Every now and again, rarefied gems of such exquisite hipster stupidity come along that beg to be shared with everyone on the internets. See: Cobrasnake, shirts with ironic sayings printed on them, BANGS, auf’d condoms/swapping STDs and good old, trusty old American Apparel! The various blogs and bulletins hipsters post on myspace.com and the like are a veritable goldmine for this sort of thing. A treasure chest full of premium hipster idiocy, trust fund baby spit-up and temper tantrums. Here is where I collect the best of the worst and present them for your (dis)pleasure.

Welcome back to But Enough About You…the hipster overshare portion of the week where my douche is your douche!  Y’all, I am thrilled to present to you a REAL LIFE PHOTO that I don’t have to be all sneaky about posting! ZOMG! Aren’t you excited? I’ve been sick and busy and shit, so I apologize for missing a post or two recently. I missed you, though. OK, on with the douche for this week.

I’m really not sure why Jon Howard ‘s myspace quiz has made the news, but it has. At least in the Central Shenandoah Valley it has. The thing is, as our tipster Le Coop so aptly put it, Jon’s more DO NOT WANT than douche hipster, though he is trying ever so hard to be…badass. Sad sack, more like!

From the article:

Twenty-two-year-old Jon Howard moved to Staunton seven months ago after an apartment he desired opened up in the city, allowing him to leave Rockbridge County, where he said he needed to get away from “the drama.”

Howard said his impressions of the city so far are mostly positive. “It’s a beautiful place for tourists,” he said. “But Staunton needs more things for younger people to do.” Especially, better bars, he said. “Don’t make the restaurant (side) the primary focus.”

Without further ado, the too-good-to-be-true pic and scintillating quiz results:

Pets: A cat, Mistique, but I had to give her away when I moved up here.

Choose your last meal: A really good lasagna with a house salad and plenty of ranch dressing on the side, and definitely a Jack and Coke.

Favorite television show: “The 4400”

Favorite movie: “Pulp Fiction”

Hottest Hollywood babe: Amy Lee

What’s in your MP3 Player: Korn, Disturbed, Rob Zombie, White Zombie, Rammstein, Nickelback and Evanescene.

Favorite band: Evanescene

Most overrated band: Any boy band ever conceived.

Dream vacation: Touring Europe — Rome, France, England.

Favorite area restaurant: Wood Grill Buffet

Perfect pizza toppings: Pepperoni, sausage, black olives, onions and green peppers.

Favorite cereal: Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries

Favorite cartoon: “Futurama”

Favorite veggie: Broccoli with cheese

Favorite fruit: Banana split

Must-have snack: Snickers

Favorite author: Anne Rice

Favorite sports team: Green Bay Packers

My top questions for Jon:

1. Touring Europe? HA! Oh, sorry, the question part is this: Would you be touring with your awesome band? Pray tell!

2. What happened to Evanescence and who the fuck are Evanescene? I’m so behind! Amy’s totally the other Other Boleyn girl.

3. Who are you, Brad Zinn, and why are you indulging the douche? WHY!?

*Contributed by SkinnyBoneJones*