Since nothing seems to get this joint hopping like talk of food and sex, I thought I’d try to combine the two. Tell your fellow Buttercuppers what your last meal would be if you were on Death Row and facing execution in the morning. And one more thing? Tell us who you’d order up for one last roll in the hay, celebrity or otherwise.
Here are my picks:
Grilled T-bone steak, garlic mashed potatoes, Ontario field tomatoes in season. Dessert: a huge hunk of home-made peach pie, still warm from the oven.
Carnal pleasure: I’d take a little Mark Ruffalo, please. Because I interviewed him once, six months after my marriage broke up, and my long-dead libido came rushing back to life to the point that I wanted to leap over the interview table and mount him as we flirted madly and he told me I looked like Michelle Pfeiffer and I knew, I just KNEW, that the guy would be hot in the sack. And, oh yeah, he reminds me very much of the best boyfriend I ever had. Sleepy eyes, sexy bedroom voice, smart, giggly, funny, clearly adores women — YES PLEASE, Mr. Executioner!
September 2, 2008 at 7:51 am
Hmmm … my last meal would probably be something totally unoriginal like pepperoni and mushroom pizza. (Boring, I know.) But for my carnal pleasure I’d take Colin Farrell … those sexy bedroom eyes and that intoxicating Irish brogue … oh my god, take me now!
September 2, 2008 at 8:46 am
I think I would eat something that made me think of better days. Probably chocolate chip pancakes with thick maple syrup and some super crispy bacon. And a piece of ice box cake with fresh raspberries on the side, because it’s impossible to find a bloody good piece of ice box cake anymore.
My bf is the obvious answer for round 2, but that’s kind of boring, so I’ll just go with Ewan McGregor. Most likely because he reminds me of my boyfriend. D’oh!
September 2, 2008 at 9:10 am
Holy cow, I love the Ruffalo.
Food: my mom’s baked ziti. We’re not even Italian, but it’s amazing.
Sex: David Duchovny. Still.
September 2, 2008 at 9:18 am
My mom’s chicken soup, or a taylor ham and cheese on a salt bagel (if I’m dying who needs to worry about the sodium!) and I’m a vegetarian so I surprise even myself.
The sexiness would have to be with Ewan McGregor and I would force him to sing to me about my eyes.
September 2, 2008 at 9:55 am
The meal is a no-brainer. Like errbody else, my momma has to come to the prison and cook my final meal (although, of course, my incarceration would have killed her): fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy, green beans, fried squash, Wonder bread, and banana pudding. In the alternative, Pino’s pizza.
As far as my last sexin’, I’m going to assume this does NOT include your significant other, and I’mma go with: Eliza Dushku. (Not who y’all would have thought, huh?)
September 2, 2008 at 10:21 am
Because I have recently given up meat, I would try to eat as much meat as possible. I would have the quarter dark chicken combo with plantains from Crisp & Juicy, The grilled fish platter with plantains from Roger Miller restaurant, a cheeseburger with hand cut fries dipped in vinegar from Five Guys, Orange Chicken from Panda Express, and my mother’s goat casserole (don’t judge me I am African) with kwanga ( it’s like really hard bread), ngai-ngai (a really bitter vegetable) and plenty of pili
pili(habaneros).
I would spend my last day with my sister, because I would miss her terribly. If my sister didn’t want to see me get the lethal injection (I am not down with the chair), I would spend my last day with David Beckham minus his vocal box.
September 2, 2008 at 11:47 am
My mom’s Saturday night meal, for sure. Her tomato soup, accompanied with homemade bread, good cheese, aioli, tomatoes, ham, thinly sliced roast beef and a big old glass of milk. For dessert, whatever my mama would feel like making.
Last shag: James Marsters, but as Spike please!
Also, I’m thankful I live in a country where the death penalty was abolished decades ago.
BAngie: Really? Huh. I can see that, I guess. She is kinda hot.
September 2, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Fried eggplant and tomatoes? a Thanksgiving meal? this is hard!!
The easy part: Joaquin Pheonix!
