colored-pot-leafHappy Friday, Hookers!  It’s been forever and a day but we finally have a new Ganja Gab for you.  Today’s topic is about relationships and the recreational user.

So I read this article about marijuana and dating/relationships, and it’s pretty straightforward if not predictable in it’s content.  Cannabis is an interest to regular users of the plant just as travel or bird watching is to others, and it certainly helps to share interests with the person you love.  The blogger goes on to talk about the importance of communication, morality complications, the divinity of “weed heightened conversations” and the like, and in the end we are reminded that trust and love will conquer all (such as).  A reference is made to how “smoking might get in the way of a regular relationship” following along the lines of one partner being pro-smoke and the other partner being anti-smoke – yeah yeah, that’s all well and good but why doesn’t anyone talk about the weed problems between couples who DO smoke?  Such as: (more…)

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Welcome back to Married With Buttercups!, where we answer all your questions on dating, mating and marriage-berating from four unique viewpoints — the twice-divorced Trixie, the avowed single Tailfeather, the married-with-an-attitude kadinsky and the blushing newlywed, BiscuitDoughJones.

 

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BCP Reader Befuddled in Brooklyn writes;

 

Dear cherished Buttercups whose relationships are more successful than my own and whose wisdom I wish to absorb,

My boyfriend and I are seriously in love, and I have no reason to expect he won’t be a really big thing in my life, either as a long-term friend or a long-term partner.  So the fact that this seems like a relationship that might, in the best of worlds, go somewhere, makes it even more important that I figure out what to do about his mother.

We finally met this Thanksgiving, and she gave me weird vibes from the start. Normally I’m a total parent charmer. . But she was prickly and domineering over the holiday, criticizing my smallest behaviors, like how I filled her kettle to boil water. I was intending to help her with the Thanksgiving cooking, and contribute some dishes of my own, but she didn’t seem interested in helping me find the right (basic) ingredients (or even in helping me get to the store in an unfamiliar city) and warned eerily that on Turkey Day her oven, and every mixing bowl she owned, were scheduled down to the hour, so I ended up not making anything. I felt awful. Worst of all, she waited until my boyfriend was out of the room to pepper me with questions that were borderline hostile. (She broached topics to do with weight and body image, as well as how much money I make. “So, you sort of live hand-to-mouth, then? That must be strange.” Etc.) I’m game to talk about almost anything with someone I expect to have an important quasi-familial relationship with, but she seemed more snarky and passive-aggressive than motivated by genuine curiosity or friendliness. I tried to parry the assault politely, but I was very uncomfortable. (Whenever my boyfriend came back into the room, she would stop.)

So, I suppose my question is, how do you set boundaries with your in-laws? What strategies have you employed in similar situations, with what results? I feel like now is the crucial time for determining the patterns and scope of our future interactions, and looking back on last week, I think I just failed, big-time. I rolled over like a puppy in the face of her questions, when my instinct was to tell her politely to mind her own business. I had no issues with my boyfriend’s dad. He was awesome. But what can I do to get off on the right foot with his mother, without feeling like I’m making myself her patsy? How do you each negotiate these delicate maneuvers? I’m at a loss.

Best,

Befuddled in Brooklyn

(P.S. The boyfriend, for what it’s worth, is completely supportive. He warned me his mother could be a little difficult, and whenever she made any comment in his presence that struck him as even slightly disrespectful or undermining, he dealt with it very well, quickly changing the subject or saying, “Come on, mother,” or something similar. But even though he makes an excellent proxy, I need to know how to relate to her myself.) 

 

The Buttercups give their thoughts, after the jump (more…)

Welcome to the first instalment of Married with Buttercups! You ask, we answer with four starkly different points of view: a two-time divorcee who really liked being married (Trixie), a fiercely independent, never-been-married single (Tailfeather), a blushing newlywed in the throes of wedded bliss (BiscuitDoughJones) and a long-married wife with an occasional bad-ass streak (Kadinsky).

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Last week we received questions from our dear readers on a wide range of topics. The Buttercups weigh in after the jump! (more…)

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Well, hello there and welcome to our newest feature: Married with Buttercups! Being the stellar whores that we are, we thought we would tap into the collective well of relationship trauma each of us have acquired over the years to provide you with some insights into the riddles, puzzles, conundrums and straight-up bullshit that is ‘an intimate relationship.’  And lest you think we haven’t got your particular area of the love spectrum covered, fear not for in one handy dandy feature you get:

Trixie – Been there, done that — twice.

kadinsky – Married 5 years but a whore 4 life.

BiscuitDoughJones – The Newlywed, so precious!

Tailfeather – Single and Struttin’, leaving ’em in her wake.

And all for the low, low price of nothing!  That’s right, you pay not a cent, but you must act now.  Send us your questions, your what if’s, your should-I’s and could-I’s today!  Hurry!  Operators are standing by!

