Welcome to our Friday feature on BCP, “The Best Sex I Never Had,” in which we invite our readers to submit their most humiliating, pathetic, and just-plain-awful sexual experiences for public consumption.  Seriously, email us!  It’s like a group therapy session with 1,000 of your closest friends.  You’ll feel so much better after you share.  If you would like to contribute, see the rules for submission at the end of this post.


Today’s story comes to us courtesy of Medalofpetals, and may put you in mind of a previous tale, in which poor Mintie was subjected to some downright ungentlemanly behavior with regards to her ladyflower.  This week, the lovely Miss Petals indeed deserves a medal for her graceful treatment of an ungrateful college suitor.  As punishment for his infliction of insult upon injury, we recommend a bloody good slap upside the head.


Medalofpetals writes…


My worst sex totally had the potential to be among my best, and kind of was until the shit hit the fan or to be more accurate, the blood hit the sheets.  I was in college and having Sunday afternoon everybody-is-at-the-library-except-us sex in my boyfriend’s dorm room.  Everything about the sex was going gloriously for me, and then I had the realization that it was all just a little too wet down below.  I look down and, sure enough, I see little traces of blood on the dude’s stomach, my stomach, the sheets, everywhere.  I got really freaked out because a) my period was definitely not supposed to be happening and b) I had no freaking clue how the guy would react.  And react well he did not.


Before he noticed what was going on, I told him to stop, leave the room and give me five minutes to myself.  Of course this kind of freaked him out, and then he noticed the blood and really started to flip his shit.  I was already embarrassed that I got my period in the middle of sex, and then he commenced to humiliate me. 


He opened his mouth and out came this whole lecture on how this was totally unclean, unsafe, unhygienic, and um, my fault.  Yah.  And then he delivered the line that pushed me from humiliated to pissed off.  He said, “This is how people get diseases,” and then commenced to tell me that we would both have to go get tested for STIs.  Now, he was a biology major and I just a humanities major, but there was no way in hell he was going to convince me that my fucking period blood was going to give him a disease.  Fortunately, he finally shut up and got in the shower so I could, you know, plug up my vagina from leaking unclean, diseased blood.  I then had the pleasure of stripping his bed, washing his sheets, and making up his bed.


Did the fun end there?  Negative.  He sat me down to tell me just how disgusted he was about the whole thing, and how he was going to take himself and his precious non-bleeding dick to the clinic to make sure that my bloody little vagina didn’t give him a disease.  I made sure that he didn’t have access to said vagina for some time after that. 


Can you top Medalofpetals’ story?  Is that good sex compared to what you’ve been through?  If you’d like to contribute a sad tale of tail, please email:  tarred.and.tailfeathered@gmail.com.  Keep it short, sweet, and as explicit as you like.  Include your preferred pseudonym.  Please also be factual — this is not “Penthouse Forum.” And that’s it!  We can’t wait to hear the gory details, so get to it.  They’re posted in the order in which they’re received.