Today I was looking through my linen closet for a beach towel and realized that I have dozens and dozens of duvet covers, many of them never used. It seems every time I walk into a goddamned department store, I buy a duvet cover.
I seem to accumulate certain items as though I have obsessive compulsive disorder. They are as follows:
Bathing suits. Do I really need 20? I wear three of them.
Marijuana remnants: Can I not just finish the whole bud? Do I have to hide little scraps in tin foil and in obscure places all over the house, like inside the piano, fearful that my children will stumble upon them? Hey, idiot: How about just SMOKING IT til it’s done and when the children are out, and then keeping your stash in one top-secret place?
Cereal: Ditto. I have about 20 boxes of cereal in my kitchen cupboard right now. I wonder why I need four boxes of All-Bran Strawberry Bites, three of which have a minuscule amount left at the bottom.
Tweezers: I have lost count. There are at least 20, and they are situated in almost every sunny window of my house, along with a magnifying mirror. Yes, I have an obsessive fear of facial hair.
Summer clothes: Tank tops, sun dresses, flip flops, shorts, gauzy, flowy tops, shorty cotton nighties — my drawers are stuffed with them. It snows in this country from October to April. That’s seven of 12 months. What the hell is wrong with me? I have more sundresses than I have sweaters or wool socks.
Tea towels, or dish towels as you Yanks call them: I blame this on my deranged old mother. She buys me about 20 a year from the church bazaar.
OK, ladies. Let’s hear it. What are you hoarding?
ButtercupPunch - "La clique, c’est chic!" 
July 10, 2008 at 10:03 am
T-shirts. I must have 30 of them, and wear the same 5 or 6 all the time. Also extension cords and power strips. Again, I always have like 15 of them, and am never using more than 2 at once.
July 10, 2008 at 10:06 am
Dammit, woman, I want too many summer clothes! I have about two sundresses and four skirts and it’s never enough, but I refuse to BUY them because I’m broke and it costs money.
Honestly, what can I afford to hoard? I mean … nothing, really. I just refuse to throw away my childhood doll stuff, I suppose.
July 10, 2008 at 10:09 am
I have enough paper towels, cans of Ro-tel, Cokes and dog food to last through the apocolypse.
July 10, 2008 at 10:11 am
Tweezers as well. I always forget to bring them on vacation and thus have about 5 pairs of them scattered about.
And button down shirts. for work. Too many of those, not enough fun cute things for the weekend. Though I am amassing quite a collection of breezy summery dresses seeing as how it is too boiling to wear pants in the summer in the city.
July 10, 2008 at 10:12 am
Travel kits. I have like 15, yet I’m too poor to take much vacation. T-shirts. J. Crew tank tops. You want a color, I have it. Sweatpants. Hi-liters.
July 10, 2008 at 10:14 am
Shoes. I’m not talking a nice shoe collection here, but crappy shoes that I buy on sale at department store and such and then never wear because they’re not comfortable. I’ve gotten better about not buying new ones, but now I need to get rid of the ones I have. Starting with the sandals I wore today, the blister-forming bastards.
I also have a ton of t-shirts, but I wear most of them and already weeded my collection a lot last year. Baby steps. And I can wear many of them to work, because there is basically no dress code.
My worst habit is probably my packrat tendencies with paper items – programs or ticket stubs that I think may have sentimental value, as well as papers from school and such. Many things have been boxed up and dwell in my parents’ garage/basement. I’m sure the mice are enjoying them.
July 10, 2008 at 10:14 am
– Underwear. Seriously, I could stock a Victoria’s Secret with the number of underpants in my top drawer. And yet I have my favorite 8 or 9 pairs that I prefer to wear while the other 2 or 3 dozen get neglected.
– Also, shoes and blue jeans. I have so many pairs of blue jeans but only wear like 2 of them. Dozens of pairs of shoes but always want to wear my Rainbows. ??
– Oh! And black dresses. So many black dresses. Apparently I am a clothes hoarder.
July 10, 2008 at 10:15 am
Lipgloss/Lipstick: 36.
July 10, 2008 at 10:19 am
@PinxSoxHat: The Favorite tank tops from J.Crew? LOVE THOSE. The majority of my summer wardrobe is made up of them, and in the winter they become my undershirts.
I have too many flip flops. I rotate the same 3 or 4 pairs, but my closet floor is littered with extra pairs– even broken ones!
Also, almost-empty makeup or facewash. It’s pretty much done and I’ve moved onto a new product, but I hold onto the old stuff just in case I ever really want to use up that last bit of foundation/moisturizer/lip gloss/mascara, etc. (I never do.) It looks like I have a ton of makeup, but only because I have nearly-empty containers dating back to college filling up my drawers.
