Hi People,

I wish I had more time to hang with y’all, but I’ve just started my own business and it’s entirely up to me to make sure I don’t fail spectacularly.  Trixie is slinking around here somewhere, maybe she’ll stop banging her hot boyfriend for a minute and tell you all about it.  Tailfeather is on vacation I believe, so I’m sure she’ll have something for you when she gets back.

But for today I have a brilliant post I came across and should print out and take with me every time I go to the doctor.  You’ve seen these pain charts, yes?  The idea being that everyone interprets pain differently so my #6 on the scale will not be the same as your #6, therefore you are supposed to point to the face that represents how you feel in order to indicate to the doc what’s going on.  And for kids it’s good as well.

But imagine if it could be better……

0: Hi.  I am not experiencing any pain at all.  I don’t know why I’m even here.

1: I am completely unsure whether I am experiencing pain or itching or maybe I just have a bad taste in my mouth.

2: I probably just need a Band Aid.

3: This is distressing.  I don’t want this to be happening to me at all.

4: My pain is not fucking around.

5: Why is this happening to me??

6: Ow.  Okay, my pain is super legit now.

7: I see Jesus coming for me and I’m scared.

8: I am experiencing a disturbing amount of pain.  I might actually be dying.  Please help.

9: I am almost definitely dying.

10: I am actively being mauled by a bear.

11: Blood is going to explode out of my face at any moment.

Too Serious For Numbers: You probably have ebola.  It appears that you may also be suffering from Stigmata and/or pinkeye.

Credit:  Hyperbole and a Half