Last night I suffered through 28mins of Joe ‘I Will Always Be In My Daddy’s Shadow’ Buck’s live show on HBO. (Yes, I know how you feel and weed is great for nausea, pass it on). And for my trouble, I got to hear my #1 Big Daddy Brett Favre telling me how entirely unimportant all the hoopla surrounding him is, and he’s right. I don’t think I’m even mad, that laconic drawl of his makes it all so blase. He basically said his past achievements and record breakers will always be just that, that it’s only football, that it would be a good fit for both his skills and his goals (to play in MN), that time heals all…..and that if Vince Lombardi did it, so can he. (Hello ballsy!)
And really, who can fuckin’ argue with that? Playing for the Queens will give Favre the one thing he’s never had, an all star running back and a dominant defense at the same time.
But still, it doesn’t feel right and it makes me sad. There are not many things I can’t find a way to handle, but watching my Big Daddy play in a purple jersey is one of them. Le sigh.
But one thing is for certain – without a doubt, no question, hells to the yes and fo’ sho’ – Joe Buck needs to be taken off the air immediately, for the love of god, people! There are whole wings of decrepit, drugged up seniors and legions of dinner theater patrons just begging for someone of Mr.Buck’s wit and timing to drag them to their excruciating deaths. Go, Joe! No really, Joe, GO.
The only entertaining part of the show came after 48mins when Artie Lang starts swearing for the fuck of it and Joe launches daggers at him from his fivehead and announces that his first show has been ruined. “Please sir don’t smoke that!” And then there was a hug? Followed by the douchiest teenage snapshot ever and finally, a closing of Joe puking up words that make you want to pound his balls like they do to Bond at the end of Casino Royale. So yeah, you didn’t miss anything.