Yesterday, for a hot minute, my heart raced and shock came over me: Uber-hottie-damn-great-actor-best-Batman-EVER Christian Bale arrested for assaulting his mom. After regaining my composure, I realized that this must be a mistake. I communicated my feelings to a good friend, who agreed with my feeling of this being some kind of mix-up. We waxed poetic about his great turn in Equilibrium and The Machinist. We decided the news was wrong! His step-mom is the great feminist Gloria Steinem. There was no way our Christian was some sort of mom-abuser!!

We were proven right. Turns out Mr. Bale was defending his wife’s honor. His mother insulted his wife of eight years and he probably told the nasty bitch to fuck off!! A (hot) man defends his (hot) wife from his nasty mother. Could he be more dreamy?!?