I have been quite astonished by the notion that the poor dumb kid who got into Sarah Palin’s Yahoo account by changing her password might actually go to jail.
a. That’s considered hacking?
b. Who hasn’t guessed someone’s password or obtained it in a similar manner, particularly in the midst of an ugly or acrimonious breakup in which you are certain you are being lied to on a dozen different fronts?
Indeed, as you may have guessed, I guessed my ex’s password and busted him cheating on me by doing so.
In fact, my worst “hacking” story, by today’s standards, should have landed me in jail for a long time, not only for “hacking,” but for fraudulent misrepresentation. Here’s my story, people, and I’d love to hear yours.
So I first busted my husband with his future bride by picking up his cellphone and noticing dozens and dozens of calls from a suburban number I didn’t recognize. I did a reverse look-up on 411. Sure enough her name appeared. When I asked: “Who’s Bitchface O’Sluttypants and why are you in touch with her several times a day?” he caved like a house of cards, reassured me of his deep and abiding love for me, compared me favourably to her in every way, and ended the relationship immediately (so he claimed).
Flash forward a couple of months and the tell-tale signs return. He’s shifty and distant. This time I find out when he tells me at the end of our summer vacation — which was rife with a WHOLE LOT of banging — that he doesn’t love me anymore and wants out of the marriage. I ask: “Are you seeing Bitchface O’Sluttypants again? Is this about her?” He is indignant. “Of COURSE not!” he hisses. As we are driving back home with kids in the car, I furtively pick up his cellphone and once again see her number in the call logs night and day.
This time, he insists they are not sleeping together but simply have an “emotional connection.” He wants out, but not for her, he insists. In fact, he doubts he really wants to see her at all — there are so many things he doesn’t like about her, including her tits. Classy. He needs time out of the house and totally alone to figure out what he wants to do, he says. He packs up and leaves as I am a hysterical mess, having to lie to the kids about what’s going on. I lie awake all night knowing he’s lying, but needing proof. One day I decide I must do what I have to arm myself with the truth so I can decide what to do to protect myself, my kids and my marriage. I guessed his password in five minutes. I sent her a “sexy time” e-mail. And her immediate response proved that not only were they banging, they’d been banging, repeatedly, for quite some time, That’s right, I not only hacked his account — I pretended to be him.
I won’t deny there was some sick satisfaction when I talked to him on the phone that day and asked him to reassure me again that she wasn’t in the picture, that our trial separation was not about her. “Oh no, I don’t even talk to her,” he replied. I forward the exchange proving that they’d had sex the night before. His stammering, stumbling and utter shock at my “diabolical spying methods” was momentarily wonderful. Then, of course, I spent the next few days in the pit of a horrible, terrible, sobbing freakout.
And that was punishment enough, really. I don’t think jail was really necessary, nor is it for this poor Sarah Palin hacker, who has probably spent the last week in a horrible prison of despair that is worse than any the penal system could assign him.
Tell us here at BCP — what’s your worst hacking story? And should you go to jail for it?
September 24, 2008 at 9:01 am
OK, so I’ve technically never hacked (although, to be honest, I’ve tried). But I have a doozy about my BFF:
She and her boyfriend, whom she’d been dating a while and was pretty convinced was “the one,” started hanging out with her newly-divorced sister a lot. Out of pity and kindness, she’d invite her sis out with them to concerts, movies, etc. Then she started to get suspicious that they were getting a little friendlier than they should. She asked both of them if anything was going on and they assured her there was nothing to worry about, they were just friends.
So one day, she hacked into her sister’s email account (the irony here–her sister showed her how to do it) and found message after message full of lovey-dovey sexy talk. So, she printed out a couple of the emails and then mailed them to her sister and her boyfriend with no return address. Of course, they knew she sent them and both were terrified at finally being busted. She felt a little bad about it, but since they were both being deceitful assholes, I don’t think she should.
And Trixie, I don’t think you should either.
September 24, 2008 at 9:33 am
Hmm. I don’t think I’ve hacked into anything. I stick to less tech-savy misdeeds like buying alcohol for minors in college.