July 10, 2008 at 10:19 am
@LipstickLibrarian: And thus, your name is explained.
That’s something I forgot about – makeup, mostly nail polish and lipstick/lipgloss. The worst part is that I don’t even wear lipstick that much. But I love the idea of it.
Really, I’m just a horrible packrat with everything. This is why I have a stuffed animal named Paco the Packrat. He’s like my spirit animal or some shit.
July 10, 2008 at 10:19 am
Every time a roommate moves out, I am stuck with 15 boxes of cereal I’ll never eat. And yet, I can’t bring myself to throw them out. 1) it will overflow my trash can and 2) soooo wasteful. And so the cereal stockpile builds.
July 10, 2008 at 10:22 am
I hoarde tweezers, shoes, tomato sauce and canned diced tomatoes. I’m sure there would be more if I had more storage space.
July 10, 2008 at 10:28 am
harper’s bazaars. i have 9 sitting on my desk right now, some old, some vintage that i buy from the shady street vendors in the west village, and no matter how hard i try to sit down and read through them, gut them of the good photography, then trash them, i just cannot. for awhile i felt kind of pretentious having them on my desk, like wooo, look at me and my bizarre amount of bazaars!, so for awhile i put them in a drawer, but then i really forgot about them. it’s like come on man, what are you holding on to, read the fuckers already.
cue: omc’s “how bizarre”
also: tshirts, burnt cds that i never listen to, clothes in my closet i never wear, and purses that never make the cut.
July 10, 2008 at 10:30 am
I personally don’t think I have all that much of anything (except for candles…you’d think it was the middle ages if you visited our house), but according to Mr. Meurent, I have waaaaay too much of everything–clothes, shoes, bras, q-tips–you name it and according to him I have over-consumed it. But mind you, this comes from a man who wore the free sneakers he scored from a friend in college (class of ’98), black high-top size 13 monstrosities that he even wore running, until LAST MONTH, and that was only because the soles literally fell off. And I could go on–about the underwear falling off the waistband, the holey t-shirts, etc. Thank goodness he has to dress for work, otherwise you’d think I married a homeless person.
July 10, 2008 at 10:30 am
I also never throw out my dogs’ old toys. No matter how tattered and gross they become, I hold onto them in case they still want to play with them. But I still can’t resist buying them new ones, so the pile grows. We’ve long since outgrown the modest basket we used to keep their toys in, now my kitchen just looks like the Island of Misfit (Dog) Toys.
July 10, 2008 at 10:36 am
I don’t hoard but Mr. Withazee does. He has postcards and show catalogs from every art museum he has ever visited– hundreds of them. Stacks of magazines. VHS tapes (we haven’t had a VCR in probably 5 years). Cassette mix tapes. Raw film in the fridge that expired years ago. 10 nearly empty tubs of shaving cream from Origins. Not to mention truckloads of paper goods from Costco. And t-shirts going back to 1978. He even has clothes (that do not fit him) that belonged to a friend who has been dead for almost 10 years.
This drives me crazy. But mostly he keeps it within the confines of his man room so I just try to keep the door closed.
July 10, 2008 at 10:37 am
I get my pack rat tendencies from the ‘rents.I have a t-shirt/tank top problem which I tried to pare down at the beginning of the summer, but couldn’t so I now have a big plastic storage bin in my basement of “sentimental” t-shirts.
Also, I’m obsessed with tins of any kind. Altoids tins, gum tins, cookie tins vintage tins, those tin beer trays or signs (these are my fav).
And finally – keys. When I was like 6 one of my uncles gave me this huge cluster of old keys and key chains and it delighted me so. So I now have a huge cluster of old keys & key chains in my junk drawer which I refuse to get rid of. This one really baffles my husband.
July 10, 2008 at 10:37 am
Pens and pencils. Sorta. I don’t actually hoard them, but we have massive amounts, and I don’t know where they came from. Cups FULL of pens by the telephone. One my desk. On his desk. Pens and pencils in the kitchen, on the coffee table, by the bed. We use computers for everything but quick “honey, i’m out, plz feed cats” notes. Where did they come?
I am also a cat toy offender. Ping pong balls, nasty catspit-soaked ‘nip bags, broken things that (used to) squeak or vibrate.
July 10, 2008 at 10:42 am
Cate: I honestly never made the connection until I left that comment!
Nuthin’ gets by me . . .
July 10, 2008 at 10:43 am
-Skin care/hair care/etc. I have bins and bins of that crap.
-cleaning supplies. When I moved, I brought mine, the old tenant left hers, and the woman I was replacing at work gave me hers. I have 4-5 bottles of any cleaner you can imagine. Funny part: I NEVER clean.
