The Best Week Ever Blog, general purveyor of All Things Awesome And/Or Disturbing, has really outdone itself today with this clip from The Doctors, some daytime television horrorfest with an equally bizarre gameshow jingle.  On today’s episode, the doctors and their professionally white-coated panelists discuss the dangers of soaking your tampon in vodka and inserting it for a quick, mind-blowing high.

Did you need me to repeat that?  Ladies, please don’t SOAK YOUR TAMPONS IN ALCOHOL AND PLACE THEM INTO YOUR VAGINAS (I assume this warning also applies to Bacardi Breezers!).  Seriously, kids, stick to crystal meth.

The Drs. Buzzkill are also anti-anal beerbongs.  Which is a total bummer (snort!), because what midwestern frat party is complete without a Coors Lite colonic? 

In other health news, heroin should be injected between your toes and not directly into the ear canal.  Consider this your Monday PSA.