So the hottest repairman I have ever seen — I had serious porn movie fantasies — showed up today and set me up. Now I have a fast, uninterrupted connection and the hottie was even kind enough to make sure my non-Comcast wireless router was configured properly and that I had set my son’s XBox360 with no problems. LOVE HIM! Love him so much that I gave him brownies hot out of the oven and a cold bottle of water. LOVE COMCAST!

Then I got a call from Ms. Looper, asking if everything went OK. I didn’t have time to call her back, but I will shortly. Because what am I doing right now? I am on endless hold with Verizon, waiting to tell them that yes, their crap service finally forced me into the arms of another suitor.

Comcast? I love you!