I am having a shitty week, y’all.  On Monday I had to have a mammogram because I found a lump a few weeks ago, and if you’ve not yet experienced this joy let me just tell you, having your tits hefted, squashed, marked on, imaged and squashed some more is not a nice way to start the week.  Especially if you happen to have tig ole bitties like I do, although I don’t imagine the experience is any less uncomfortable for small breasted women.  After the Mash-n-Press to my rack, I got to have the girls ultrasounded for good measure.  This part was much easier to get through, although it was done twice by two different people and both times the nurse squirted me in the face with the ultrasound jelly.  Um, thanks for warming it up?  The good news is that everything was fine and the lump was determined to be a swollen milk duct, which my doctors assure me is no cause for concern.

Yay for that because my hormone levels probably would not have allowed me to display any civility to anyone otherwise, seeing as how my period refuses to sync up with my NuvaRing.  Instead of having my period during the week when the ring is out, mine wants to be a little bitch and show up 2 weeks earlier.  And that’s just too many fucking things in my vadge at one time, yo.  On top of this the cramps that I normally never suffer from have been threatening to cause me to whip off a heel and break someone’s face with it.  Why the face?  Oh, well that’s because my own face is under siege from an acne breakout that I fear will never end.  As someone who hates to wear heavy, dulling foundation I’ve been literally plastering concealer on every morning and pretending it doesn’t actually make me look worse.


But, the weekend is here and I only to have to get through one more week and then I’m taking off the week of Thanksgiving — after that it’s three short weeks until Christmas vacay and then I’ll be counting down the days until the beach mini break Mr.K has promised me in February.  Now, please excuse me while I get shitfaced and browse lolcats.