Given what a hot-button issue pastries are around here, I’m not going to divulge where I stand on the cake vs. pie debate. However, I will

pancakepic say that when it comes to makeup, the word “cake” is a dirty one…

 

See, nobody (save Dita von Teese) likes old-school pancake foundation…

 

 

Pancake is great for theater, not so great for everyday

 

And then there’s “frosted” lips…

 

lips

My favorite name for this is still courtesy of Moe Tkacik’s mom: Sperm Lips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

and then there’s the term “caked-on”, to describe makeup applied with a trowel…

 

xtina-caked-on

Ahhh, the always MAC-plastered Ms. Aguilera. She’s totally my old standby when it comes to illustrating a don’t.

 

 

However, if you’re having trouble keeping your makeup in place all day, you may want to make like a cake and….

 

Layer.

 

layercake

 

Meaning, begin by applying wet or creamy cosmetics and set them in place with a powder in a corresponding color. Maybe it’s because layering is the first thing they taught us in Theatrical Makeup class in high school, but this is one piece of makeup know-how I always took for granted. I thought everyone knew to do this. However, the 10 or so episodes of What Not to Wear I caught this weekend (I was home sick, people) told me otherwise.

 

 

carmindy

Oh Carmindy, doing the same natural face week after week must get so boring. Patience of a saint, this one. When she dies, I’m submitting her for consideration to the Vatican. Given the PR nightmare that is the Catholic church, they’ll saint anyone these days…

 

Carmindy covered this with every single makeup-inept butt in her chair: Start with light, liquid foundation for a youthful glow. Stipple it on w/ a sponge to cover any discoloration. Set with translucent- not colored- powder, to avoid looking “cakey”. Apply neutral-colored liner (for most people this means gray or brown, Carmindy rarely lets her peeps wear black liner) with either a soft pencil or angled brush (go for the brush, always) and set by sweeping on an eyeshadow in the same color. Next, she filled in brows with an angle brush and powder, used shimmery, light shadows to highlight the inner corner of the eyes and underneath the browbone, applied black mascara, brushed on lip gloss in a color similar to the subject’s lips, and finally swept on some blush. Applying blush dead last is a great way to avoid overdoing it, as the whole rest of your face will be done, you’ll be able to better gauge how much blush you’ll need (it’s usually very little).

If the above sounds ridiculously easy, that’s because it is! Really, Carmindy is right on the money. Makeup should enhance your look, not seek to change or cover anything up, layering really does soften the look and keep makeup in place, and an everyday look should only take 5 minutes. Really, if you have no clue how to approach makeup, do tune in to What Not to Wear and watch Carmindy go. After a few episodes, you’ll see that it really is the same thing over & over & over, but in this case, one-size-fits-all is not a bad thing.

 

Siiiiigh, I couldn’t explain it better myself. Except that I totally would attempt to explain it myself. Long ago, I dreamed of adding makeup instructional videos to the lineup here on BCP. I bought a Flip video camera and everything, before I remembered that my Mac is a dinosaur and can so totally not handle video editing. The thing can barely manage to run Photoshop. Siiigh. So, maybe if Santa brings me a MacBook Pro for Christmas, I’ll throw my hat into the ring to try and out-makeup Carmindy. But for now, I must bow to my sensei. Currently, I am unable to snatch the bean from her hand. But someday…. The student shall become…. The teacher!*

 

*please forgive my ramblings. I’m terribly hungover. Anyway, make the world a prettier place in the comments. Feel free to ask makeup questions!!

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