In case you are blind or not that great at picking up on themes, we here at BCP are not getting enough sexing. Well, perhaps one of us is (Feather, that whore) but the rest of us are comparing notes on just how bad off we are in the McLovin’ department. (See abundance of sex dream/celeb posts).
It seems as though every conversation I recall having lately involves sex. I’m serious, hookers – it’s all I can do to focus in yet another dull ass meeting because all I can think about is SEX. Sex with people I know, sex with people I don’t know, sex with people I used to know, sex with people I wish I never knew. Even bad sex is occupying my thoughts lately, such as when I ran into someone I used to do the horizontal mambo with last week who is now older and…..bloated. Ick. Anyway, the sexploitation of my thoughts continued last night as I was watching The Wire.
I recently started re-watching The Best Show On TV Ever (aka The Wire) from the beginning, having converted downloaded episodes to be watched on my Blackberry Storm (about the only thing I really like about this goddamn phone, but more on that later) and whereas before I used to have fantasies about Stringer Bell’s bad ass givin’ me what I need, I am now having sex dreams about almost every cast member, ahem.
*Please to excuse my descriptions and assessments of the characters these actors play as real persons. I know they’re not real but if you’ve ever seen this show then you know why it’s so easy to believe they are.
**Oh, and also be forewarned that some of my dirty dreams will be mentioned below. TMI at your own risk.
Wee-Bey: Wee-Bey is so bad, y’all. He’s a thug, he’s a killer, he’s a rapist and a murderer. He ends up in the penitentiary, which is precisely where my violently hot dream takes place. Ooooooh, those cold, hard, steel bars…….
Rawls: Damn, this is one unpleasant man. Always getting in McNulty’s ass and never does anything for anyone that doesn’t benefit him first. But you know what? The man TAKES CHARGE, asshole or not and that is hawt. (Bent over his desk, natch).
Daniels: Daniels doesn’t really get me going, but I really love to hear him speak. I know, it’s weird. It’s something in his inflection, the way that sounds roll off his lips. I really like it when he talks to me on Fringe, as well. (Lips – ’nuff said).
Herc and Carv: Ahhh, the HBO fellas. Domenick Lombardozzi who plays Herc also plays Dom on Entourage, and Seth Gilliam who plays Carver also played Clayton Hughes on Oz. Funny enough I don’t care for their characters on these other shows, but I am in love with them on The Wire. Herc is dumb, but he’s big and dumb – and who hasn’t boffed a big dumb guy? It’s fun and it’s satisfying. Carv is a smartass who makes bad decisions but he really tries to do the right thing. Plus he has a great ass. (Both of them in the back of the police cruiser, with a nightstick for leverage).
Kima: Oh, dog. I’ve always thought Kima was one bad ass bitch but gawdamighty, she is kick ass. Intelligent, savvy and graceful – even during the beatdown of a handcuffed subject. (At her place, with her handcuffs).
Bodie: Yeah, he’s young, but I don’t care. Also an HBO regular (played Kenny on Oz) and superb as Pit hustler Bodie. He’s smart and aware and I always root for him. (Bit tame this one, grassy field with no-one around for miles).
Omar: Omar! Dude, Omar is so gangsta he makes me wanna bow down. Again, powerful and commanding plus a bit of scary for good measure. (Dark alleyway against rough bricks).
Bunk: Awww, Bunk is a new one for me. The first time I remember seeing this guy was in Waiting To Exhale as the guy Lela Rochon gets with when she finally leaves that triflin’ Russell. I didn’t like that character very much and always thought he was kinda douchey. But Bunk is the man. His sarcasm is hilarious and his drunk-y dialogue and leering at various one nighters makes me want to take him home and let him play motorboat. (On top of a bar after closing).
Stringer Bell: Really now, what do I need to say? Stringer is fiiiiine and ruthless and he always gets what he wants. That scene where he unzips Donnette’s track suit or whatever? Yup. My zippers are defenseless when it comes to Stringer. I even watched that damn Hillary Swank movie The Reaping just because he was in it. (Courtroom, high rise office, random bedroom and in judge’s chambers.)
Which brings me to Number 1 in the spank bank rotation this month, Detective Jimmy McNulty.
McNulty: So cute, so quick, so inquisitive and such an asshole. Knowing it would be a bad move I would open the door at 2am for McNulty anyday. For a while there I was hating on DA Rhonda just for banging him, but I’ve moved past that. (Ummm, McNulty has been given an all access pass to my sugar bowl. If you can imagine it, we have done it.)
Desperation is not a good look for me, I need some action STAT. Feel free to tell me how pathetic I am in the comments.