(Trixie, dude, your kids are definitely going to know you smoke the reefer. Parents always think the kids don’t know, and the kids always know. Always.)
July 10, 2008 at 10:44 am
The Man is the packrat in our house. I don’t think I’m too bad, actually. (He gets mad at me when I say that, because he has worked hard at getting rid of a lot of shit, so he’s really not that bad). I guess I would say cheap shoes and paperwork. I don’t really keep a lot of unnecessary paperwork, but it is EVERYWHERE.
July 10, 2008 at 10:45 am
Dammit, WordPress, I have an account, you assholes! Stop logging me out.
July 10, 2008 at 10:47 am
The question is really what am I NOT hoarding. But here goes:
-ticket stubs/ old programs (3 boxes worth. Yes, really.)
-old notebooks with notes from college (3 shelves worth, all half-full)
-clothes I will never wear again, including jeans 3 sizes too small or too big.
-Really bad books, that I could barely get through the first time. (The Davinci Code!)
-couscous. I must have ten boxes of couscous in my apartment. Some of it must be 5 years old. I always buy it because it’s easy to make and is cheap. The problem?….I don’t really like couscous.
-moisturizers. Jesus christ, I use one moisturizer every day, and yet I have maybe twenty-thirty half-used bottles of lotion that I don’t love the smell of, or is too greasy, or I’m just meh about, or reminds me too much of that boy I was dating, or I don’t like the bottle, for all I know, but can I throw it out?
HA.
Mind you, all of this is in an apartment. In Manhattan. Where there is no space. Because I am sick in my head.
July 10, 2008 at 10:49 am
Oh, and food in general. My roommates try to throw out old boxes of cereal, pasta, etc, and I STOP them and say “I’ll eat it! Don’t throw it away!”. Three guesses if I ever eat it.
It’s like I lived through the Great Depression or something.
PS I love this post, Trix.
July 10, 2008 at 10:49 am
Magazines: I have been hoarding them since I was a teenager. Back at my mom’s house I have a ridiculous amount of old issues of Spin and Rolling Stone that were too cool to throw away. Add to that all the magazines that No Doubt/Gwen, Hole/Courtney Love, Foo Fighters/Dave Grohl, etc were on the cover. Random issues of Vanity Fair, Nylon and V magazines since they started up until 2002. The collection continues at my current house plus random art magazines that I pick up, foreign magazines that i cant cut up because i paid 20 dollars for them… i have a problem. but uhh you know, it’s for research! or something
socks and underwear: my first year living out the dorms i didnt have a washer in my apartment and the neares laundromat was on south street (i lived in philly then), since there was no way in hell that i was going to walk down south street with my laundry i just started buying socks and underwear. I can go about 3 or 4 months without doing laundry and when I do nothing fits in my drawer.
these are the worst offenders.
July 10, 2008 at 10:51 am
Cubs t-shirts. Well, t-shirts in general, but specifically Cubs t-shirts. I can’t even count how many I have. I got 2 at Spring Training this year, so I thought I was good for the year. But no, I bought a new one at the game last night, because when I went to the normally overstuffed t-shirt drawer to get a Cubs shirt to wear to the game, all the “good” ones were all in the laundry (oh yeah, I sometimes buy new clothes rather than do laundry, so I can now go for veeery long periods of time without doing the laundry). I simply couldn’t wear the tie-dyed Cubs shirt I use as a nightshirt, plus I “needed” one to replace the Mark Prior t-shirt I’ll never wear again.
July 10, 2008 at 10:52 am
And magazines. I’ve never thrown out a magazine in my life. I steal them compulsively from the gym and keep them forever. My roommate once went through our apartment and recycled every magazine she found. I think she got to 60 or something- and there were more in my room.
July 10, 2008 at 10:52 am
@ Jerseylicious: Yes. The favorite tanks. Best things ever. If I’m in a J. Crew and they’re on sale, I can’t resist. Then I forget what colors I already have, and I end up in a situation where I have six brown tank tops. Then I forget that I just wore a brown tank top, and I wear one the next day, and people think I’m gross.
July 10, 2008 at 10:52 am
My hoarding tendencies…piddle pads and baby wipes for the fluffer nugget, several HUNDRED dog toys (yes you read that correctly), Bounty paper towels, plain bottled water, Sam’s flavored bottled water (esp lime!), Diet Coke, Hillshire Farms Thin Sliced Deli Meat, and Lean Cuisine Paninis.
July 10, 2008 at 10:53 am
Okay, yeah. I have my problems, but y’all are CRAZY!!! :)
July 10, 2008 at 10:53 am
1) lipgloss. I own probably 18 lipglosses. I use three. But JUST IN CASE I want to change up the color rotation, I must keep the other 15 or so around.
