Every now and again, rarefied gems of such exquisite hipster stupidity come along that beg to be shared with everyone on the internets. See: Cobrasnake, shirts with ironic sayings printed on them, Merkley (very fond of the topless girl hipster photo, that one), swapping STDs like so many Garbage Pail Kids cards in 1985 and, as ever, good old, trusty old American Apparel!

You may already know that the various blogs and bulletins hipsters post on myspace.com and the like are a veritable goldmine for this sort of thing. A treasure chest full of idiocy, trust fund baby spit-up and temper tantrums about how “this city will eat you alive and then spit you out” or “you might not see me out for a few nights because I am getting a REAL job it’s time to get serious about my life” or “my friends trashed the flat my parents pay for at last night’s after party, boo hoo hoo.”

Poor hipsters! It’s so hard on them, especially since, you know, they have no real friends.

Welcome back to But Enough About You…the hipster overshare portion of the week where my douche is your douche! It’s a Douchefest! A Douche-For-All! This week’s steaming pile of shit is chock full of bizarrely intense, bitter emotion directed at the closing of an allegedly beloved hipster club. It is rife with hipster drama. I have changed names to, um, protect the wee hipsters and club people. Pls. to meet THIS IS NOT A PUBLICITY STUNT:

First off, we have to say we are very distraught and disturbed over this –

Before re-starting the Crisco Disco at The Exchange many people warned us not to work with The Exchange – The owner there, Mr. So-and-so, has a bad reputation for fucking people over and now you can add THE WORLD FAMOUS CRISCO DISCO to the list –

Well I guess we are —- too crazy-too rowdy-too drunk-and bring in a crowd of low lifes—- etc — the list goes on and on —

So rather than play by their boring rules — we are closing up shop — taking a break — and figuring out what’s next for THE WORLD FAMOUS CRISCO DISCO

I realize we have quit before – only to return for one reason or another — this is not a publicity stunt —

We are leaving The Exchange – we are the first to go – soon there will be others – mark our words –

It may take months to find a new venue that can handle us – – – It may be years – – – but most likely we are taking a few months of to collect ourselves and then we will start looking for a new home

We might change our party to a monthly – quarterly – annual – ??? party – we are very distraught and disturbed right now but rest assured we will overcome adversity — will be back! – – – when the time and place is right – we will be there for you!

Keep an eye out for us – if you know of a venue that can handle a party like CRISCO DISCO – please let us know –

We will be posting best-of CRISCO DISCO pics all week long – to reminisce about the good times

We love the staff – security – management – etc of The Exchange – but the owner is living up to his shitty reputation and we are OUT – never to step foot in the VENUE again –

Sadly,

Crisco Disco

So, I’m guessing the club owner was fed up, but GODDAMN, Crisco Disco, get a hold of yourselves! Please use your wonderful imaginations to elaborate on the potential reasons for kicking a bunch of tantrum-throwing hipsters out of your nightclub in the comments!

In other news, I can’t tell whether or not this is a fucking joke, but I think there’s an actual organization dedicated to helping hipsters buy homes. Feel free to check it out for yourself @ http://www.myspace.com/homebuyingforhipsters. And then hold me.

*Contributed by SkinnyBoneJones*

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