Every now and again, rarefied gems of such exquisite hipster stupidity come along that beg to be shared with everyone on the internets. See: Cobrasnake, shirts with ironic sayings printed on them, BANGS, auf’d condoms/swapping STDs and good old, trusty old American Apparel! The various blogs and bulletins hipsters post on myspace.com and the like are a veritable goldmine for this sort of thing. A treasure chest full of premium hipster idiocy, trust fund baby spit-up and temper tantrums. Here is where I collect the best of the worst and present them for your (dis)pleasure.

Welcome back to But Enough About You…the hipster overshare portion of the week where my douche is your douche! We’ve seen a lot of gentleman here lately, so I thought I’d bring us a little feminine energy this time. Now, I have a reasonably well-informed grasp on all manner of sexual fetishes, but I was rather stunned to stumble across Miss Marla Singer, who boasts “rampant intellectualism as a coping mechanism” and has a rather vulgar photograph of a woman being hung by her skin from hooks in her back on her profile page. Look, I get that there are plenty of people out there who are super into this kind of unsettling bloody torture sex and all, but a young hipster in an unfortunate Northern California suburb attending community college? Isn’t she a little young for that sort of thing? It concerns me. And how come people can’t just be satisfied with a little rough slap sex, anyway? Why must meat hooks ever be involved? I digress.

Here is more than you ever wanted to know about Marla:

You got your problems
I got my hash pipe

I like needles. I like blood. I like to get stuck with needles and then bleed.
Body mods are my religion.
I go out too often for the little money I have.
We probably met at that one place that one night, and I probably don’t remember.

And so far 1,239 people have thought my sex was gooooood.

IAM:Marla Singer.
IAM:N3rd g1rl.
IAM:Sex-positive and sexually open.
IAM:In love with half ginger boys =]
IAM:Shark obsessed.
IAM:Sucker for heavily tattooed boys.
IAM:Club kid.
IAM:Barely legal.
IAM:Violent sex.
IAM:Marijuana enthusiast.
IAM:Turned on by men between 10-15 years older than me.

I don’t take photos of myself. I dislike most people but I’m never mean to anyone’s face. I’m a club promoter. I don’t care if you think I’m just another hipster-electro club kid; you can suck my dick. I probably have better taste in music than you. I love Adult Swim.

If you’re reading this, send me a message. I love chatting with people. Especially about fantasy lore, WoW, Star Wars, and politics.
I know, I’m fucking cool as hell for all that.

I want someone with a split tongue between my legs.

Um, formatting hers.
Of course.
I feel dirty.
Let’s process together in the comments.
For the children.
Such as.

PS. Bitch HELLA takes photos of herself, ZOMG. What a liar!

*Contributed by SkinnyBoneJones*