I did not actually get a sociological degree in pee, despite a recent post on Agent Orange (a thoroughly researched examination of Why Boys’ Piss Smells In The Morning, funded by Glade!).  But I have been musing on another facet of boy pee, and am very interested in what others may think about this.

To start, I had a boyfriend in high school and college who, I unwittingly discovered, peed sitting down.  His own mama was the domineering type, so I have little difficulty imagining her domesticating her boys in this fashion (as no boychild would make the decision, on his own, to pee this way).  I was initially weirded out that he peed like a girl, and questioned him about it (with my best “nonjudmental!” face).  He explained that he thought it was just tidier, as he never peed on the seat, swiped his peen with a tissue after usage, and avoided both a dirty toilet and that awful boxer peestain we’re all so unfortunately familiar with (I have also concluded that this is why most men don’t wear white undies). 

After this discussion, I started to think, actually, this makes some sense!  I’ve encouraged subsequent boyfriends to adopt the sit-down-pee, but they’ve really only engaged in it to placate me once or twice, and then I met with the inevitable resistance.  Only one boyfriend adopted it with any regularity, and that was after my twentieth hissyfit about going into the bathroom in the middle of the night and plunking myself down on wet urine on the seat in the dark room – NOT HAPPY.  Even then, I had to constantly remind him, because after 30+ years of pee-training, it was hard to learn a new trick.  The “wipe-with-tissue-after-pissing” recommendation has received wider acceptance due to pointed witholding of sexual favors.

So, most men pee standing up because they’ve been taught to and because they can.  Bully for them; what woman hasn’t yearned for this convenience, on an uncomfortable camping trip or in a desperate street situation, or even given it a (messy) shot?  But I think it is possible, if you started at a young age, to socialize a boy to pee sitting down.  Hear me out – would it not be reasonable, if you had a son, to teach him to urinate this way in the home, but pee standing up in social public bathroom situations?  (I have no interest in getting my child mocked or beaten by his peers).  Mothers of sons, what say you?

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