the-9th-annual-masturbate-a-thon-nsfw.3342935.36Last Saturday in the city by the bay where all the fun shit happens, the 9th Annual Masturbate-A-Thon was held.  I totally did not get my invite in the mail, AHEM.  Anywhooha, the event was held at the Center for Sex & Culture and was won by Masanobu Sato of Japan.  And what kind of wanking does it take to win such an award you ask?  Why, it takes NINE HOURS of gherkin jerkin’ to cum in first place!  Nine hours and 58 minutes, to be exact.  Sato beats his previous winning time of nine hours and 33 minutes, so we know someone has been practicing.  According to his interviews, the Champ prepared for his beat feat thusly:

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My abundant imagination was a key to my triumph firstly. Secondly, I trained a lot in Japan from the time I won the 1st prize last year. I swam twice a week, and gained about 5 kgs in muscle.That helped me a lot, too in terms of stamina. Thirdly, the variety of sensations each TENGA gave me was ideal for long masturbation. Without those variety sensations, my dick would feel the same sensation for a long time, which would paralyze my dick in the end. I use as many as 10 different TENGAs so that my dick avoids being paralyzed.

The TENGA he refers to is some Japanese jack off gadget he used to sustain his record setting erection, but he also apparently works for the company so I call shenanigans.  He totally cheated!  He’s had that thing configured for his optimal pleasure!  Let’s see him go 10 hours with some spit and stolen Skinamax and then I’ll be impressed.  Better yet, let’s give him one semi working tool and a boatload of far off fantasies and then he’ll know how I feel.  Moving on!*

And this is why I love San Fran so much, because not only do they hold fun and affordable Saturday afternoon festivities such as this, but you get ladies working together to hit their goals.  These are the lovelies from Team Lusty Lady, who formed from an “erotic dancing co-op” down the street.  A CO-OP.  And here I thought co-ops were just spazzed out, boring hippies who share each other’s dirt, who knew?

the-9th-annual-masturbate-a-thon-nsfw.3342915.36

See the purple/blue one?  That's a SaSi and SO worth the money!

See the purple/blue one? That's a SaSi and SO worth the money!

I spy with my little eye......a whole lotta Japan's finest.

I spy with my little eye......a whole lotta Japan's finest.

If I had to be a fly on the wall, I'd be a San Francisco fly...

If I had to be a fly on the wall, I'd be a San Francisco fly...

More pics

*Honey, you know I’m just kidding.  It was only that one time and you ate a big meal beforehand so…..

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