2) Books. NOT that one can ever have too many books, really, but: our apartment is a tiny studio. So tiny that we had to put the bookshelf in the kitchen. The bookshelf is full, and the tops of the bookshelf and refrigerator are stacked with books. The mantel is stacked with books. The fireplace is full of books. There are books stacked under the desk. I probably could’ve gotten rid of my Calc I textbook from 2006 by now, but no! it must join the stacks of books!
3) black t-shirts. I own about eight. I only wear one, because all the rest are not quite perfect (too short, wonky sleeves, odd neckline, migrating side seams).
4) Boxes of Trader Joe’s whole-grain cranberry instant oatmeal. I have five boxes of this stacked in my cupboard at the moment. What? It’s really fucking good oatmeal.
July 10, 2008 at 10:55 am
Things that I save and will never get rid of: Southern Living Magazines! I don’t care that the boxes are so heavy I can barely lift them – the recipes are awesome.
I will admit to having WAY too many pairs of shoes – especially black. And I counted 25 shades of Bobbi Brown eye shadow – not including the 7 compacts that have 3-4 different shades. Do I love make up? Yes! Do I feel bad for having so much? Absolutely NOT! A little obsession is never a bad thing!
And for some reason I have a big box of hotel shampoos/soaps/sewing kits. Why? Who knows!
July 10, 2008 at 10:57 am
@ineffable: You stole my two things.
But, my magazines were crappy ones that I was just too lazy to take down five flights of stairs and recycle when I was done with them. Generally, I had a problem hording all recyclables. It was a long way down to the trash bins in my old apartment, and the recycling wasn’t very organized at all. So therefore I’d never take it down (it was at least washed or emptied of food in my defense).
My masses and masses of underwear fall into two categories. Either stuff I found to be really cute, but horribly uncomfortable, and so therefore is never ever worn, or the very comfortable but generally wrecked and falling apart comfortable cotton stuff. Even when I moved, I didn’t bother going through that drawer, it just all got packed.
July 10, 2008 at 10:58 am
– miniture travel packs of baby wipes–for public pooping, even if that pretty much never ever ever happens.
– sample sized products, even if I know it’s something I’ll never use, lord forbid I might someday be called on a last minute trip to a humid island and regret throwing out that package of sunsilk anti-frizz creme.
– millions and millions of lip balms. In case I should happen to run out of my preferred one. Even if I don’t like cherry chap stick, it might stave off the rapidly accelerated dehydration process. I haven’t been brave enought to see what should happen if my lips go thirty minutes without relubrication but I suspect it’s something bad.
July 10, 2008 at 10:59 am
I am a dog toy offender, too. My current batch of pups doesn’t play with toys, so I continually buy new ones to try to make them. Play, dammit, play! I also have a ton of dog beds. And, because I am sentimental, I have my first dog’s first toy – a Ziggy baby – in my top drawer, and he’s been gone for almost three years.
July 10, 2008 at 11:00 am
Kat, I’ve got ticket stubs and programs from all kinds of events, some of which I’ve saved for 20 years or more, as if one day someone will accuse me of NOT going to see Depeche Mode on the Violator tour and I’ll have to prove it to clear my name of such a heinous charge. I also have a hard time getting rid of clothes I like that don’t fit anymore, especially jeans.
ineffable, we have identicle laundry issues.
July 10, 2008 at 11:02 am
@ Jerseylicious: Oh how I know that feeling! It generally looks like a tornado has ripped through a toy store at my house…I have toys in every room!
July 10, 2008 at 11:05 am
Jackets and hoodies. I don’t know if it’s the canada thing, but I own 1-3 of any other type of clothing and about a million jackets. I can’t help it, I like sweater weather. Also for some reason I have about 30 white t-shirts.
Oh and trix? I can do you one grimier than your hidden shake – I’ve got roaches (not the bug guys) sitting in and around every ashtray in every room of my house, and about a hundred more in an old cigarette pack on my fridge.
July 10, 2008 at 11:06 am
Lipstick/lipgloss I wear it ALL the time, but I really only wear one shade, the others are my ‘experimental’ shades, but really, I never wear them. And I have it all over the house, too. In kitchen drawers, bathroom, bedroom, dining room hutch even, and of course the car and my purse. I am never more than two feet away from a tube of the stuff!
And now that I’ve typed that out, I feel very OCD…
And tea. Loose tea, tea bags, green tea, black tea, RED tea, herbal…you name it, it’s in my pantry. I rarely drink it…
July 10, 2008 at 11:08 am
ive been a good girl and trying to clean out the house in the past year. i think ive been successful so far. but i still have too many books, cds (once its on ipod, i could care less), clothes, shoes, bags, and paper scraps and things that i always think, “oh ill make some awesome craft out of this” and i never do. so i have piles of what most people call “trash”.
