I went out to lunch with someone yesterday who was outrageously rude to our waitress. Barking orders at her, sneering at her, ordering things back because he changed his mind about them, yada yada yada.
And I realized being rude to waiters and waitresses, taxi drivers, sales clerks, etc., might be one of the most unappealing characteristics to be possessed by a person, right up there with cheapness. I feel it is revelatory of a person’s true character, and for that reason, I would never have lunch with this person again, even though he was just a business asscociate. It was appalling, and I found myself hoping the waitress spit in his food.
My ex was always rude to waiters, and it used to drive me crazy, and we all know what a nice guy he turned out to be (maybe not … never mind). Tell BCP about your own stories of spending time with people who are “rude to the help.”
ButtercupPunch - "La clique, c’est chic!" 
October 21, 2008 at 12:20 pm
I fucking hate people that are rude to “help.” Newsflash: they are working and are NOT your slaves. No one is your motherfucking slave.
As a longtime waitress, I had some doozies. The worst for me were the families that would order about a dozen meals and then tip me next to nothing. But nothing is worse than RUDENESS. What is wrong with people? I think it’s the sign of a true asshole. If you are mean to waitstaff (for no reason) then you are an asshole. It’s a simple equation really.
October 21, 2008 at 12:48 pm
i would NOT mess around with people who are doing me a favor – because that’s basically what they’re doing you. yeah, you’re paying them, and yeah it’s their job, but without them, you’d be trying to make sense of recipes at home and getting your own damn refills.
plus, did you ever see the movie, waiting ?
you wanna bitch? then you’re getting a loogie or other bodily fluids. you bark at the taxi driver, you end up like that couple from the bone collector.
do.not.mess!
October 21, 2008 at 12:48 pm
My very favourite rude customer is the one who actually reduced me to tears. I’d just started working at the sliced meat counter in a locak department store/supermarket, and was still learning the ropes. Apparently this lady was in a hurry, and telling me stuff like “make it snappy, stupid”. I was a shy 15-year old so I smiled like a farmer with a tooth ache (as we say) and put her change on the counter instead of in her hand. She then called me a rude bitch, threw the change at my head and then demanded it back. I fled into the walk-in fridge while my co-workers gave her an earful.
Thankfully I’ve not had a lot of experience with rude friends. Well, except for that bitch Charlotte who said people work in the service industry because they’re lazy and topped it off with a statement about Africa having troubles because “it’s run by blacks”. Yeah. That was the end of that ‘friendship’.
October 21, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Honestly, I believe there are people who think they are some kind of superior species to those in the service industry. It’s shameful.
I’ve been a waitress several times, a hotel housekeeper, and a desk clerk. And I’ve been called fatty, idiot, bitch, etc. I have some desk clerk stories that would make you weep uncontrollably.
I don’t really feel like spreading the horribleness that was those people, so I’ll share a nice story instead.
When I had just graduated from high school, I was working at this little diner. And one night, for some idiot reason, they put me on by myself to cover the entire restaurant. Granted, it was tiny, but still… At about 7, the entire place was completely full. I had people standing in the doorway trying to find tables, but the busboy was dicking off somewhere, and I couldn’t find him. And then this group of bikers came in, and they started busing tables for me. And then they gave me a huge tip. Awesome.
October 21, 2008 at 1:01 pm
@haguenite: HAHAHAHA. “people work in the service industry because they’re lazy.” That’s RICH. I’d love for that woman to try just one double shift — hell, one shift — as a waitress, especially at the three-story bar with the kitchen in the basement where my bff worked, and then call people in the service industry “lazy.” Stupid cow.
My sister, who is a bartender, firmly believes in “tip karma.” I think niceness karma also applies.
October 21, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Being rude and/or condescending to the wait staff or housekeeping/ or taxi drivers is really a sign that you are an asshole. DO these people think they are above the people serving them because they are eating out? Having worked as a waitress and bartender I’ve had my fair share of rudeness dealt to me, which is why I always go out of my way to be a good customer when I’m out places.
Oh but the worst: My husband and I were out with a friend at a fancy restaurant once where we got treated like such scumbags by the waiter. I ordered a bottle of Chianti that was $49 and he said to me “Are you sure you don;t want the merlot- it’s only $24?” I was like Wait, what? The busy boy even apologized to us for his asshole-ish behavior so we gave the busy boy the tip!
October 21, 2008 at 1:27 pm
I just cringe when I’m stuck in the company of folks that are rude and uncouth to others, that’s simply no excuse for a lack of manners.
October 21, 2008 at 1:30 pm
Oh and also, I was waiting tables once and this douche actually SNAPPED at me to get my attention. My boss, in so many words, told him he was a rude asshole.
October 21, 2008 at 1:36 pm
@MsDirector: I know, right? Apparently, “they’re not making use of their full potential. They could get a degree, but they don’t want to, so they’re lazy.”
Never mind that A. plenty of people who work in the service industry do so to pay for school B. plenty of people are happy working in the service industry rather than towards a degree, thank you very much and C. WHATEVER.
She’s also said that if you don’t want to, or can’t, get a degree, then you’re stupid and you deserve bad stuff to happen to you.
I can lean towards intellectual snobbery at times, but this girl was just too much, as in waaaay too much.
@Beth: YAY BIKERS!
October 21, 2008 at 1:38 pm
OMG! Trixie you sound like you were having lunch with one of my friends. The girl expects to be treated like a queen but does not believe in tipping. She has champagne & caviar expectations and Zima & nachos attitude.