September 2, 2008 at 12:41 pm
@bangieb: ay pino, ya queer, quit playin; with ya pepperoni!
@haguenite: spike, mmmm, bloody hell yeah.
Last Meal:
– 5 soft tacos, minus lettuce from Taco Bell (whatever, i love it),
– with cinnamon twists
– a side of a slice of pizza
– with funnel cake and
– a cup of raw cookie dough
– and half a grilled cheese & tomato sandwich
– and a glass of Barq’s rootbeer to wash it all down
(the idea being to eat myself to death, so, you know, i could die on my own terms)
Last Sex (assuming sig. other not included):
– Alexandra Hedison
September 2, 2008 at 12:58 pm
Steak. Definitely. Medium rare, crusted with salt and pepper, something buttery on the side. French fries, really good, crunchy ones. Tomatoes from my dad’s garden with slabs of Parmaggiano and drizzled with olive oil. A creme brulee the size of my head. A really big bottle of red wine.
Taylor Kitsch, drizzled with olive oil.
September 2, 2008 at 1:15 pm
@AYL: Of course I’d imagine it like the first time he and Buffy get it on, when they quite literally bring down the house, not like the time when he tried to rape her on the bathroom floor.
September 2, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Hmmmm. Last meal? Harder than I thought! Either my mom’s meatballs and rice that she used to make when I was a kid or real Italian lasagna, the Tuscan kind with bechamel sauce and no ricotta. A really good bottle of Sancerre. The best cafe au lait money can buy. Chocolate souffle.
Followed by Rufus Sewell and his beautiful eyes.
September 2, 2008 at 2:10 pm
My last meal would be a chicken gyro from Kyklos in Vegas with tons of feta, a side of pita bread and hummus, my own chicken fried steak, my momma’s fried ham and for dessert I’d say some mexican hot chocolate.
My last sexcapade other than my husband would be Peyton Manning. MMM methinks he could be very naughty.
September 2, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Last mean? Probably something divinely Italian like 4 cheese penne pasta with Italian sausage.
Last roll in the hay (other than spouse): easy! Dave Mustaine! yummy.
September 2, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I AM REPLYING TO THIS ONLY BECAUSE I HAPPENED TO THIS BY ACCIDENT, AND I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN SIT AND ACTUALLY REPLY TO THIS TIME-WASTING NON-SENSE!!! WOW!!
September 2, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Sarrible: That sounds amazing. I would actually be happy to make THAT my final meal!
September 2, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Hey Angela: Piss off.
September 2, 2008 at 3:26 pm
Angela is just mad because not one person would choose her for the last sexin’ ever.
September 2, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Angela’s so angry she even wrote her NAME in all caps.
September 2, 2008 at 3:39 pm
This is easy.
Last meal:
-My mom’s Cornbread Dressing with Giblet Gravy
-King crab and Tempura Shrimp Brown Rice Sushi Roll
-Strawberry and Powdered Sugar-topped Funnel Cake from Six Flags Magic Mountain
-2 lb Steamed Lobster w/ Butter Sauce
-Personal-sized Round Table Mushroom Pizza
-a liter of Coca-cola
-Scoop of Baskin-Robbins Gold Medal Ribbon mixed with Ben & Jerrys Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough
-A slab of ribs from Woodys BBQ
-A #18 from Roscoe’s (one waffle, one chicken leg)
Last Screw: an Edward Norton and Nathan Fillion sammmich.
September 2, 2008 at 3:40 pm
ANGELA:
I AM REPLYING TO THIS ONLY BECAUSE YOU ARE A MORON, AND I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN SIT AND ACTUALLY BITCH ABOUT THE FACT WE ARE REPLYING TO THIS TIME-WASTING NON-SENSE!!! WOW!!
September 2, 2008 at 3:44 pm
you guys fuckin’ crack me up!!
omg, ceejee – now i’m starving.
September 2, 2008 at 3:51 pm
ANGELA’s also mad that no one taught her how to spell nonsense.
September 2, 2008 at 3:55 pm
And Angela’s so mad she actually did the nonsensical thing she accused us of doing.
