In the interests of inclusivity, I queried a few close male friends for their thoughts on safe sex, in a non-Cosmo way. The general response has been a little lackluster – HMMMM. However, my buddy Golddigger has come through with a couple of things that seemed worth mentioning. The first “naked and famous” opinion is this:

I think safe sex for guys is less important than it is for women. The scales are tipped and in practice it becomes a functionally female chore to deal with. Biologically, women carry kids and run a higher risk for bugs (salmon swim upstream, but the vast number of floaters just prefer to go with the… ummm… oh god… flow, except not THAT flow). Anyway, as a result, condom use is, was, and always will be something that women need to be insistent about. Yeah, there are some very responsible guys out there, but even they are probably coaxable to the contrary. To be frank, other than the one (or two) night stands I’ve been in, pretty much as soon as a girl said, “You know, I think its okay to go without,” I lost it faster than a prom dress.

So, condoms for guys are basically something we use grudgingly. I will say this for condoms: they deal with the wandering sperm problem, and the flustered rush to the washroom problem. On the other hand, there was this one time that my girlfriend’s dog ate a used one I had tossed on the floor. It really wasn’t all that big of a deal, until it rose from the asses like a mythological Phoenix in a crowded dog park the next day.

But that, like condom use itself, was her problem to deal with.


In my own opinion, condom use is as much a man’s responsibility as a woman’s, but I think Golddigger’s viewpoint is useful in highlighting that you can’t expect the guy to step up to the plate with the smarts. If this is something you feel strongly about, pre-sex, you need to keep your head screwed on enough to make responsible decisions for the both of youse. And, please, dispose of used condoms in a covered trashcan if you have pets.


P.S. It probably goes without saying that Golddigger is a Cat Man.