So, here is the situation: I got a call yesterday that two Yorkie pups need an emergency placement or they will be euthanized on Friday. It seems that their owner (a/k/a evilcuntbitchwhore) couldn’t sell them and doesn’t want them. The girls have lived their entire 18 months on this Earth in a crate. They aren’t socialized. They haven’t been to the vet for their shots and neither has been spayed.
Of course I said yes. Even though I have four pups (little David Johnson is pictured above). Even though I’m moving to NYC in two weeks (more on that another day). I had to act quickly, so between 7:00 p.m last night and noon today I accomplished the following:
1. Called my ex, who is my good friend now (as our romance was not meant to be) and convinced her to meet the woman who has saved these pups from their death sentence, and to purchase the girls some little beds and food and treats.
2. Told this very nice man at my office about them and he offered me a $500 donation towards their vetting.
3. Contacted the fetching Identicle twins who might very well adopt these twin pups.
My mojo is working today!
Now for the dilemma: What to name these beautiful girls? My first thought, of course, was to name one Lindsay after my pretty, pretty girl. What to name the other one? Samantha, of course. But, as MsDirector (my Pocket Jew) pointed out, the pups are sissies, so that wouldn’t work. Then the lovely AYL pointed out that Samantha does, indeed, have a twin sister: Charlotte. So that was a thought. But the ever-sharp SigourneyFever suggested “Annie and Hallie” the name of the twins from Lindsay’s version of “The Parent Trap”. I like it!
But, y’all, I need more suggestions. What to name these twin pups? Please give me suggestions and make your case below.
Now, I have to go get some pups! Talk amongst yourselves, I’ll give you a topic: Should this evil owner (1) die in a fire as suggested by SBJ, or (2) be tossed off the mountain by Kadinsky? Discuss.
Here are the girls!:
September 5, 2008 at 8:16 am
Obviously, the owner needs to spend the next 18 months of her life in a crate. Somewhere hot and deeply unpleasant. And her only human contact will be with… Andy Dick, who will give her food, but she will only be served hot dogs in a can, and Eddie Murphy’s last three movies will play on a constant loop in the background.
September 5, 2008 at 8:21 am
Gog and Magog.
September 5, 2008 at 8:31 am
Gollum and Smeagol.
Also, Tailfeather’s sentiments are seconded right here.
September 5, 2008 at 8:40 am
Oh.My.God. I am dying from the cuteness. Who could possibly give up those pups?? I agree with all punishments suggested by tailfeather. However, I think that Heidi Montag’s “album” should perhaps be added to that constant loop.
September 5, 2008 at 8:40 am
Puppehs…sorry, once I saw those girls I couldn’t even think of anything evil. Seriously BAngieB, what you do for these pups is amazing.
And, I second Annie and Hallie – I not so secretly love that movie, and it’s saved in my DVR even.
Ok, back to drooling at the puppies.
September 5, 2008 at 8:41 am
I am going to vote for the following:
1. Betty and Veronica
2. Cher and Dionne
3. Arwen and Eowyn
4. Thelma and Louise
5. Patsy and Edina
September 5, 2008 at 9:08 am
Michelle and Sarah?
September 5, 2008 at 9:15 am
Julia and Allison?
September 5, 2008 at 9:17 am
I second Betty and Veronica, cuteness all the way.
September 5, 2008 at 10:03 am
I really do like Patsy and Edina.
I’m still holding out for Nessa and Elphie, though.
PS I like being called “fetching!”
September 5, 2008 at 10:20 am
Let’s just pay homage to the identicles and name them Identicle and Baden.
September 5, 2008 at 10:32 am
Romy and Michelle?
I do really like Arwen/Eowyn and Patsy/Edina, though.
But SERIOUSLY, BAngie, every time I look at that picture I die a little inside. It’s like showing a newlywed a picture of the cutest baby ever. I WANT A PUPPY. I WANT THOSE PUPPIES. I CANNOT HAVE THOSE PUPPIES. MAKE IT STOP.
I vote evilcuntbitchwhore gets lit on fire and then thrown off the mountain, thereby falling to a fiery death. Like Faramir’s father in LOTR.
September 5, 2008 at 10:32 am
Also, Beezus and Ramona.
September 5, 2008 at 10:41 am
Piper and Trig ( that would be a total cuteness faceoff).