September 2, 2008 at 4:01 pm
And what does ANGELA mean by “you people”?
September 2, 2008 at 4:08 pm
BAB: “What do YOU mean, ‘you people’?”
September 2, 2008 at 4:10 pm
And that, Ladies (and Gentlemen?) is what we folks on the interwebs call a “drive-by.”
September 2, 2008 at 4:11 pm
CJMcBG: “Huh?”
September 2, 2008 at 4:12 pm
@ANGELA: so, you’re saying your Last Sex would be CINDYBIN?
September 2, 2008 at 4:22 pm
Very good, AYL, spoken like a true smart-ass.
September 2, 2008 at 4:40 pm
Last Meal: Sirloin steak (well done), baked potato (loaded), Cheesy fries with bacon, Coca~Cola, and a big chocolate brownie with ice cream. (This meal can be found a a Logan’s Steakhouse near you.)
Last Bang: Vin Diesel (with a voice box – because I would want to hear him talk. You can tell he would give good dirty talk.
September 2, 2008 at 4:41 pm
@BAB… you didn’t see Tropic Thunder, I take it…
September 2, 2008 at 4:44 pm
CJMcBG: “Huh?” Is the next line.
September 2, 2008 at 4:46 pm
Fried chicken with lotsa honey mustard, mac & cheese, asparagus and hollandais, blueberry pie w/ice cream, wash it down w/coke and orange soda.
If my boyfriend couldn’t make it, I’d take Peter Krause in a heartbeat.
Can I have the sex first so I don’t feel so bloated?
September 2, 2008 at 5:56 pm
how can all of you risk the last sex of your life with an utter stranger?!
anyway, i want tapas. little baby mole cheese enchiladas, a tiny, tiny pork chop smothered in jack daniel’s sauce, some mini lemon-herb shrimp and chicken kebobs, hummus, mofongo, a kobe beef roll, something with peanut sauce and, um, a slice of NYC cheese pizza. I’ll wash it down with an entire pitcher of sangria. None of this should be cooked by my mother, she is terrible in the kitchen.
i can’t decide what kind of pie i want for dessert, so i will have to ask for a stay of execution.
September 2, 2008 at 6:17 pm
My mom’s chicken enchiladas with rice and beans. A huge container of gelato. And I’ll take a sandwich for my last sexing like someone sad above; Alexandre Despatie + Tyson Beckford.
September 2, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Hanger steak with tons of garlic sauce; paprika scallops with serrano ham; israeli couscous with pine nuts and tons o butter; grilled asparagus with balsamic reduction; elote; bouillabaisse; Adrienne Odom’s salty caramel and dark chocolate tart.
Last sex: if the boy is not allowed, I will pick young Mick Jagger. And if he wants to further revisit his youth by including David Bowie, I’m very ok with that.
September 2, 2008 at 7:11 pm
Last Meal: Chilean sea bass grilled with applewood, yukon gold mashed potatoes, grilled vegetables, artisian wheat bread w/herb butter, and Chalk Hill Chardonnay ’98. For desert: homemade chocolate ice cream with marshmellow fluff, dark chocolate chunks, and rasberry sauce.
Last piece of ass: Colin Farrell
September 2, 2008 at 8:20 pm
Oh my! I totally agree with Mark Ruffalo. But it would be a toss-up between him and The Rock. He’s just gigantic.
I’d eat a gigantic pizza and ice cream for dessert. And potato chips too.
September 2, 2008 at 9:20 pm
I am digging the sandwiches around here. Well chosen, CeeJee. And I think I forgot the brie in my last meal. There would be brie and it would be served on John Krasinski.
How did Angela from The Office find the Buttercups?
September 2, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Last meal: old, sharp grilled cheddar cheese sandwich on rosemary sourdough with tangy mustard and thinly sliced Macintosh apple. A good bottle of red wine. And Ewan McGregor drizzled in chocolate!
Mother, you have outdone yourself here.
September 2, 2008 at 9:59 pm
Yay – I’ll play.