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While the subject of dating or loving or fucking a bisexual woman is something many lesbians won’t touch with a ten foot pole (let alone an 8″ dildo), there remain amongst queer women the novices, the naive, the romantic and the logical. Whether it’s the lure of the taboo, the probability of success in any relationship regardless of sexual orientation, being wet behind the ears or truly in love, bisexual women and lesbians manage to make connections more often than not.

Outside of bars, animal shelters, vegan coffee shops or Dolores Park, lezzies looking for love or a good old NSA romp have perused Craigslist’s W4W ads for years. The ads that bisexual women post, in particular, provide some of the most hilarious and infuriating entertainment a girl could ask for. I’ve been known to read them out loud to M in a multitude of badly done accents until we are both crying with laughter. A few years ago she programmed an online game of Bisexual Bingo, so she and her friends could amuse themselves whenever an unsuspecting bicurious gal wandered in, tossing around typical bi buzzwords like: “husband,” “34DD,” or “wet.” The other night we were watching The Craft, and regarding Fairuza Balk M asked, “So, bisexual? Or just crazy?”

Check out the insanity of these bi ads on CL:

SAD BI AD NO. 1: “Thank you for all those that have replied.We need a few more to definatly sign on.I would like to plan this for Nov.19,20,21 .those that have replied let me know what works for you.For those with interest, this is a playdate for a few hours around noon after all the kids are off to school.I provide a suite in Burlington and we meet to let loose and get a bit frisky.I am the only male.It is mainly for you women to let loose and try new things.No presure just a chance to get out.I do this around every six weeks starting in the fall and not during the summer(kids,vacations etc).I’m starting a little late this year.Let me know if you are interested.”

SAD BI AD NO. 2: “Ok I am going to try this again. I have been using craigslist for a while now trying to make some friends. It seems like a joke. It seems that people respond but then you reply back either they write you back with oh im too busy or some other lame excuse. I am 32 and I am just trying to make some decent friends. I tryed hard to find a bi girl who wanted to have a threesome with me and my boyfriend but I guess I am going to give up that idea for a while so here I am back to the friend thing again. Of course I am sure I will get more flakey people to write and say how they are this and that and you hear from them once or twice and then thats it. Oh well its only the internet right????”

Good times, good times.

Fun and games aside, the Sugar Walls gang wanted to dive deep (sorry) into the controversy and criticism of bisexual women by lesbians: What’s really behind it? Is it personal, political or both? Why is it so hard to live and let live, as victims ourselves of the same bullshit? Are bi women really as fickle, irresponsible and peen-leaning as they’re made out to be? Bona fide bi hottie kadinsky weighs in with the resident BCP dykes, after the jump! (more…)

Welcome to a new Friday feature on BCP, “The Best Sex I Never Had,” in which we invite our readers to submit their most humiliating, pathetic, and just-plain-awful sexual experiences for public consumption.  Seriously, email us!  It’s like a group therapy session with 1,000 of your closest friends.  You’ll feel so much better after you share.  If you would like to contribute, see the rules for submission at the end of this post.

 

You may have noticed that it is not Friday.  I’m posting today because everybody was off holidaying last week (did I mention I was at work?  And am bitter?), and I thought reader DottyZ’s story deserved a proper airing.  You see, DottyZ was the victim of a senseless crime, a crime that’s left her reeling and nearly destroyed her faith in love.  The perpetrator?  A young man she had showered with affection, a man who had enjoyed the benefits of her myriad charms.  What follows is another sad tale of tail.

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Please not that \"flavours\" seem to include banana, orange, strawberry, and... mineral water?

Since I relocated to the UK, my mother has routinely sent me lovely care-packages of books, American magazines, and most importantly, products from home.  The comfort and familiarity of brand-loyalty is never stronger than when one finds oneself on foreign soil and unable to purchase a bottle of ibuprofen containing more than 16 pills.  Thank you, British Government, for protecting me from myself, but honestly?  If I had the bad judgment to off myself with a paracetamol overdose, wouldn’t I just visit multiple stores?  And if I’m an irresponsible enough parent to leave tempting, candy-like pills within childhood grasp, can’t we also assume that the broken booze bottles on the floor, unneutered Rottweiler, and forks sticking out of the unprotected wall sockets are a more imminent danger?

My co-workers alternate between amusement and puzzlement over these care-package items (in December, it was a ten-pound box containing nothing but cold medication – yes, I know you have cold medication here, but my American generic Walgreen’s Sudafed is VASTLY SUPERIOR and there is nothing you can say or do to sway this staunch belief).  They WERE noticeably impressed by my bottle of 200 Advil, however, as they’ve never seen the like, and now everyone with a headache or period cramps in the office makes a pitstop at my desk (the company itself can’t stock painkillers for legal reasons).  At my office in America, we had gallon-sized bottles of Tylenol and Advil which were replenished monthly.  Assumedly, our insurance also covers any subsequent bleeding ulcers. (more…)