Oh my gawd, y’all!! Here I am, at my desk just minding my own business procrastinating the writing of some epic post by reading Ny Mag, and somebody sends me cookies from heaven. In the post I’m reading, the Fug Girls are giving the “get a new stylist, gurrrl!” pep-talking-down to Jessica Biel, and of course they have to go there. You know where. Down the hall, first door on the left, The Department of Redundancy Department. They say, “Look, we get not wanting to be known only for your booty (although if we had Jessica Biel’s butt, it would be hard to get us to put away the assless chaps).”

oilcloth_chaps1

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrgh!!!!! Noooooooooo! Please, people, PLEASE. Stop Saying “assless chaps.” It makes you look… not smart. It’s like saying “sleeveless vest” or “strapless bandeau” or “animal-productless vegan entree” or “DAIRYLESS NON-DAIRY CREAMER: NOW WITHOUT MILK!”

Thankfully, for once in my life, a commenter throws me a freakin’ bone:

“Chaps are inherently “assless”, that’s why they are chaps and not pants. If you are going to wear chaps, they look great combined with a shoe that lengthens your leg, so avoid heel-less flats. Just a suggestion.”

By Pants_Man on 11/06/2008 at 2:38pm


I love you, Pants Man. Please marry me. I’d like to be your non-single wife. I’ll be your freedomless slave. I’ll wrap you in cruelty-free faux furs. I’ll… do a whole bunch of other things for you that are exaggerated hyperboles.

Please leave your best and brightest redundancies in the comments.

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