July 10, 2008 at 11:08 am
@amazonredheadedubervixen: Ticket stub from Police concert in 1983? Got it.
July 10, 2008 at 11:09 am
@london_calling: Ha! My best friend and I were just having a conversation about how in everyone’s underwear drawer, there are three categories of underwear:
1.) Cute, sexalicious underwear. Generally black or red, generally uncomfortable, and never clean when you need them to be.
2.) Underwear fit for public viewing. It’s not so sexy, but it’s serviceable- plain cotton Hanes, the nicer of the granny panties, your basic tighty- whities.
3.) Horrible, unspeakable, falling-apart underwear, which would cause Tim Gunn’s heart to burst out of his chest. The kind where you cross the street carefully on the days you’re wearing it, lest you get hit by a bus and, upon your clothes being cut off in the hospital, the doctor takes one look at your panties and decides your life is not worth saving.
Tell me it’s not just me.
July 10, 2008 at 11:10 am
@BAngB: That’s so sweet!! Have you tried the small foam water-bomb balls made for playing in a pool? Obv, we don’t get in the pool, but when my crappy aim is off on a throw nothing gets broken and they’re easy to bite into. We have SEVERAL dozen at this point.
July 10, 2008 at 11:11 am
@ MS Scarlet – yes I am guilty of the hotel shampoo/conditioner/soap thing as well. AS well as like 9 million of those crappy toothbrushes that they give you when you fly long haul. Although these actually come in handy when our friends sleep over unexpectedly after a long night of drinking.
July 10, 2008 at 11:12 am
@ hamburgerhotdog: So I’m not the only one! My in-laws are ALWAYS making fun of me for never being without lipstick or my beloved Burt’s Bees. Bastards!
July 10, 2008 at 11:17 am
@katastic: I think my drawer is a slight variation on that.
1) The underwear that I thought was sexy about five or six years ago – and they have been used so little that they haven’t needed replacing yet. These generally fall into what my friend calls the “oh god” category – as in the sound her boyfriend makes when she’s wearing them (and not a good oh god either). For example, one of my favorite pairs is of a mauve color that I find rather hilarious, with a keyhole in the back, with a large bow above. I wore them recently and the boy just laughed.
2) Horribly falling apart underwear. I used to have the middle category, but it seems the cosmic fates have aligned, and all my underwear is falling apart at the same time.
If anyone has any tips for good, cute, cotton undies, send them my way. I (and the boy) will thank you.
July 10, 2008 at 11:18 am
london_calling: all my underwear is from gap. i love it. they have all different cuts and they’re cotton and they last forever. I am a fan of the lowrise hipster. seriously awesome. and they always have some sort of by 5 for whatever you know what i mean?
July 10, 2008 at 11:19 am
I throw shit away. And sometimes I regret it when I can’t find “that sweater” later on when I think maybe I would like to wear it again. But it feels good when you let go of crap.
I’m not a packrat, I suspect, because my parents are a HUGE packrats, and I learned quickly that you can fill an entire house with stuff you don’t need. My parents filled our house and several outbuildings on our farm with junk. My dad is convinced that everything is an antique and will be worth some money if he keeps it long enough. And my mom likes to “make things” out of old stuff. And not like classic antique-y stuff. Like literally garbage. Rusted out tin cans, carpet scraps from the 70s, etc. I could go on, but I won’t.
July 10, 2008 at 11:23 am
I’ve got way to many t-shirts too, but my dad owned a t-shirt screen printing company, so most of them are crappy samples.
I’ve also got too many winter clothes. I live in LA, where the lowest temp is maybe 62, but I’ve got sweaters, scarves, woolen pants, and tights galore.
@katastic: it’s not just you. except, I’ve got almost ZERO sexy undies. Hmm…. got to remedy that….
July 10, 2008 at 11:27 am
– chap sticks: there is one within arms reach of me at all times. except, of course when i really need one.
– hotel key cards: this was something i started doing unknowingly b/c i travel so much but one day i realized i had been stuffing the damn things in a pocket of my suitcase and when i emptied it out the bag was 4lbs lighter. 5 years later it has become a morbid fascination/future art installation reason to see how many i can collect.
– gum: i am forever grabbing the latest gum flavors (Target always has good ones), chewing one piece, find it revolting and leave the remainder of the pack…..somewhere in my office.
– mascara: it’s just obscene the number of tubes i have, i am the Imelda Marcos of mascara.
July 10, 2008 at 11:29 am
@london_calling
yeah, my “category 1” undies are ridiculous and the phrase “yikes” and “trying too hard to show too much” come to mind. the little lace string that connects the back to the front can only hold in so much ass before its reached its tensile limit.