September 5, 2008 at 10:48 am
Laverne and Shirley.
September 5, 2008 at 10:59 am
Bwahahahahah at Piper and Trig. Piper was actually on my list of real baby names, but not so much anymore.
Beezus and Ramona are EXCELLENT, but there are negative connotations to the name Mona/Ramona in my family so no one would like calling that name much.
Wayne and Garth if they were boys :)
September 5, 2008 at 11:05 am
I think the punishment should be as Tailfeather suggested, to be followed by what MsDirector suggested: 18 months of crate living followed by a fiery toss from the mountain, Denethor-style.
Arwen / Eowyn gets my vote (and Strider’s).
September 5, 2008 at 11:13 am
Thelma and Louise is cute, although our neighbor has a little dog (also a yorkie i think!) names Lewis and that might get confusing.
Annie and Hallie is a contender…
And Betty and veronica could also pay homage to veronica mars!
September 5, 2008 at 11:23 am
Buffy and Willow!
… yes, I am a geek.
September 5, 2008 at 11:31 am
Rory and Lorelai?
September 5, 2008 at 11:37 am
Ah, Tailfeather plus Pocket Jew with a dash of Southern Satine = Violent Amazon. The rage excites me.
Identicles: Nessa and Elphie is a pretty good idea, actually. Same number of letters as in your names, plus, as I stated last night, the trick to telling them apart is the same as the trick to telling you two apart: One wears bigger earrings.
September 5, 2008 at 11:38 am
@ms director: but angel and spike if they were boys!!!
bangieb: you have given them life. you are amazing. i still can’t get over how your choice has led to a complete turn around for these blameless, harmless, lovely, BEAUTIFULLY gorgeous dogs.
my vote is totally for the annie and hallie BECAUSE then when you’re feeling cutesy you can call to them in british accents like on the movie. AHNNIIE WE’RE SISTAHS. OH MY GOD CUPPY.
but then i’m feeling beezus and ramona.
what about ashley and wynonna?
i’m just going to make a list of absolute HELL NOs.
-tia and tamara
-paris and nicky
-mary-kate and ashley
-barbie and skipper
September 5, 2008 at 11:43 am
Jem and Hologram?
September 5, 2008 at 11:51 am
I second Laverne and Shirley!
Or any combo of Blanche, Dorothy, Sophia, and Rose!
September 5, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Amelia and Bedelia.
September 5, 2008 at 12:16 pm
Leather and Pinky?
September 5, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Amazon: THAT’S IT!!!!
September 5, 2008 at 12:31 pm
So effing cute. They look a little high maintenance and probs have a touch of attitude from the evilcuntfuckfacebitchwhore’s doing so I say Blair and Serena.
I just got a rescued pup about a month ago. My little guy was tossed from a car into a park where a rescue volunteer happened to be walking her dog. There is no punishment too severe for these people. But I DO like the idea of Heidi Montag being involved!
September 5, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Here’s my guy, renamed Louie:
http://www.petfinder.com/petnote/displaypet.cgi?petid=11512528
And he is soo a Min-Pin mix not a doxie.
September 5, 2008 at 12:41 pm
mllejanine: Thank you for rescuing a pup! My momma’s dog, LuLu, was thrown out of a truck onto the sidewalk in front of Kroger. I tried and tried to get her to name her “Kay Roger”…but she didn’t fall for it.
September 5, 2008 at 1:13 pm
are they totally nuts?
September 5, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Yes, M, they are buck-ass wild.
September 5, 2008 at 1:29 pm
@mllejanine: how adorable :) Petfinder is like porn for me, only I can look at it at work. I can sit on it for hours and look at all the puppies and dream of bringing them home with me.
September 5, 2008 at 1:39 pm
mllejanine: He is SO cute! And lucky lucky lucky.
I want a dog. Dammit.
September 5, 2008 at 1:41 pm
in that case, anne heche and liza minelli ?
September 5, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Ooooh, I love Pinky and Leather! Good for you to adopt these cuties, hope they settle down and your other puppehs can help them socialize. We adopted our cockapoo Skippy in Jan. and she keeps us on our toes. You can’t keep a door open too long around her or she’s “I’m out of here bitches”-gone! But we fell in love with her and I’d like to think that if she gets out now she’d at least look back like she might miss us. Good Luck B!
