After dropping from exhaustion while working, learning and arguing politics … I am back!

My first summer vacation installment: The Wicker Man and how it’s not only one of the worst mainstream movies I’ve seen in the last five years, but along with Nicolas Cage’s ham-bone acting style and unintentionally hilarious dialogue, it’s filled with misogyny, sexism and outright demonization of those that are born with vaginas. Y’all…it’s totally fucked. I’ll tell you how my stony haze led me to a treasure trove of information on the original movie, the woman-hating director that so changed the 2006 version to reflect his misogynist stance and more…after the jump!

Le film:
It was awful. So bad. Ellen Burstyn, whom I loved in Requiem for a Dream , is utterly wasted and chews through scenery like Robin Williams as Patch Adams . And Nic Cage is predictably bad. Even the films of his I enjoy tend to be kinda bad anyway. I admit it. I absolutely love The Rock. But The Wicker Man?  I’ll have to agree with my fellow Rotten Tomatoes critics that gave the film (lol! film!) 16% approval out of a possible 100%.

Now comes the woman-hating part. And it’s not just my feminist ass that notices. The director, Neil LaBute, tends to throw a little (or a LOT) of misogyny into almost every film he’s ever made.
His most critically-acclaimed film has been In The Company of Men, which starred Aaron Eckhart (whom he met at BYU…they’re both Mormons! Sort of unexpected right?) and another dude as two misogynist assholes that take advantage of a deaf woman.

Let’s skip Nurse Betty, but let’s just say that was about a psychotic woman (oh my there are a lot aren’t there?!) that stalks a soap star into his real life.
Next movie I saw by this guy was The Shape of Things …which I remember liking! But then reflecting on it you realize the whole story is about how Rachel Weisz is a total user bitch that gives Paul Rudd a makeover, practically forces him to fall in love with her only for us to later find out that it was all for an art project. Those damn feminist bitches and their fucking art! Stomping on men’s hearts along the way. What a cunt. Okay so you know, not totally misogyny territory yet…but we’re getting there y’all. We’re getting there.

Now for our raison d’etre: The Wicker Man:

First, it was utterly inconsistent with the original film, which was a British cult classic held in very high regard by critics and the public. In that version, the leader of the cult is a man (my main man Christopher “Samuran” Lee!) and all the people on the island are pagan lunatics. The LaBute version? It’s basically The Isle of Lesbos, where crazy women lie, cheat, manipulate and murder. The entire movie is filled with the Good Christian Policeman trying to make his way out of the murderous rage of his ex-lover and the crazy feminazis that she has taken up with. Really, he’s only there to save his daughter! And even she cannot escape her evil female destiny. She’s the one who sets her daddy on fire!! It would be sad if it wasn’t hilariously bad at the same time.

And the jewel on the crown that is this misogynist piece of shit movie? A so-bad-it’s-terrible scene where the good officer is carried away into the Wicker Man by a throng of angry vaginas while he screams, “You bitches!!!! YOU BITCHESSSS!!!!”


Advertisements