July 10, 2008 at 11:33 am
@Mayor: I’m with you. My mom has pack-rat tendencies. Whenever I get the urge to chuck, my mom always rummages thru my discarded items and finds a reason to salvage about 3/4 of it. She’s got enough clothes to fill her walk-in closet, the guest room closet, the coat closet, and 3 racks on the garage. When our neighborhood had a “dump your junk” day, when the trash company came by and picked up all out crap for free, my dad and I went thru our packed two-car garage and trashed enough crap to finally fit two cars in the garage. But my mother went thru the junk and packed most of it back in. She was trying to save crap like my high chair and crib because my cousin is having a baby and she might want them. Erm, yeah mom, she wants a 33yo baby crib. Right.
It’s maddening!
July 10, 2008 at 11:34 am
@nadarine: Aw shit, I wasn’t considering books. We have books coming out of our asses.
July 10, 2008 at 11:46 am
Thrift store earrings…like old lady clip ons from 1985 in hideous colors. I can’t help myself. I haven’t even worn most of them because I can never find the rubbing alcohol to clean them off when I need it. But they’re 25 cents so I can never say no because I love pretending I’m an old lady.
Also, I have all of my notebooks from college just because I threw away one ONCE and then really could have used the notes for a class I took the following semester. Glad those have stayed with me for 4 or 5 moves.
July 10, 2008 at 11:48 am
Oh, another good one is cards, mostly birthday and valentines I suppose. I always feel guilty throwing them away, especially the cute ones my mom sends me that are signed from their dogs and cats.
July 10, 2008 at 11:49 am
@ceegee: I just don’t tell my mom when I’m getting rid of things. Ever. Because I know it will make her foam at the mouth. :)
@nadarine: It’s freeeeeeing to get rid of some of the books. I swear! Back when I worked in children’s publishing, I brought home probably 15-20 new books a week. And it finally got to the point where I was stacking them in the corner of my bedroom against the wall. So I finally made a decision to find the ones I didn’t want a new home. I put them on Freecycle and they went to live with a 12-year-old girl who needed them more than I did. Freeeeeeee!
July 10, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Lizawithazee- your man and mine = separated at birth. Guitar magazines from 8 years ago. Can’t part with boxes (the kind stuff comes in, like coffee makers, etc), cuz, well we might move some day (over 13 years in our house). Has tee shirts from hs..he graduated in 83. He has at least given those to our oldest girl. Others are still in the two drawers of teeshirts in our dresser. VHS tapes that haven’t seen the light of day in 10 years. Every paystub he has ever gotten in his life. OMG, PHONES. WE MUST KEEP EVERY PHONE, whether CELL or HOME. The only thing I really have too much of? Boxes of Jello. Everything else, I purge to charity every 6 months. He keeps most of it in his man room too, or stored away in our “chokey.”
July 10, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Kadinsky: ah, yes. I was waiting for you to chime in with your mascara confession.
(“Mascara Confession” sounds vaguely like a rejected title for a Eurhythmics album.)
July 10, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Definitely beauty products. Lotions, body washes, shampoos, conditioners, gels, mousses, thickeners, curl enhancers – you name it! I see them in the store and think “I HAVE to get this, it will solve ALL my hair woes!” But nothing ever does, of course, and I get sick of things halfway through the bottle and find a bright shiny new product to try. I’m not proud of this.
July 10, 2008 at 12:20 pm
a few people mentioned almost finished makeup – i do that too.
but the big one for me is chopsticks. i have about 30 pairs, all different colors & patterns, for my hair and i end up wearing the same 3 in rotation every. single. day.
and i still buy more when i’m out and see some cute ones especially as chopsticks are cheap and i can easily justify it.
July 10, 2008 at 12:38 pm
@nadarine: girl, you knew I had to – i’ve made it past Denial, progess!
July 10, 2008 at 12:45 pm
@katastic: fuckin yes! i do that. except i don’t have enough room in my drawer for 3 seperate piles, so i put the 3s under the 2s and when it’s time to do laundry, that’s when they make it out.
@ineffable: do you have lowrise hipster bangs?
July 10, 2008 at 12:46 pm
@The Mayor of Bethville: Dude. Compost or garbage-dispose the cereal, or feed it to a pet (I choose options 1 and 3). Trash the liner bags. Flatten and recycle the cardboard boxes.
As for what I hoard, absolutely nothing noteworthy: makeup and books. I have a single cabinet for makeup and a single bookcase for books. I am unyielding in this, but oh, how it chafes. I want a room full of books and a closet for my beauty junk.
July 10, 2008 at 12:57 pm
I keep every single magazine I have. I’ve got at least a year and a half’s worth built up.