September 5, 2008 at 1:56 pm
M – haaaaa! hilarious.
Or maybe Sarah and Palin? Ann and Coulter?
September 5, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Good one, bebe.
Batshit insane, batshit insane…hm, crazy twins…what are the names of the women in that Single White Female movie? You can use the truly psycho name for whichever pup is more…special!
September 5, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Unwed and Mother?
Decision vs. No Choice?
Lucy and Ethel?
Ann and Nancy Wilson?
September 5, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Butch and Femme.
September 5, 2008 at 2:25 pm
Lil’ Kim and Mary J?
September 5, 2008 at 2:26 pm
If we’re going dysfunctional, then it’s gotta be Britney and Jamie Lynn.
September 5, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Congrats BangieB! You do a really good thing by saving these animals!
Pinky and Stinky?
Celine and Dion?
I lovvee Patsy and Edina!
September 5, 2008 at 2:27 pm
Jessica and Ashlee?
September 5, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Oooh, I can’t be the only kid who was raised on Nick at Night. Does anyone remember “The Patty Duke Show”? Patty and Cathy!
I have two other names from a ’50s sitcom, but they are for boys and I’m saving them for my future orange tabby and a dog and I am possessive of them. But they are the best names EVER.
September 5, 2008 at 2:33 pm
I thought of that Tailfeather, “cousins, identicle cousins all the way…”
September 5, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Aww shucks, y’all. You just see those big brown eyes and can’t say no!
Oooh, how ’bout Lil Kim and Faith.
September 5, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Ooh, Samantha and Serena!
September 5, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Hall and Oates.
AC and DC
Hocus and Pocus
Milli and Vanilli
Violet and Veruca
September 5, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Dear Abby and Dear Ann Landers.
Kelley and Kim.
Freddie and Flossie.
Not twins:
Ginger and MaryAnn
Cagney and Lacey
Kate and Allie
September 5, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Blush and Bashful.
September 5, 2008 at 4:24 pm
I do think Tailfeather’s punishment fits the crime perfectly.
Blush and Bashful caused me to make an odd snorting sound, so that wins my vote.
September 5, 2008 at 4:28 pm
lindzertart: Or just “pink and pink”.
September 5, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Ellen and Portia?
Venus and Serena?
September 5, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Oh I love Annie and Hallie! I think that’s perfect.
September 5, 2008 at 10:03 pm
Y’all? Did anyone get the title to this post?
September 5, 2008 at 10:27 pm
@bangieb: TWINS. of the thompson variety.
September 5, 2008 at 10:42 pm
I was wondering! Congratulations! You win one nearly bald, nearly toothless, wonky pup! Please come claim your prize.
September 5, 2008 at 11:21 pm
BAngB you are a saint!! As for the cuntbitchwhore’s punishment…it should entail protracted suffering and neglect. No quick, easy outs for this cunt. I remain steadfast in my belief that a special place exists in the bowels of hell for people of this ilk.
As for names:
1. Blush and Bashful (luv it!!)
2. Princess and Buttercup
3. Pooh and Tigger (depends on their personalities)
4. Memphis and Belle
5. Depending on personalities a combination of any of the following: M’Lynn, Ouiser, Clairee, Truvy, Shelby or Annelle
Let us know the final selection and give those fur babies a hug and a treat for me!
September 6, 2008 at 12:21 am
Am I the only one who thought Elizabeth and Jessica (a la Sweet Valley)???
I think it’s wonderful what you’re doing! As for the former “mother”? Since I just finally finished watching Carnivale (thanks, Netflix!), I’ve realized how horrific and appropriate tarring and feathering can be under the *right* circumstances. And what you’ve described definitely qualifies.
Except for one of our goldfish (bought to be a companion for the other), all of our myriad critters – kitties, ferrets, fishes, bird – are adoptees that found their way to us. I can’t see taking in animals any other way. The universe sends me the ones I need and who need me.
Oh, and I got/*swooned* over the title – they all get to stay with meeeeeee (and let loving start)!
September 6, 2008 at 10:42 pm
BAngie: I think I got the second part. Are you in a turrible fix? Do you always say “come on let’s go” when you just oughta say “nix”?
Or am I just a theater nerd?
September 6, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Dear PJ aka theater nerd:
I totally get where you are going! In was inadvertent.
September 7, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Barbie and Skipper
Zsa Zsa and Eva