Hi there! As you all know, I recently moved to NYC (Brooklyn, yo, can I get a shout out for the 1-1-2-3-2!) (no, I can’t rock that, sorry) from the most soul-sucking place in America – Memphis, Tennessee. Now, I didn’t grow up there, I grew up in Northeast Arkansas, which, though backasswards, was mostly a lovely place. I don’t really know how to live anywhere but the South, and I miss a lot of stuff about home. (Where is my fried chicken and banana pudding? I need casserole! Boys drive trucks and know how to fix shit! Air conditioning! Walk-in closets! Grass! TWO bathrooms!)
I am constantly aware of how different life is here – don’t get me started about all the schlepping and the no car and the no place to store anything – and how different the people act and interact and react. I’m gonna start sharing some of these things with us all. In the meantime, if y’all have any questions for me about this stuff or about manners or how you are SUPPOSED to act, send ’em in.
Anyway, I’m mostly settled here in the big city, but there are still some things I don’t know about my friends and some things I just don’t understand about living here and about city people. I have devised a little questionnaire for those of us who live hereabouts and I hope we can all learn something from each other. I went ahead and asked everyone the questions before sharing them with you all, because I am still not sure about shifty city people copying each other’s answers.
So, here we go, 17 Questions for You City People: First up is AYL (I was going to share London_Calling’s answers first, but AYL offered to makeout with me, and that will get you a long, long way around my house).
How old are you? 20 years old, dammit
Did you grow up here or move here? When? I grew up in JERSEY. Just moved here two summers ago for college.
Neighborhood? Current? Kips Bay/Murray Hill area
What do you do at your job? I walk puppies! Chloe and Hoser are my source of income and I’m not ashamed!
Who is the most famous person you have seen randomly? Alright, randomly? Because I may or may not have seen celebrities at places I may or may not have been tipped off about. Anyway, the most famous random celebrity encounter would have to be Annie Lennox at Old Navy.
Do you know how to cook…if so, do you cook? I can hold my own in the kitchen and, yes, every now and then I actually put metal to burner.
What is the first clue someone is a tourist? They’re screaming “3 minutes until the boat leaves, guys. 3 minutes!” with a fanny pack, baseball cap from Camp Niagara Hills, and camera. This is a real description.
I had to wait for a second train this morning because there were so many people on the train…DON’T THEY KNOW WHO I AM? Apparently they don’t. Everyone is self-aware, but that’s about it…especially in the mornings.
In the South men carry wallets, but here they carry purses. What’s up with that? I assume you’re talking about “murses,” better known as “man purses” – the cross-over-the-shoulder bag? As far as I know, those are for work…I’ve never seen a man carry that to, say, a restaurant. But to answer your question, I would say, here men have to hoof it everywhere. I’m assuming the men down South can throw whatever they carry with them on the front seat of their 4x4s.
What is your favorite covered dish? Before I met you, eggplant parmigiana. Now, hashbrown casserole. And thank you.
Booze, pills or weed? Booze.
I keep seeing people with “The North Face” on their coats. What is that? Yeah, I don’t know. Apparently it’s a big sporting good/outdoors apparel brand. Don’t ask me, I like facing Southward…
In the South we go to church on Sunday morning. What do you do? On Sundays I usually lie to the person I’m supposed to go to church with so I can stay in bed with you all day. Other Sundays, I go to church.
What is your favorite place to go/thing to do in the city? I love strolling around the West Village on warm, breezy days, perusing the magazine vendors old fashion magazines (seriously, if you look hard enough, you can come across Vogues from the early 90s.), then going over to Joe’s Pizza on Carmine Street – getting a seat on the bar by the window that faces Father Demo Sq. Park. If I still have some cash flow left, I head to Pasticceria Bruno, an Italian bakery on Bleeker that has good gelato and delicious pastries. That is a good day in my book. All week I have to do this or go there, that when I’m cut loose to just wander and stroll…it’s so nice.
What is the air speed velocity of an unladened swallow? Yeah I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I swallow, yes.
What is your favorite Lindsay Lohan movie? I would, hands down, say “Bobby” because it shows her the least. [I’m breaking up with you, because there is NO UGLY TALK ABOUT MY PRETTY, PRETTY GIRL – B]
And, lastly, cake or pie? Motherfuckin cake [Too late. I’m still mad about the previous question -B]
I would like to say that only one person got the last question right. Only one. We will share her answers next week.
And, friends, a covered dish is what you take to someone’s house when a family member has passed, or what you take to church on Sundays when there is gonna be a “potluck lunch” or, as we call it, a “covered dish dinner”. And Myrtle, please give an example of a covered dish each week, as you and I know a lot about it, cause this is what we are gonna look like it 20 years, that’s me in the front, and you in the white twin set.