Happy Friday! This week on Sugar Walls, we take a look at one of the stereotypes of lesbians in today’s society. Read on as the dashing M shares her investigative viewpoint. ~Ed.
M: Given the current economic turmoil, one does not need to look very far to find someone displeased with capitalism! Still, try to think of better times, say 1 year ago when your 401K (or 403b) was worth 40% more! Lesbians are often stereo-typed as non-profit do-gooders who hate money (and by extension, America) and this post aims to determine if there is any truth in that stereotype.
Since I am on the other end of the money-love spectrum, I was especially interested in finding out why so many of my lesbian friends seek jobs in non-profit when Corporate America pays so much better (Wal-mart and the like excluded, these are women working beyond entry-level positions).
First up is Jennifer, who up until recently worked full time for the SPCA, and would supplement her income with dog-sitting or dog-training stints. Typical animal-hugging bleeding heart, right? Well, no, actually! Jennifer has worked for a well-known chemicals lobbyist company, and whenever possible, does freelance proofreading work for as much money as possible! Seen a Zune ad? She probably proofed it. What keeps her from selling out entirely? She likes the flexibility in her current position. Still, she thinks her set of skills and social awkwardness does not fit most of corporate American jobs, so it would take a large sum of money to sway her to accept one. Jennifer does admit, however, to not having shaved her legs in weeks (so there is THAT stereotype). But she stresses she loves America and would not move to Europe if given the chance, not even Paris! In your face, Johnny Depp!
Next up is Brenda. Brenda is a vegetarian who went to an all-women’s college and is in grad school studying Sociology. Typical lesbian socialist-ivory-tower-elitist, right? Well, no! Why does she do this? Well, because she wants to teach sociology for a living. I asked why not teach nuclear physics, or something inane for corporate America? She concludes that sociology is what is interesting for her. She asked what I would do for a living if I got paid the same salary as I do now, I said I would play video games in my underwear, which I feel is a natural answer for most people. Her response? She would teach! Those elitists! Always trying to help others and make a difference! Using her mad sociology skills, we looked up some figures on the percentages of men and women who work for non-profits: 4% for men, and 8.4% for women. Women are twice as likely to work for a non-profit corporation than men, and it just so happens that lesbians are women 100% of the time, hmmm.
One of our resident BCP lesbians says:
“I hate working for The Man. I hate it so much that I quit my lucrative job over a year ago to start my own business. I did it also so that the glass ceiling wasn’t hovering over me 24-7 as a reminder that, as a woman *and* a lesbian, I would probably have a really tough time cracking it. Starting your own business on the brink of a recession has been a challenge. All of that aside, I would love to work for a non-profit, but I have bills to pay! So I have tried to compromise by volunteering for a variety of causes, from breast cancer awareness to homelessness. Most of my free time is taken by working for various causes, which has been great because in addition to feeling like I can make a difference, it’s also been a great source to make connections and friendships with like minded folks.
Finally, we have a reformed commie-lesbian, Dominique, who is now working for The Man, but started out her career in non-profit. When asked about her original attraction to non-profit work, she states that at the time, she would rather “be making some kind of difference, as opposed to making some wheezing, golfer misogynist pig richer.” So true, so true. Still, Bill Gates make a HUGE difference, to the tune of tens of millions of dollars per year. Of course, in this day and age, we can’t count on all of our CEOs doing the same sort of thing. When asked about why more women are attracted to non-profit work, she hypothesizes that it may be due to how women are raised: “If we are coming from the context of nature vs. nurture, I suppose it is taught to us all from an early age to make sacrifices for others, especially if the sacrifices lend a nice, martyr-like glow to your complexion. We’re not taught, necessarily, that fulfillment comes from the same places that boys or men are taught.”
There were some complaints about the culture of corporate America- especially regarding men- fitting in and glass ceilings. However, that was not the primary reason any of the interviewees considered non-profit work. So it seems like lesbian hearts bleed at the same speed as any other? What about you? Lesbian or not, why do you go to work everyday?
ButtercupPunch - "La clique, c’est chic!" 
October 10, 2008 at 11:08 am
Nice piece, M!
I’m about to sound like a braggy biotch. But, I work in corporate, always have, and love it. The trick is to find a corporation whose mission and values you agree with. I loved working for Reuters, because of their neutrality in reporting, and I love love love where I work now (a publishing company that does amazing things for kids and teachers). So it’s the best of both worlds, really.
I volunteer and mentor and do other things too, but I’m constantly in awe of people like TheGuvnah, who make it their life’s mission to keep reproductive rights available, which is reflected in their career paths. I don’t know if I’ll ever work in a nonprofit – but I’ll always be volunteering for them.
October 10, 2008 at 11:25 am
I’ll probably always be in the non-profit sector. I’m a library employee (on my way to becoming a full-fledged librarian) and have no desire to ever work in a corporate or legal library.
October 10, 2008 at 11:39 am
By virtue of my chosen sector (the arts), I’ll probably always work for a nonprofit- unless I’m out in NYC, any performing arts presenting organization, large or small, will invariably be a 501(c)3. And with that comes tax benefits, but a possible lack of other benefits such as healthcare or 401(k)s. Ugh.
I have noticed that every nonprofit I’ve worked for has been staffed by mostly women- but I assumed that was just because we were better at our jobs than men. :)
October 10, 2008 at 11:44 am
@nadarine: but what if you made a billion dollars and used that money to start an art school or something? does that ever cross your mind?
October 10, 2008 at 12:01 pm
“In your face, Johnny Depp!” is still my favorite line.
