bloombergOn Tuesday, New York City re-elected Michael Bloomberg for mayor, by a whopping margin of 5 whole points.  Before the election, polls had Bloomberg as far ahead as 18 points over Democrat (and former New York City Comptroller) William Thompson Jr. Can we please, please, please stop taking polls as gospel truth? How many thousands of times do they have to be wrong before we’ll understand? This time they didn’t count on the large turnout of African-American and Hispanic New Yorkers.

By Tuesday evening, we knew. Not only had Bloomberg’s money succeeded in buying himself yet another term, but this Bush-loving, Republican sloth won New Jersey. Awesome. One of the things that bothers me about Bloomberg’s win is the way that upper-class, educated, mostly white liberals justify voting for him. The press didn’t talk about it too much in this election cycle, since Bloomberg has since left the Republican Party (this makes it much easier to justify…you see, he’s an “Independent” now). I despise everything that Michael Bloomberg stands for. Since first becoming mayor in 2001, after Giuliani failed to use the deaths of thousands to keep the Office for himself for another few years, Bloomberg has done the following:

1. Ran as a Republican to surf the Wing Nut wave post 9/11

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2. Offered the city up to Republican ghouls, who wrapped themselves in the flag, using the deaths of 3000 people in order to win an election. While speaking to the Republican masses, Bloomberg did not forget to praise our former GOP-soldier Governor Pataki and oh yeah, reminded us that we should all vote for George Bush.

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3. Banned smoking in restaurants and bars. WTF? Because when you go to a bar, you just want to get your drink on until your liver rots, but ew, smoke!  Thanks, Mayor Mommy.  Don’t forget to lay off that salt, New York!

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4. Left the Republican Party in 2007, after the 2006 Democratic wins in the House and Senate. This time he would try to surf the “Independent” wave.

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5. Successfully overturned term limits. Thanks, Christine Quinn!  You’re a doll.  Except now that he’s mayor for the third time, he’s still a term limits believer. Except for himself.  Got it?

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Bloomberg uses his money and influence in every way possible. Math reading scores are up according to the Regents Board?  Nope. But Bloomie’s close to the people on the Board. Has dinner parties with them and everything. Pretty cool how that works.

Poor Thompson. Abandoned by his party. Now these Democratic dopes wonder “What if?” Disgusting. It’s not gross enough that you backed Bloomberg, the former Bushie cheerleader, but now you have the audacity to ask “Gee, I wonder what!?”

President Obama backed Thompson, though. Oh wait, he just let Thompson use a tiny picture of him with the words “endorsed by President Obama.” Way to go out of your way, Prez. I thought you would appreciate Thompson, if anything, for your shared Star Trek nerdery.

A man spends more than most people make per year in an hour and we reward him. But  Bloomberg’s just like us! He takes the subway! Right after his SUV drops him off out front.

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