Cheese dip from the Southeast (the white stuff with jalepenos), seafood gumbo (my recipe), chicken & sausage jambalaya (daddy has to make that) and my MawMaw’s buttermilk biscuits. I’ll wash all that down with margaritas so tangy they make your cheeks ache.
Then I’ll eat my warm apple crisp a la mode off of Gerard Butler’s stomach. And I’ll cut anyone that dares try to remove his voice box.
September 2, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Some sort of sushi from Sushi Gari with their miso sauce;bagel with whitefish, onion, cucumber, & tomato. Oh, and the hush puppies from a place that no longer exists in Tulsa, OK.
Can I say River Phoenix, while he was still alive?
September 2, 2008 at 11:50 pm
meal: baguette w/olive oil, good salami, and talleggio cheese.
other stuff: depp.
September 3, 2008 at 12:44 am
@BAB: Oh right! Sorry, I’ve got the flu and my brain is feverish.
September 3, 2008 at 12:46 am
Aside: Has anyone ever watched “Ace of Cakes” and thought: that cake looks really, really nasty!”?
September 3, 2008 at 2:21 am
@CJMBG Edward Norton is one of my irrational celebrity dislikes. I love Fight Club and know he’s talented but really, him? (arrested development, thank you) I reckon he has a mean mouth and WHO breaks up with Salma Hayek?
My last meal would be mangoes and avocados in season and custard in any form – creme caramel, icecream or bread and butter pudding made with chocolate croissants. Kill me, kill me now.
Last bang? Yeah, Ryan Seacrest. Haaahaaa – kidding. Ewan Mcgregor – you know where to find me.
September 3, 2008 at 6:33 am
Wow! Ewan McGregor got by far the most mentions.Truth be told, I had to really debate him versus Ruffalo. But I met him at the film festival last year too and he was little! Yes!!! Only about five-six and slight. Very nice, but did not do the sleepy sexy flirty thing like Ruffalo. Ewan was very professional, and my longtime hotness for him sort of fizzled out a bit because I expected more of a sexy bad boy thing.
Beautiful, though. Great smile.
September 3, 2008 at 8:45 am
@Trixie: WHY would you RUIN him like that for us ALL???? :SOB: Let me have my Moulin Rouge fantasy, please. ;)
September 3, 2008 at 9:31 am
Truffled Egg Toast from Inoteca
Extra crispy bacon
Well-seared but rare in the middle steak
My dad’s Mac and Cheese
Followed by Clive Owen for dessert (I can’t believe nobody has mentioned him yet…for shame).
September 3, 2008 at 11:43 am
Damn, I always forget about Nathon Fillion! Well played, CeeJee. If David’s still in rehab and I’m moments away from my death, Nathan it is.
September 3, 2008 at 11:46 am
Massive Southern bbq feast: pulled pork, ribs, mac’n’cheese, biscuits, peach cobbler, icebox cake. With lots of ice-cold Lynchburg Lemonade.
To be served to me in bed by Daniel Craig, if he can still move once I’m done with him.
(gotta eat the meal AFTER, ladies! or you’ll be too stuffed to fuck the guy’s brains out)
September 3, 2008 at 9:04 pm
This is definitely my kind of post! But I would definitely have to make it a whole day, not just one meal or boy!
The day would have to start w/ homemade biscuits (not too fluffy), ham, and red-eye gravy!
Then I’d have to have my way with Daniel Day Lewis (in his Last of the Mohicans outfit).
A mid-day snack of sweet tea, crackers, and pimento cheese to recharge.
Mid-afternoon boy toy would be Chris Noth – I’ve just got a thing for Mr. Big.
Dinner would be from this great little restaurant in Springfield, MA called “Fusion” – everything is tapas style. Wok fried calamari (calamari and banana peppers in General Tso’s sauce) and Cocunut Shrimp w/ a sweet dipping sauce that would then be spread all over the much younger young man I am currently “toying” with!
September 3, 2008 at 9:55 pm
MsScarlet, you are clearly a total whore.
September 3, 2008 at 11:53 pm
oh, Ms.Scarlet – I likes the way you think.