Good job, sugar.
I don’t think “making a billion dollars” is a means to an end that many women consider, with regard to work – philanthropic or otherwise – that might effect change or make a difference or provide care or enlightenment for others.
That doesn’t discount it as one of several possibilities, though.
October 10, 2008 at 12:27 pm
Have you ever noticed that anytime you see more than three lesbians together, one of them is named “Brenda” or “Linda”?
October 10, 2008 at 1:02 pm
@BAngieB : do you live in a porn? I made up these names to protect the innocent!
October 10, 2008 at 1:13 pm
@M: I was just saying…I have found that to be true about 90% of the time in the South. There are a LOT of dykes down South named Brenda, Debra and Linda.
October 10, 2008 at 1:19 pm
I think Dominique nailed it with this:
“If we are coming from the context of nature vs. nurture, I suppose it is taught to us all from an early age to make sacrifices for others, especially if the sacrifices lend a nice, martyr-like glow to your complexion. We’re not taught, necessarily, that fulfillment comes from the same places that boys or men are taught.”
In fact, this is so concise and well-said I don’t really have a follow-up, other than women aren’t taught (in general) from childhood that providing monetarily for ourselves or our families is our principal responsibility. It’s a pressure much more commonly placed on men, and it’s not really fair to anybody.
I also appreciate her observation that the visible selflessness of such endeavors is a point of pride for a lot of people. And ain’t nothing wrong with that! But I DO like saying (and I think it’s true of many people), “Oh, I worked with disabled children at a non-profit” because I think it says something about ME (I would say this in a relevant context, obvs, not just pull it out of my hat to demonstrate WHAT A GOOD PERSON I AM). Anyway, it doesn’t detract from the value of my efforts, but I have to guiltily acknowledge that I think it puts some shine on my halo. Hmm.
And I left that job because I needed to pay the electricity bill, even though I loved it.
October 10, 2008 at 1:20 pm
@BangieB: don’t forget Sharon.
@M: if I made a bajillion dollars, I’d probably send it right back into the arts via donations to organizations I love. This is where “bleeding heart” does not mesh with “buy vacation home in Paris”.
October 10, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Well, like nadarine, I’m in the arts. I hope to spend a good portion of my career freelancing (ugh, taxes will kill me), but I would probably like to end up artistic director of a theater someday, so put me in the non-profit category. Especially since whatever theater I headed would definitely be all women-based and socially conscious, lil’ ol’ bleeding heart me.
But I don’t just do it because it’s non-profit. I do it because I can’t live without it. So there you go. My dayjobs are just dayjobs until I can direct full-time.
October 10, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Yes! The day job! Also, nadarine, you kind of nailed it. I *am* that lesbian: I want to have my cake and eat it, too. Let me write generous checks from my vineyards in Spain. Yes, please.
Now, how to obtain…and by obtain, of course, I mean earn.
October 10, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I really, really love corporate America. It is so wrong, but who gives a fuck? Now c’mere whilst I step on you.
And one more thing: some of us love working for the Man, some of us love working for the crunchy woman, but who loves working for the guvment? Come out, come out wherever you are, because I must know how you do it. I interned at a public utility, and I would’ve stabbed my eye out with a pen if I could’ve found the right form to request a pen from the supply room.
October 10, 2008 at 3:09 pm
@myrtlebeachbum : i’d like to be secretary of state!
but only after making a gazillion dollars as a corporate drone. i really do see money as an effective tool for getting things done, moreso than helping a handful or a few hundred via non-profit work. especially when a large portion of that work is gathering dontions.
October 10, 2008 at 3:20 pm
@M: I’d sit down for unilateral talks with you.
Sorry, Skinny! I can’t help it.
October 10, 2008 at 3:40 pm
@BAngieB: and for the man gays; Mark, Rick or Steve!
October 10, 2008 at 3:42 pm
@MBB: I know, darlin’, she’s irresistible. Carry on, it amuses me.
October 10, 2008 at 4:06 pm
I’m a full time student and part-time tutor for a private tutoring institute. They’re a bunch of greedy moneygrabbers who don’t pay me nearly enough but I stick around because I love working with these kids (entitled and spoiled as they are). However, I’m going to send out applications to schools and hospitals soon because of the recession. If your pension plan collapses and you can no longer afford your lobster dinners, what do you cut? That’s right, the 350 euros a month you spend on private tutoring. I fear my job might not be around much longer and, atypically for The Netherlands, I have zero job security. Working for the government seems like clever plan, it is where the money is.
So, do I want to do something that makes me feel useful? Yes. Do I crave job security and an income that will supplements my loans more? YES.
October 10, 2008 at 5:49 pm
@Kadinsky: You can tell by their track lighting.
October 10, 2008 at 10:25 pm
@myrtlebeachbum: ha! with or without preconditions?
October 11, 2008 at 5:21 pm
@M: There will be preconditions, during conditions, and a post-condition smoke.
*slinks away*
October 11, 2008 at 5:29 pm
I too hate working for The Man. I realllly hate being told what to do — it is my major character flaw.
But after many years of being told what to do in my profession and going along with it, bitterly at times, I arrived at a place where I was trusted and respected due to the fact that I HAD done what I was told for the most part. And so now “The Man” has given me a job where I pretty much decide my own assignments and do what I want to do. Occasionally I have to do as I’m told, but more often than not, “The Man” is delighted to have me telling him what’s up and what I’m doing. It is sweet, I don’t deny it, but it took some time to get here.