I, too, keep an underwear armory. Though last time I gave my room a good scrubbing I threw out bushels of panties. I called my parents to tell them, I was so proud!
I also hoard cookbooks by the dozen even though I can only make fried rice and spaghetti.
July 10, 2008 at 1:19 pm
@shana: My cat doesn’t like bran. :) I have nothing to compost, except houseplants.
My mom would suggest buying a bunch of marshmallows and making a giant mess of random cereal treats, rather than discarding it.
July 10, 2008 at 1:37 pm
@The Mayor of Bethville:
I’m constantly getting rid of things, too. Part of it’s because I grew up around all these awesome elderly people who grew up during the Depression and I loved them, but I hated not being able to get something without a bunch of other stuff falling on my head, and also because my messiness would be a huge problem if I had as much stuff as other people.
But there are still a few things I hoard, and for the most part they’re the only things that have a specific spot and are well-organized:
1. Handbags
2. Jewelry
3. Scarves
4. Boxes of blank notecards
5. Tissue paper, jewelry gift boxes, gift bags
6. Things I swear I will use to make art projects but never do: bottle caps and those cardboard rectangles you get if you order stamp books through the mail (like I had to do at my last job)
7. Those giant plastic jars the fancy nut and trail mixes come in at Target (I take off the labels and use them as a matching set of kitchen canisters for coffee, sauce packets, flour…)
And
8. Art postcards
July 10, 2008 at 2:03 pm
1) Underwear–I have enough panties to not wear the same pair for damn near a year. Oh, and some of them still have the tags on them. Yet, I still wear the same 5-10 pairs all the time.
2) Lip products–I have hundreds of tubes of gloss, lipstick, chapstick, pots of lip color, etc., etc.
3) Magazines–It’s gotten completely out of hand. I have vintage ones, ones I just like, some that I’m not sure why I’m keeping, but am too afraid to throw out because there has to be a reason for them. It’s insane.
July 10, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Old textbooks. I keep thinking one of these days I’ll get a real job and will need to refer to them. But then again, they’re totally outdated, so why bother?
My hubs is a total pack rat though. Yeah, I used to respect his stuff. After 14 years, not so much. Some things accidentally disappear when he’s not there.
July 10, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Always with the excess! I never hoard anything. At all. Believe me. I am nothing if not anti-indulgence.
July 10, 2008 at 2:44 pm
@SBJ: I saw that photo of those piles of clutches, woman!
July 10, 2008 at 2:51 pm
@Jewels: Old textbooks are NEVER outdated! My nephew was struggling with fractions, and I whipped out my old 4th grade math book and VIOLA! it was explained in simple terms he could understand. New math texts are WAY too complicated. Trust, I used to teach math.
I didn’t think about my vast book/textbook collection, because you can never have enough books.
July 10, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Books. I know, lame, but it’s bad. Really bad.
And I am with you on the tweezers.
And I have a lot of hair-ties.
And an insane amount of pens and highlighters.
July 10, 2008 at 3:38 pm
@ CeeJeeMcBeeGee
oops, didn’t mean to hit a sore spot. But yeah, that’s what I think, but the hubs disagrees. Then again, I’m the one helping the kids with the homework too.
Thanks for the ammo ;o)
July 10, 2008 at 3:40 pm
I have all of this stuff — books, lipstick, eyeshadow, magazines, postcards, cat toys . . . But I never considered it hoarding. I use it all! I swear! My father, on the other hand, has over 80 button-down shirts. When I was living at home, I would occasionally take one out of the dryer and put it in the closet with his lawn mowing clothes, only to have him tell me that that is one of his good shirts.
July 10, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Hairbrushes. I have a rotating cycle of losing a brush, buying a new one, then finding the old one, etc. I probably own 20 brushes. And pajama pants. Anytime any store has a sale on those, it’s a guarantee that I will buy a pair or two.
July 10, 2008 at 4:08 pm
I forgot to mention perfume samples. Ya know, the little vials you get from Sephora or whatnot?
I have waay too many. Especially since I don’t wear perfume. But I feel bad pitching them.
July 10, 2008 at 4:09 pm
@meghan2k, among others!:
Books books books. It’s a weakness, and I keep even ones I don’t like, knowing I’ll be able to refer someone to it. I have a room that’s shelved for all my books, but am moving soon, and have to choose which ones come along…perish the thought!
July 10, 2008 at 4:47 pm
@Jewels: Girl, I was jokingly mad. I feel you on the textbook thing… and old encyclopedias. I mean, I’ll be able to prove to my grandchildren that Pluto really used to be a planet!