September 24, 2008 at 9:33 am
oh hell. okay, I’ll give one up.
one boyfriend whom I had had a particularly tumultuous relationship with, was still in contact with his ex. I knew about it and wasn’t intensely concerned since they had a) been together for several years b) recently broken up after living together c) she was younger than both of us and acted her age (twatty). I knew they spoke about the various things ex’s speak about when separating from a co-hab sitch.
anyway, all was fine until his ex came over drunk one night and spied us getting it on through the window. she apparently camped out and WATCHED and then decided she wanted to get back with him and started calling him for stupid shit like ‘borrowing the vacuum’ or ‘have you seen my last W2’. I was immediately suspicious when a vacuum lending errand ended up with him not coming home until midnight, so I started checking his voicemails. he thought he was being slick by deleting messages she left him, but I was slicker (read: more obsessive) because I checked his messages with such frequency that I would hear them before he even had a chance to. I was particularly proud of my ability to get into his work voicemail as it was “protected” by several layers of commands. nonetheless, I busted him in lies and simultaneously took great pleasure in confounding both of them when he became convinced the phone company needed to fix his voicemail because she kept complaining she had left messages and of course he had no idea what she was talking about.
when all was said and done I felt slightly bad about it, but not for long when I considered the crank calls she would make to me.
September 24, 2008 at 9:35 am
My college boyfriend and I had a long, tumltuous descent into breaking up, and at one point he had told me that he had feelings for a woman at grad school, but this woman was having her own issues trying to work something out with her then beau. And we were trying to work out our issues, too. But upon that confession, I sat my suspicious ass down at the computer and started periodically reading his emails with her, since he had actually given me the password to his yahoo account at some point before that (so much for trusting me with it…). I pretty much did nothing with this information for at least a few months, I think because I knew deep down that he and I were going to be ending it, until I happened upon an email from her that hadn’t yet been opened by him. I just had a feeling from the tenor of their prior exchanges that this was going to be a doozy. And of course it was–here was the email that finally expressed her deep reciprocal feelings for him. But this was back in the day that you couldn’t “unread” an email at the press of a button. So what did I do? Of course I deleted it. I have no idea whether they ever figured that out, but I have to say that I never really cared either.
Our relationship eventually fizzled out when I left to go to law school, and he was stupid enough to carry on this correspondence in an email acocunt that he knew I had access to–maybe he wanted me to catch him to make the break-up that much easier. I just never gave him the satisfaction.
Fast forward 10 years–they are now married to each other, and I’m happily married myself, so in the end I really didn’t do any harm to their budding relationship (dammit). But there is no way I will EVER tell my husband about this, as in his mind this would definitely put me in the category of freaky internet stalker, and I don’t really want to open that can of worms (yes, I do know his email password, but he also knows mine).
September 24, 2008 at 9:45 am
It’s not Watergate, but he should at least be fined. Question is, would we have such a laissez-faire attitude if it was Obama or Biden’s email that was hacked into? No, we wouldn’t.
This is also a political issue and not so much a personal issue. Me hacking into my dad’s account–no big deal, me hacking into the President of my company or Governor Janet Napolitano’s account–big deal.
I am not saying that they should make an example out of him, but they should at least fine him, give him probabtion, or in the spirit of Singapore, cane his dumb behind.
His father is the Democratic state representative for Memphis, so this is not going to bode well with the Republicans.
September 24, 2008 at 9:47 am
Illegal… hmmm, I have shared my prescription pills with others.
September 24, 2008 at 10:20 am
I hear you, Amoureuse. I would be sickened if it was some high-ranking Obama operative. But just a teenager? I don’t know — it wouldn’t sit well with me, I don’t think, even if it was Obama or Biden’s e-mail that got hacked into if it was just some pimply kid.
p.s. What kind of painkillers?
September 24, 2008 at 10:28 am
yeah, but Trix, said pimply kids are omnipotent in the land of 1’s and 0’s. makes not one bit of difference if it was a 9th grader from El Segundo or McCain’s campaign adviser – it’s a security breach you wouldn’t want aimed your way.
September 24, 2008 at 10:32 am
Remember when Obama’s passport was breached? Yeah, it wasn’t so funny then.
