When they came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.

When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.

When they came for the French sheep’s milk cheese,
I was all, “Aw, hell no, that is just ri-fucking-diculous.”



Yes, this man is an eater of kittens, intentional melter of ice cream at a kid’s birthday party, mocker of cute disabled grandmas, killer of rainbows, general enemy of happiness, and total elevator-farter.

The whole cheesy mess, after the jump.


In a move designed (probably) to fully cement his status as the dickiest dick who ever dicked-over the American people, The Greatest President in the History of the World EVER has, like, the second before he walked out of the door to the Oval Office for good, imposed a 300% tariff on Roquefort cheese. Why? I mean, really, WHY? To rain on the glorious parade of HOPE that all of those elitist, Chardonnay-drinking, Brie-eating liberals are currently enjoying? To stick it to those uppity French? Oh, Bushie, how very 2001 of you. “Freedom Fries,” anyone? Just because France didn’t want to get involved in the disgusting game of Risk you were trying to play with the entire world, you go and throw a tantrum like the bratty, immature child you are and start imposing riridiculous tariffs on their Stateside imports? Ridiculous. And anyway, wasn’t the implementation of unfair taxes by a tyrant monarch the whole catalyst for America’s existence as a country? HMMMMMMM…. I love this bit here:




“In the United States, the phrase is used in Washington, D.C. as part of the campaign for a vote in Congress. In November 2000, the D.C. Department of Motor Vehicles began issuing license plates bearing the slogan “Taxation without representation”.[3] In a show of support for the city, President Bill Clinton used the “Taxation Without Representation” plates on the presidential limousine; however, President George W. Bush had the tags replaced to those without the motto shortly upon taking office.”


OK, I know that what I’m talking about with the cheese is not exactly the same thing, and probably a bit of a stretch, but even so, the man is a fucking lunatic. Good riddance. Now, I really have no dog in this fight as I am not a foodie, nor am I a restaurateur, nor am I even a Roquefort enthusiast. Full disclosure: I hate the stuff. I had to taste my share of it during my stint working at 4-star dining establishments, and to me it is right foul. I find it has a gritty, grainy mouth feel not unlike baking soda toothpaste, it does not melt well, and the taste (to my admittedly untrained, not-a-big-cheese-person palette) is best described as “rotten bread.” Or, like, “Miss Havisham’s wedding cake”. Or, probably, “Matthew McConaughey’s dick, during the filming of Surfer, Dude.”




But even so, I would never dream of stripping away other people’s access to a food they enjoy. Uh, unless that food is Durian, but that’s a whole other can of worms. The point is, that unlike the many unsafe Chinese imports flooding the country’s Wal-Mart shelves, we don’t have any real enemy in French goods. If anything, we could stand to learn a few dozen things about eating from our neighbors in the EU. This post in HuffPo about the Roquefort kerfluffle is especially inspiring: 


Any of you out there fans of the green-flecked cheese? What do you think about this mess? I think, although this tax will surely be overturned by the new prez, we should all march into Texas with torches and pitchforks on principal. Let them eat cheese!!