I love makeup innovation as much as the next person. Heated eyelash curlers? OK! Crazy-lengthening fiber wig mascaras? Sign me up! One-step, buff-on mineral foundation? Sure, I’m lazy and I’ll try anything! You wanna put LEDs in my lip gloss applicator? Fine. Wanna make a vibrating mascara wand? Sounds a little bit overkill, but I’m sure it won’t make you into Elle Driver from Kill Bill. Oh, but the eye patches, man! Think of the accessories! However, there’s a beauty shortcut out in stores now that’s making me scratch my head so hard I’m about to burrow a little hole into my brain. Basically Sephora has lost their damn minds.

After the jump, Sephora wants you to ask yourself……

…. Just how much DO you want to look like a chav? Or, What Would Katie Price Do?

Introducing new ColorOn Eye Envy! They’re eyeshadows! They’re temporary tattoos! They’re… Fugly!!

Seriously, if you can’t do a smoky eye on your own, without resorting to a fake rub-on kind, you shouldn’t wear that style of makeup. Smoky eyes are EASY, people! Besides that, they only look good on about 20% of the population (of which I am not one, smoky eyes make my look like Divine), so chances are you shouldn’t be sporting that look anyway. There isn’t a damn thing wrong with being a makeup-unskilled tomboy, y’all. Please do not cross over into the dark side. One-size makeup sticker does not fit all. Unless you really, really want to look like a Katie Price female impersonator.

Here we have the ultimate chav makeup. I don’t know what it is, but chavettes love pastel eye makeup. I guess it works as a complementary color to their Burberry tracksuits. But, I’m a little behind in my knowledge of chav color theory, so let me consult the chav color wheel: (click for the full glory)

Ok, see, the Burberry is right across from the pastels. Yeah. Looks about right. Do you concur?

OK then.

No. Just… No. See, the fact that I can’t even find a picture of Katie Price to go along with this one shows just how completely out-there crazy it is. If even the chavs won’t wear it, it’s too tacky. I mean, mayyyybe I could see drag queens sporting these to go with their Mardi Gras outfits, but that’s a fancy dress occasion. But, it looks like Sephora is marketing these to be worn out on a Saturday night, or any night, not necessarily October 31st. As much as I love a good hot tranny mess, I kind of can’t wait to see these lazy-ass, tacky, rub-on eye makeups crash and burn. And they will. Soon. So, ladies, if you think these eyeshadow temp tats will look good with your “Knacker Facelift” or your fetal alcohol baby bump:

If you want summa these, you better go get them before Sephora starts pawning them off on people as free samples.

TO THE CHAVMOBILE!

TO THE CHAVMOBILE!

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