Happy Friday, Y’all!                                       

I hope you all have excellent plans for the weekend and if you don’t then you better get you some.  As for me, I have an incredible weekend planned in San Francisco with the fanciest of gays known ’round here as SkinnyBoneJones and The Dashing M, with a special guest appearance by my homeskillet, BritneyCanadaWhore.  I know, I know it’s tough but try not to hate, you’ll just make wrinkles.  Ahhh, but don’t worry your pretty faces about it, I have some alternative weekend action JUST FOR YOU!

Allow me to present; Liberator Bedroom Adventure Gear!  More realistically known as: The Fanciest Sex Pillows You Will Ever Need!  (aka ‘Pushin’ Cushions’ if you’re hillbilly like that)

The first thing you probably notice at the Liberator site is that they have a ton of stuff to look at, but I’m just going to focus on the pillows today.  The Sex Furniture is divine, (believe me) but I just don’t have the room for any right now.  So, what the hell are these things for, you ask?  According to the Liberator people:

Liberator knows that love artists from the beginning of time have used props to enhance the lovemaking experience. As documented in the Kama Sutra, varying the setting, textures, and colors associated with sexual pleasures produces harmony and cementing a couple’s bond. The Kama Sutra depicts the use of sex pillows and sex cushions to explore a couple’s sexuality and educating men on the art of satisfying a woman. Liberator has taken this ancient theme and infused modern comfort, uniting function and sophistication to take sexual pleasure to new heights. Liberator Shapes offers a divine incline for deeper penetration and g-spot navigation in any position. Liberator Shapes excel every oral performance, ease any anal expedition and intensify every single sensation. The Black Label Liberator Shapes add another sexual thrill with light bondage and playful restraint.

Yeahyeah, but do they work?  YES THEY DO.  Baby, let me just tell you, a good bangin’ on the Wedge/Ramp Combo or the Hipster?  Makes any clueless lover feel like a pro.  I gah-ron-tee! (shoutout to the CC!)  There are 10 basic shapes to choose from, but there are also several options with the shapes.  The Axis Hitachi is an available option on the self loving Axis, and it provides a slot to hold your trusty Hitachi Magic Wand handsfree – convenient!  The Escape is like a padded sex mat you can use anywhere you need a comfortable surface and also comes in a Wet version which has a moisture proof vinyl covering so you can get really serious.

I can't even begin to describe how much fun this thing is.

Personal faves include the Wedge/Ramp Combo because you can really do a lot with the 2 pieces and if your budget only allows one purchase it’s pretty good value.  All the shapes come in a range of colors and sizes; the sizing I find especially helpful and unique ‘cuz we’re not all the same size and I’ve found other sex pillows too short for my tall ass.  Additionally, you don’t ever have to worry about not knowing how the fuck the pillows should go or where you put your ass because the thoughtful people at Liberator have included many action shots and even instructional videos for all the pieces.  Service-y!  (I accept no responsibility when you get busted watching these at your desk).

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Wedge/Ramp Combo - note the perfect entry angle

Hipster - for once not something douchetastic

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Once you’ve drooled over the many, many delicious possibilities, all the while imagining the amazingly naughty things you could do, it’s time to think about extras.  Each of the shapes is available in Original Label or Black Label, the latter includes restraints attached to the edges, sure to please the S&M and light bondage fans.  Should you go with an Original Label piece and later slap yourself across the mouth for not getting Black Label, you can easily just add a Conversion Kit and have at it.  If all that wasn’t enough for you (greedy), you can also purchase additional Covers for your pieces, to match any decor or Situation.

Get your Situation on in all your favorite Snooki shades

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You’re welcome, hookers.

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Also: Don't forget to stretch!

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