madbaby

I am going to have to go back and watch all the happy, pick-me-up movies you guys suggested in Tailfeather’s excellent post, because today people are pissing me off.

Things that annoyed the crap out of me today:

1. Another lost pair of expensive tweezers. I loved these ones and they were pricey. I had them ONE DAY and now they’ve vanished. Somewhere in this house, there is a black hole that sucks up my tweezers. And it is bugging my ass. Not to mention my brows.

2. People who come to town from back home whom I barely know but want to have dinner with me. I realize this makes me sound like an misanthropic C-word. But come on. We smiled and said hello on the streetcar maybe twice a year in Toronto. But now because you’re in town, I am supposed to give up a hard-earned weekend night of doing nothing to have dinner with you because I am the only person you know here? No. Just no. And please stop asking. If we didn’t go  out for dinner in Toronto, why would we go out here?

3. My firewood man. He called at noon to say he was coming at 4. He called at 4 to say he was coming at 6. He never showed, and turned his cellphone off. Piss off. I waited around all day, gazing longingly at my fireplace, telling it sweetly: “Don’t worry! Soon I will have wood and you will be roaring happily once more!” It’s just bad business not to show and then to turn off your cell, isn’t it?

4. My big dumb hound dog who refuses to go out in the rain and so has dropped a load twice in the basement on the new carpet. I have been kicking her out in the backyard because if you put her on her leash and try to make her walk, she just lies down, but she still seems to be saving up her business for the basement rec room. And because she’s not going out for walks, she is getting bored, and tonight ripped into a whole package of toilet paper, chewed on a bunch of rolls and made a big mess. It is hard to force a 55-pound hound dog to do something she doesn’t want to do, or to reason with her at all, or to punish her. She either hangs her head in shame, or wags her tail thinking you’re kidding. Cats, I must say, are a thousand times more dignified. They’d kill themselves in shame and horror if they shit on the carpet, they really would, and always go out in the rain to relieve themselves.

5. My fucking landlord. For three weeks my washing machine has been malfunctioning. They sent a repairman who couldn’t fix it and told me they’d get back to me the next day. Nothing, and they don’t return my calls or e-mails. Doing one load of  laundry takes about five hours because the digital controls are malfunctioning and the machine automatically turns off after 10 minutes. This is pissing me off and making me crazy.

That’s it for me today! What’s pissing all of you off?

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