We need to stop coddling the 80’s babies (no offense to the BCP ladies born in the 80’s), he should be caned.
I was prescribed Loretab (Oxycontin’s cousin) after a surgery. I have a high pain tolerance, so I really didn’t need the stuff (I took 2) and I might have shared the rest with friends who were suffering from busted knees, back pain & arthritis. The stuff is strong and will knock you on your a$$.
I will stop now , because you never know who is reading this.
September 24, 2008 at 10:56 am
Kadinsk: Except my kid. Who can’t get his XBox up and running.
September 24, 2008 at 11:09 am
maybe he’s the artistic type, not concerned with gadgetry.
September 24, 2008 at 11:14 am
He does spend a lot of time sketching and watching The Office. His sister is far more into gadgetry.
September 24, 2008 at 11:38 am
I was hacked once. By a then-boyfriend. He hacked into my nerdy little Linux-y email account and got all mad that my BFF used his ex-girlfriend’s terrible poetry in one of her college English classes as an example of, well, terrible poetry!
Another ex hacked my shit, found M’s phone number and called her at, like, 5AM one morning. Then tried to turn M against me. M!
HOW’D THAT ONE WORK OUT FOR YOU, JACKASS?!
Oh…right. It didn’t. HA! Sucks to be you.
September 24, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Again I have no exciting stories, and again this is mostly to blame for my shocking lack of social life and getting around. It’s not my fault! I’m working/studying 76 hours this week!
Anyway, the biggest hacker story I heard from a friend is absolutely tiny and cute, in a misguided way. My friend and her boyfriend had been together for three years, when he decided he needed to understand her better. Instead of talking to her he decided to read some of her emails (he knew her password). And one of those emails was a message to another friend, containing musings on how she was not sure if her boyfriend was really the one for her. After reading that he couldn’t keep his snooping to himself and he confronted her with her doubts.
Naturally she was extremely pissed off about the breach of privacy. Even though he had her password and she had his it was very clear that they were not supposed to read private messages. They nearly broke up over it.
They didn’t, and they’ve recently bought a house together and their 8 year anniversary is this December and they’re still a very cute couple. Thankfully.
September 24, 2008 at 12:25 pm
My slut boyfriend freshman year was at military college (not like for delinquents, actual college) and claimed he couldn’t get online very often to IM chat with me (we still used dial-up back in the stone age). I suspected he was too busy manwhoring his way through all the girls in his school, so I used his screen name and password to login as him – and had some very insightful conversations with a)one of the girls on his floor b)his brother and c)half a dozen girls who attended a nearby women’s college. I might have felt bad about it if he hadn’t been so fucking guilty of everything I suspected and more.
September 24, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Hacking- no. But internet stalking, oh hell yes. Pretty sure most of you already know this jem of a story, but I’ll throw it in anyway. I found out that not only was my ex-boyfriend seeing someone else, but he was, in fact, ENGAGED! Had been the entire time that we were together. I found this out by good old-fashioned internet stalking (which I should have done MUCH earlier, BTW). I googled him and found both a blog post about the engagement and his WEDDING REGISTRY. Oh dear. My blood pressure rises just thinking about it.
September 24, 2008 at 12:51 pm
Also, an ex-boyfriend (NOT the one from above story) once hacked into my Facebook profile. That, however, was my own damn fault because he knew all of my passwords. What?! We were madly in love and going to get married. He didn’t really do anything with the information other than stalk me for a little while post-breakup until I changed my password. Then he had to go back to Facebook stalking me the normal way like everyone else.
September 24, 2008 at 1:35 pm
@SouthernSatine: I still can’t get over that! What an asshole! Has he ever tried to contact you since it all went down?
September 24, 2008 at 2:06 pm
No hacking or stalking here- the worst thing I have done technologically speaking was during an affair with a colleague. Some of the emails and IMs that passed between us were…..slightly inappropriate for the workplace. But I’m sure the IT team loved reading them. I am also sure none of the IT team ever sat on the sofa in the break room ever again.
September 24, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Have never hacked, per se, but when my ex was staying with me–he lived overseas and would stay for weeks at a stretch–I definitely always clicked on the history when he used my computer.
