No picture, no comment.
June 25, 2008 at 4:36 pm
First of all, I am sure you look lovely. Just give it a few days to settle in.
And secondly- DO NOT get your eyebrows waxed when you are PMSing. Your body is retaining water and your skin is super sensitive and it just ends up a big ol’ pile of OUCH.
June 25, 2008 at 4:40 pm
I refuse to believe that you look anything other than smokin’ hot until I see pictures to the contrary.
Periods just make me eat. Like pints of ice cream at a time eat. And I am just now connecting my upcoming menses (hehe) to the entire bag of Cheetos I ate for dinner last night. Oops. Foiled again.
June 25, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Such a timely post Trixie. I have an early morning hair appointment tomorrow and my very long mop of hair is in for a serious cut…if I have my way. But I doubt my hairdresser will let me do anything too rash, that’s the plus of staying with the same hairdresser…they are the voice of reason in the sea of PMS insanity. I do recommend finding a quality hairdresser and staying put, it’s worth the money.
My PMS insanity usually involves multiple packages of Double Stuff Oreos.
June 25, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Have you tried Double Stuff Fudgee-os? Oh my!!!
June 25, 2008 at 10:51 pm
I tried to kill myself while PMSing.
That was pretty dumb.
June 26, 2008 at 12:26 am
If I recall correctly, I got married while PMSing. This I do not recommend.
June 26, 2008 at 5:54 am
what is this potatohead nonsense? Trix, you know you look nothing like that unfortunate Willis girl, I don’t care what kind of haircut you get.
June 26, 2008 at 8:23 am
Lipstick: Oh dear! I figured the French maid costume might have been PMS-related.
June 26, 2008 at 9:17 am
Trix: No, adolescence was solely to blame for that one.
Oh, and my mother. She may have been premenstrual when she agreed to let me wear it.
June 26, 2008 at 9:58 am
double stuff oreos are the best !!! And Im sure the haircut is not that bad, you probably just to play with it just get used it it.
June 26, 2008 at 11:46 am
Sounds yummy Trixie, I’ll have to try that this weekend. I purchased my initial PMS Double Stuff Oreo fix last night…ate half the damn bag by this morning.
June 26, 2008 at 2:29 pm
I have an inverto-bob and love it because it says long hair but acts like short.
June 26, 2008 at 3:19 pm
Aw geez. Are we all cycling together now, too? That explains why I had 2 periods in one month (like a freakin’ blue moon) in March.
I agree with Hortense: Leave the body hair alone when you are PMSing, including head hair. Do not get acupuncture, waxing or anything else that requires a glass of chilled chardonnay just to get through it in the first place.
Also, pix pleeeeze! I bet you’re still smokin’.
June 26, 2008 at 3:42 pm
GT: What is an inverto bob? A mullet?
June 26, 2008 at 5:03 pm
Thought of another one: Do not go bathing suit shopping when expecting the Crimson Wave.
June 26, 2008 at 8:57 pm
@ GT, Trixie: an inverto-bob is my shy husband…get it? (his name is Robert…)
I know, I’m lame…it’s the damn humidity…
Invertobob is a good screen name though…
June 27, 2008 at 1:45 pm
That’s it. I am tracing all of those days in my Moleskine with a red ass Sharpie from now on every month, just in case.
June 27, 2008 at 1:58 pm
I’ve seen the pics, you look gorgeous and your hair looks so shiny!
June 27, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Sparkle: That’s because you love me. And I love you back!
June 28, 2008 at 7:16 am
@Paisley: You are sooooo right about bathing suit shopping. You are retaining tons of water so you will ALWAYS look and feel fat and also you are angry. You are so angry at the world and yet also sad and crying at commercials and this is not the time to see yourself in a series of bathing suits.
Also, kind of ew for the next person trying them on. Social responsibility!
I hardly ever talk about PMS symptoms because I don’t want to give men ammunition to make jokes, snide comments, or use it as an excuse for why I am less capable of handling something. But it sure can suck.
June 28, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Dumbest Thing I’ve ever done while PMSing: Tried to kill myself.
Graduated bobs: HOTT! Seriously, flattering, sexy, not “mom hair” at all. Trust me, I fear the mom hair, and have often worn a cute bob as a non–mom, despite my three kids, a few times.
Rock that bob!
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