July 10, 2008 at 4:49 pm
@The Mayor of Bethville: Damn. Well, I join your cat in wondering who DOES like bran? Life is too short. As for compost, all I do with mine is dump it on spots in the yard that need filling in, but my plan did presuppose yard and space for a compost bin….
July 10, 2008 at 4:52 pm
@hannahdonegan: Know any college girls? I dump perfume samples on my little sister, who picks out what she wants and leaves the rest in her dorm floor’s common room. She says they always go fast.
July 10, 2008 at 5:45 pm
Perfume, which is ok because I’m an addict and it does get some use. Panties, which is especially insane since I go commando 99.9% of the time. Books. Oh, and cheese – I always have a ton of different kinds of cheese in what’s *supposed* to be the vegetable drawer.
July 10, 2008 at 6:36 pm
You’ve hit on one of those “The way we live now” issues. Bathing suits. Effing, bathing suits. how many do we need. I think it’s a psychological thing – as we grow older our search for bodily perfection become more desperate
July 10, 2008 at 6:59 pm
@giftedtypist: maybe it’s because i HATE the way every bathing suit since age 6 has looked on me, but i only have one of those fuckers. and i don’t even buy a new one every year.
in fact, it’s not even a whole suit, it’s a bikini top and a pair of board shorts.
this has always made me feel as though i am the odd man out among my gf’s, when we go on vacay and every one has a different suit on every day except for me.
July 10, 2008 at 7:26 pm
BALL. POINT. PENS.
I hate the fuckers. But I have a shitton from work or from promotional things and can’t throw them away because they’re useful for doing the crossword in the inflight magazine. Except I never remember them and do it in gel pen and it smears all over my hand.
I’m also really lazy, so I have a surplus of magazines because I haven’t gotten around to recycling them. And I have four years of bills, bank statements and other sensitive documents because I still haven’t gotten around to buying a shredder and I always forget to lug it into work on SHRED DAY.
Actually, there are a few boxes that have moved from dorm-to-house-to-apartment-to-apartment because it’s easier to lug them around than to, y’know, go through and separate the good (postits!) from the bad (dried out playdo).
July 10, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Haven’t seen this one yet–camping gear.
Our little 800 sq. ft. condo is pretty clutter free, out of necessity (Two tall adults who work from home, a dog, and a baby live here).
BUT we’ve got storage in the basement and more blankets, sleeping bags, camping chairs, canopies, storage tubs of butane tanks and headlamps and tin plates and bug spray and tent stakes and plastic cups and water purifying tabs and coolers and inflatable mattresses…we love the feeling that we can leave on a moments notice and replicate our little urban rituals outside in the middle of Wisconsin or some such.
AND I have two giant ziplocks full of the roll-ups that take out places give you. We use our regular flatware and save all those for when we go–camping. Even though we also have a bag full of old flatware.
July 10, 2008 at 9:48 pm
@ angiessyounglover: ONLY THE BEST FEMINISM CAN BUY!
July 10, 2008 at 10:11 pm
@ineffable: i hear your lowrise hipster bangs bring all the boys to the yard, and they’re like, “my feminism is better than yours, damn right, it’s better than yours.” i could teach you, but, i’d have to…compromise your morals.
:)
July 10, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Ex boyfriends. Way too many, especially the crazy ones.
Also, wifebeaters. Sixteen identical white ones, and counting.
And, half empty anonymous food scraps in the fridge – too frightening to investigate true contents.
Oh yeah, bank accounts. Scattered across various countries. Great when you’re drunk and your primary account runs out and then it’s like “hell yeah! NY is paying for this round, and then we’ll sample Hong Kong”. Somehow they never seem to run out.
July 10, 2008 at 11:46 pm
@notaclevername: Yes! Pens! I easily have 50 papermate flexgrip retractable pens around here (black ink, fine point). Because I can never find one when I need it, and Office Depot delivers insanely cheap.
Really, I should just add “office supplies” to my list. I’ve been obsessed with them since grade school. The pens are a symptom of a larger problem.
July 11, 2008 at 9:51 am
@ CeeJeeMcBeeGee
Yeah, proving Pluto was a planet is cool.
I actually have a book that proves homosexuality is a mental disorder. That was my sex ed book my mother gave me, oh, 30 years ago or so.
Yeah, I can get rid of that one.
It’s really odd what you can read that WAS considered gospel truth in old books.
July 11, 2008 at 11:41 am
I have kept nearly all my clothes since junior high. Some shorts from grade school.
Vintage Purses I will never use or sell.
My homework and exams up thru college.
Old & broken cell phones.
@JustT PENS! At least two boxes and a drawer of freaking pens. Throw in highlighters I always hate using and tons of post-it notes.
July 11, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Kadinsky–I only have one, as well, and I’ve had it for two years. I didn’t realize people normally had more than one or two.