Way to get me to open your email, Shiseido. Nothing entices me quite like the phrases “straight from the runways” and “limited edition.” Touche’. Anyway, Shiseido is pimping a newly re-released limited-edition cream-to-powder eyeshadow, “Prouenze Schouler Blue.”



What makes this shadow so special? Well, other than that it’s a highly-saturated cobalt blue in a line devoted to muted shades, it was featured prominently during PS’s Fall runway show. After the jump, see pics from the runway, and I’ll tell you how to re-create the look at home! (more…)


Greetings from the future!!! Actually, not really, but the newest beauty breakthroughs I’m about to discuss do seem more like science fiction then fact. I got an email from Sephora this morning advertising the latest in beauty gadgets. Most of them were the usual: hair removers, trimmers, flat irons, Clarisonic skin brushes. But then I saw these two gizmos:


And I was all, “Whuuuuut? Those are nothing but a couple of LED panel arrays(matrices, whatever), what the hell does that have to do with beauty?” Apparently, a lot. It’s about to get science-y up in here!


How does one succeed at the Game of Love? It’s simple, really: Play to your strengths, no matter how lame you may think them. See, Mr. Panda is not the only person who’s expressed an interest in marrying me, oddly enough. Men, women, married women, and all types of assorted characters have expressed an interest in keeping me around forevermore due to my one natural talent: I can cook.

The ability to cook large, complicated, flavorful meals is, in my Cajun family, really nothing special. So it was a real surprise to me in adulthood to find out that many of my friends had a hard time following the instructions of a packet of Top Ramen, let alone whipping up a batch of ettouffe’. I don’t know how much of cooking is learned techniques and how much is instinct, all I can say is that much of food preparation comes rather naturally to me. It’s probably the only thing in my life that I’ve ever been able to just do, without having to try really hard or “fake it till I make it.” (more…)

A sanguine flush of the cheek has long been associated with youth and beauty. Sonnets have been composed in ode to the bloom of a woman’s cheek. However, there is a big difference between this:

and this:

Photo Copyright: The Center for Laser Surgery in Washington, DC

Rosacea is a common yet perplexing skin disorder in that most people who are afflicted don’t even know they have it. If you experience persistent redness or flushing of the face, please go to Rosacea.org to see if you may have this disorder. Rosacea affects and estimated 14 million Americans, including myself and my friend Spicy Tamale (“caller, you are on the request line!”). Tamale and I are afflicted with Subtype 1, which is the initial stage of the disorder and also the mildest. It is characterized by flushing and persistent redness, and sometimes visible blood vessels. Occasional pimple-like bumps may be experienced with this stage of the disorder.

Coming up, I will (to the best of my ability) give my fellow Rosacea sufferers some tips to keep your blushing skin under contol.


Again with the MUA tips. The 2nd most oft-asked about beauty problem involves undereye bags. They tend to make a gal look “tired” or “older” or whatever kinds of perfectly pedestrian words become derogatory when directed at a woman’s appearance. Too bad, so sad, that we’re not allowed to age. I find that, when it comes to the beaty game, this jaunty musical number about sums it up:

 You can’t win. You can’t break even, and you can’t get out of the game. But, on a lighter note, there actually are a few things you can do to make your eyes look nicer. You’re still aging, can’t help that (yet, I’m fucking 24, so what do I know), but you can make it look all soft-focus, Ingrid Begman in Casablanca-fied:

(after the jump!)



Makeup has always been one of those things I’m just effortlessly good at. I was good at it before I even cared to wear any on a regular basis. (Oh, teenage rebellion- some kids smoke cigarettes and cut class, I questioned the role of females in society and only painted my face up for Halloween.) So, naturally, I just assumed that if my seriously unskilled ass could do it, that every woman could. Ummmm, no.  It wasn’t until adulthood that I found out you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting at least 4 women who are completely confounded by cosmetics.

    This past weekend, an alarming number of my girlfriends asked me for tips on the sly. Of course, we got too drunk and forgot all about makeovers. Boo. Now that my hangover is wearing off, I’ve been thinking, “if I could give just one simple tip that would prove invaluable to women who are clueless about makeup, what would it be?” Why just one tip? Because I’m lazy and don’t feel like writing anything that’ll take more than 15 minutes. Besides, if I dole out the beauty tips one at a time, y’all will keep coming back. I’m like the neighborhood crack dealer. Or, like, Philip-Morris or some shit.

   Anyway, the Holy Grail of makeup tips concerns eyeliner. (Ooooh, I’ve gotcha now…)



bodyshop.jpg So, Today’s junk mail nugget comes in the form of 3-for-$20 body scrubs at The Body Shop, which got me thinking about homeopathic beauty remedies vs. the shiny packaged goods staring tantalizingly back through the brightly-lit chain beauty store window. Now, I could let this devolve into a treatise about consumerism, the pervasiveness of mall-culture and what it means for smaller retailers, the creeping death of the creative underclass but, uh, I’m not gonna. Let’s keep it light, shall we?