“Airline pickpocket strikes as passengers sleep.”

See, this is why I don’t trust people, they’re shifty motherfuckers just waiting to steal your shit.  Every now and then you come across a person who actually displays some goodwill and helps you out but for the most part people are too fucking selfish and worried about their own ass to bother helping out a fellow man.  And why are we so pre-occupied with our own shit?  Because of shit like this!  I mean, come on, on a fucking airplane?!  At 30,000 feet you still have to worry about getting jacked?!

The people who know me think I’m crazy for the way I never let my stuff out of my sight, but this is exactly why.  The two times I’ve been ripped off were both because I was stupid and/or careless with my stuff; the first time I stupidly left a brand new Louis Vuitton bag (with wallet, damnit) in the car because I didn’t want it to reek of tobacco choke in the bar and the second time was because my boyfriend and I had chugged a handful of e and I told him to stay in the car while I went to get punch-balloons and razor blades but he got out and wandered around looking for me and left the window down and my bag on the seat.  And so I paid the price, fraudulent charges and identity theft not to mention losing fabulous bags and good makeup/numbers/bottle openers/etc.

Now?   I eye everybody like they’re the Boogeyman, I don’t trust none of you John Q. Public’s to do me a solid.  Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I’m not sociable and pleasant with people, because I am.  I spend my whole life smiling at people I will never trust.