Good Morning, Peoples – I am grumpy today. Mostly due to the unfuckingimaginable idea that #4 will be playing as a Buccaneer – a BUCCANEER – with all the headaches of Jon Gruden’s complicated ass playbook. Christ I’m hoping for a Manny Ramirez trade switcheroo here – Hi Raiders!

ANYWAY, let’s talk chicken here for a minute. I am hating on a chicken sammich from McDonalds, you may have seen it, I think they have been running an ad or two. They call it the ‘Southern Style’, whatever that’s supposed to mean (‘cuz I’m from the South and I don’t find it particularly down home as far as fried chicken goes) but it is a pretty good sandwich, when you get it in the morning that is. But after 10:30am? Oh HALE NO.

In the AM you get the tasty chicken patty on a yummy biscuit and it is GOOD. The biscuit has that buttery, full flavor and not only tastes delicious but smells divine as well. I wouldn’t say it’s a ‘flaky’ kind of biscuit, in fact I’m sure it’s probably the same biscuit they pair up with the other breakfast offerings, but my point is that the biscuit is a winner and really, if we’re talking Southern anything here what goes better with juicy fried chicken than a yummy golden biscuit?

But once the clock strikes half past 10 in the morn’ you get the PM version, which means they take the tasty chicken patty and slap that sucker on a plain ole’ regular HAMBURGER BUN. This is unacceptable.

Such a letdown! Not only does the chicken not even fit the shape of the stupid bun, but that damn bun sticks to the roof of my mouth in a most unpleasant way and who wants to go rooting around chipping bun plaster from the inside of your mouth when you’re trying to get your grub on?! It totally ruins it for me every time I have tried it. Compared to the delicious flavor pairing of the biscuit, the bun is just a distraction. Those lame little sad ass pickles that get tossed in there? Ugh. Does a disservice to pickles everywhere. And come on, MickeyD’s marketing people – you mean to tell me somewhere along the way you all didn’t get with the R&D people and figure out that your snazzy new “Southern Style” chicken sammich should get it’s own fucking bun?? You went to all the effort of rolling out a new product (which seems to be doing well) but then you slap it on the lowliest, fugliest, plain jane bun you got in the shop?!

Booooo, MickeyD’s – Boooooo.