Didn’t find anything incredibly incriminating except that he seemed to Facebook-stalk certain ex-girlfriends. And one time I hadn’t logged out on Facebook and he read some e-mails in my in-box. Which were about him. But that was his problem, not mine.
September 24, 2008 at 2:36 pm
@Skinny Bone Jones: zomg! like i know *anything* at 5 am!
September 24, 2008 at 3:37 pm
I think hacking is a big deal. Opening someone’s snail mail carries heavier penalties than hacking, and that’s fucked up. I, for one, do all of my banking and manage my financial accounts online. I store my medical records online. You could find out a lot more about me online than you could by going through my mail. I suspect that an increasing number of people are the same way. And I think that stealing that information (or “hacking”) should be a big fucking deal. Or at least a bigger fucking deal than it is.
I’m also w/Amoureuse on this: If a Republican state legislator’s kid (a college kid, mind you, not just any old teenager) not only hacked into Obama’s personal email but also shared it with the media, we Dems would (and should) be setting shit on fire. The only thing that really shocks or amazes me about the story is that there wasn’t any “dirt” in the stuff the hacker found. I think that’s weird.
September 24, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Amended to say I am pro-hacking when it comes to catching cheating sacks of shit.
Go Trixie!
September 24, 2008 at 4:08 pm
In college when IMing and yahoo messenger was all the rage I was dating a guy named Steve. He lived in another town so seeing each other (when i was a lonely freshman with no car) was hard. SO email and IM it was.
Well i thought he was cheating so i created another IM profile and messaged him one day out of the blue. being the slick bitch I am i had two operating AOL’s up(one just AIM the other AOL) and talked to him as me and as the other girl.
It didnt take long to crack him. I had a photo of my sorority sis and she was in on it too. He “fell” for her and started to ask her out, blah blah. He kept telling her he was single. Finally I came up because “Jessica” told him what sorority she was in. He mentioned he knew me and then proceeded to talk crap. The next day he sent her flowers to the house! I got online and he was on. I signed onto “Jessica’s” profile and called him out on it and dumped his ass.
He sent me flowers the next day. I sent him two pictures- one dumping the flowers in the trash, the other giving him the finger.
Ahh to be 18 again. No thank you.
September 24, 2008 at 4:10 pm
I read my ex’s email once, after we broke up, found nothing, and felt awful about it.
September 24, 2008 at 4:14 pm
Nice try. You’re not going to trick me into incriminating myself. I’ll take my many many hacking foibles to the grave. Or at least until the statute of limitations runs out.
September 24, 2008 at 4:51 pm
I’m amazed at the resourcefulness you ladies possess, not only for getting the info, but then using it in ways that wouldn’t even occur to me.
All I got is that I googled the love of my life’s new wife and figured out all sorts of shitty things about her. Truthfully, I really wish that I hadn’t. It made me feel even worse about the fact that he “settled” for someone like that when he could have done so much better.
September 24, 2008 at 10:46 pm
The only thing I’ve hacked into was a whole strawberry cheesecake after a breakup. Not illegal but I felt as bad about as if it was!
September 25, 2008 at 1:07 am
I would just like to say:
fuck that fucking bastard.
More to come later.
September 25, 2008 at 10:31 am
I admit that I checked my ex’s text messages when he was in the shower. But he was really, really good and deleted EVERYTHING and then passed it off like, “Oh, I just do that sometimes.” And then I attempted to hack into his email, but he changed his password constantly. He was really skilled at hiding his dirty laundry. And I didn’t try all that hard to find stuff out.
September 26, 2008 at 1:49 am
1) You’ve probably heard about Ms. Palin’s hack on the news, so here’s the other side of that, courtesy of ED.
2) As for myself, the closest I’ve come to hacking was–back when I lived in Tacoma–messing with one of my insane ex-roommate’s e-mail passwords so that all the other insane people could enjoy some lulz at their expense.
I also have saved a few PDFs of some e-mails an IRL stalker sent to his victim before she bolted out of his real life once and for all–this happened during a raid on said stalker’s account; the less you all know how or why, the better…
…mainly because he’s still out there, waiting.
Anyway, I’ve said too much as it is, so I’ll leave it at that.