As many of you know, I’m getting married in less than 20 days, and I’ve been doing the whole planning/obsessing pre-wedding song-and-dance for over a year now. One of the absolute greatest assets to my wedding planning has been the wedding blog/community of Weddingbee. Granted, I’m not a big fan of the whole Wedding Industrial Complex thing, or the happy-mongering, cutesy-poo attitude that usually permeates wedding blogs. However, I initially got hooked on Weddingbee because the wedding-blogging brides and grooms actually bitched about planning their shindig! The mere fact that they acknowledged that wedding stuff can really badly suck sometimes won me over with the quickness. Once hooked on the site, however, I began to notice the amazing amount of diversity represented in the Bees. They were of all different races, cultures, backgrounds, and many were in interracial relationships. It really was a breath of fresh air to see a site about something so mainstream as wedding planning present mixed coupledom as something so utterly normal, to the point of reveling in the hilarity that sometimes results from the crossing of cultures. However, the number one reason why Weddingbee won my heart is the inclusion of same-sex couples, and queer-friendly post subjects. I was so pleased the day Weddingbee announced the arrival of their first same-sex Bee: Miss Gingerbread. I’ve been gleefully following the deets of Miss GB’s wedding, and tending to the glowing ember of hope that same-sex unions are finally getting the recognition they deserve.

But, today’s news announcement on Weddingbee knocked the wind out of me like the underhanded gut-punch it is:

Weddingbee has been sold to eHarmony.

eHarmony, which is founded on Christianity and Christian marriage principals. eHarmony, which up until, like, THIS YEAR- 8 years after the launch of their site- started recognizing interracial love. Quick story: I signed up for a free trial of eHarm in 2006, just to see what it was about. I filled out my deets which included that I’d like to be matched with Hispanic or Asian, non-religious men. Who did they match me with? Evangelical Christian white dudes. Yeah. The dating site, as I said before, has recently expanded their matching algorithm to allow interracial couples. However, modern Christian marriage counseling is very adamantly against interracial marriage, to the point of discouraging mixed couples from marrying at all. What does this tell us:

1. eHarmony did not originally condone mixed coupling

2. They changed their business model to accommodate more types of relationships, even though it goes against their fundamentals. Which tells us:

3. eHarmony will compromise it’s beliefs for a wider customer base, and for more money. HMMMMMM……


Even WORSE than being racial separatists, eHarmony does not match same-sex people. Recent interviews with eHarmony reps have told us that the company has absolutely no plans to revise it’s business in order to include same-sex unions. They claim that it’s because their matching formula is based on research done only on hetero people, but really eHarm’s matching test is basically the Meyers-Briggs, which, um, has no innate discriminatory abilities for wheedling out people’s races and/or sexual orientations. As this blog post beautifully illustrates, “Algorithms don’t make racial distinctions or ignore people on the basis of sexual preference. They’re funny like that. But when you combine algorithms with an agenda, you’ve got trouble, or at least problems. eHarmony’s made one mathematical breakthrough: the discovery that persons inclined to interracial relationships actually exist and thrive in our culture, just like those inclined to single-race relationships.” So, the paper-thin excuse about formulas not working is as intellectually insulting as it is morally repugnant. Go Fish, you fucking bigots.

So, what more does this tell us:

1. eHarm are really bad liars

2. They will change their core values for a larger customer base and profit margin when it comes to matching differing races and religions, but for NO AMOUNT OF MONEY will it alter it’s business model to incorporate homosexuality. This speaks volumes about the company’s deeply-ingrained structure of hate.


Weddingbee is well aware of their new parent company’s stance, as the bloggers which make up 99% of the site’s content have not let that fact escape. The controversy among the Bees looms so large, they had to do a mammoth post about it. And yet, the sale went through anyway. If you read through the comments in these two WB posts about the Big Sell, you’ll also observe another disturbing fact:

Even with the corporate buyout, the gals who contribute ALL of the content of Weddingbee will not be getting paid for their services. Uh, not to mention, that the members of “the Hive” never have been paid. Only the owner of the site, Mrs. Bee, sees any kind of monetary compensation form the ad revenue- and she does not write hardly anything for the site. She gets paid, and the content comes from volunteers. Un. Fucking. Believable. So basically, what’s going on is that Mrs. Bee is getting a big, fat check from eHarmony, the Bees who do not approve of eHarm’s discriminatory practices can either leave (the best option, IMHO), or stay and continue to NOT get paid while eHarmony makes more of a profit from the site, which it will later feed back to MegaBigot agency Focus on the Family. Whoooooooooa, man. So, by extension, the bloggers of Weddingbee are engaging in tacit acceptance of eHarm’s policies, and also giving this corporation intellectual property rights to their writing which they are doing FOR FREE, and eHarm is laughing all the way to the bank. Wedding planning is the new King Cotton, y’all!

I think I’m going to be sick. Suffice to say, the wedding planning process is about to get way less fun. Thank god it’s almost over for me. At this point, I was only reading Weddingbee for entertainment. But, if you know of anyone who is planning a wedding, do steer them away from eHarmony’s new slave labor sites: Weddingbee and Project Wedding.