On the flip side, I used to work at a bank in a wealthy part of Virginia, talk about hell. People would snap their fingers at us, complain about the quality of coffee and doughnuts that the bank served, toss money at us over the counter,… some mofo had the audacity to deposit a shoebox full of rolled change and told me to be grateful that he frequented out bank.
I wish that I could shake the hell out of some people!! grrr……
October 21, 2008 at 2:02 pm
also, I meant ‘bus boy’ not busy boy
October 21, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Ugh. This is one of my biggest pet peeves, and one of the reasons I get so mad at my dad. (I swear all my pet peeves relate to shit my dad does. Issues: I haz them!) I think everyone should have to work in the service industry at some point so they learn how hard it is and learn a little empathy.
October 21, 2008 at 2:27 pm
@Beth: Those bikers are awesome!
October 21, 2008 at 2:44 pm
@cate3710: My dad isn’t an asshole, per say, but sometimes he makes me cringe because he’ll “joke” with the server like “Oh I was getting worried about you!” or stuff that makes him come off not-so-good. He used to be a bad tipper, but has gotten considerably better. Now he’ll always look at the bill and say, “What do you think? Was she/he good?” And I’ll usually play up their attributes unless they basically spat in our faces.
October 21, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I once had a man yell, in all seriousness, “YOU RUINED CHRISTMAS!” at me when I was waiting on his table- because we were temporarily out of popovers. You want that fucking free popover so goddamn bad, you go home and make it yourself and then tell me why it takes so long. Hint: because baking delicate eggy rolls TAKES A WHILE.
I also had a little boy eating w his family who picked up his sippy cup of juice, leaned back with a sigh, and rattled the empty cup in my direction to signal for a refill. Did you learn that from mommy or daddy, Baby Lush?
October 21, 2008 at 3:12 pm
Ugh, the worst. If someone is nice to you but not to the waiter, he or she is not a nice person. Period. You can tell a person’s character by how he treats someone he has power over (anyone depending on his tip, for example).
One of the things I love about my fella is that we used to work as servers at the same restaurant, so we understand waiting tables. It is hard freaking work, and I have nothing but respect for people in the service industry.
October 21, 2008 at 3:35 pm
My dad is rude to waitstaff.
I used to be a waiter.
He was rude to me when he came to “my” restaurant.
It’s not the reason why we have a shitty relationship, but it’s pretty speaks volumes.
Needless to say, I have to agree with Trixie, being rude to people who are helping you DOES say something about your character. Or at least your capacity to empathize.
October 21, 2008 at 3:40 pm
@ haguenite: Glimlachen als een boer met kiespijn?
I did that today at work!!
October 21, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Oh boy. I have a LOT of stories, having been a waitress myself throughout college, and coming from a family who works in the catering/restaurant/casino industry. And yeah, I’ve had people do shitty things to me (including one table who was so mean to me that while I was in the back fixing their drinks, TheGuvnah, who had seen how they treated me, dipped her dirty hands into them, and then I served them — and another table that was so snappy to me that I snapped back and pretty much guilted them into behaving), but the worst treatment I ever saw was when I was out with a “friend.”
This young woman has an attitude problem to begin with, and had just come back into town from a short trip out, and was in a bad mood from the second I saw her. From the moment we sat down to lunch, she treated our waiter like crap, at one point actually complaining to the manager about him, and then at another point telling him to his face that she was going to be withholding tip money from him. Keep in mind, it was a busy Sunday morning brunch/lunch crowd, but the waiter was actually doing ok.
I was so, so embarrassed to be with her but unsure how to handle it (this was a few years ago), but as she was complaining to everyone who would listen I definitely tried to stick up for him.
We lived just a few blocks from the restaurant but in opposite directions, and as soon as I said goodbye to her, I was still so humiliated and felt so bad for the waiter than I turned around and went back inside the restaurant, found him, apologized, and handed him some more money.
That was the beginning of the end of the friendship for us, and I haven’t spoken to her in years, but all this is to say that YES, if someone treats their server like shit, they are a bad person. Full stop.
October 21, 2008 at 3:48 pm
I was working in a book shop and this woman came in needing a return. she made it clear she was in a hurry. (She had parked in the three minute unloading zone -not my fault.) It was also Christmas time so things are a wee bit hectic to say the least. certain people handled returns. I called that person and they said, “I am with someone at the minute, give me… three minutes. Four minutes tops.”
Okay then. I relay this information to the woman that the person who handles this will be here in just a few minutes and could she wait.
After thirty seconds of waiting, she said, “where is she?” I told her what I had been told and she began to stomp about.
She then began to say, “I think you are lying to me.” She threw her books in my general direction and said, “Young lady I do not like liars and you are one. You are the worst sort of person. A horrible liar. I am in a hurry. My car could be ticketed. I am never shopping here again.”
Well she left her books, didn’t get that return and pointed at me as she left telling people, “That girl is awful at her job.”
Everyone in the place began to laugh.
October 21, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Deal-breaker!
October 21, 2008 at 4:00 pm
@margo: Indeed! Whenever I see Dutch when I’m not expecting it I always think “what odd language is that? Oh right! My mother tongue…”
October 21, 2008 at 4:09 pm
This is so relevant right now: I just got back from a week long business trip with a co-worker who, while not as bad as your guy sounds, is grossly condescending and just loud in general, and to be associated with her when we are out in public always makes me cringe.
We were doing an early check out from our hotel Saturday night and there was some miscommunication about a few mini bar charges, which were erroneously placed on our personal credit cards instead of the company’s. Now we’re talking like 8 Euros apiece here for some waters/sodas, definitely nothing budget crippling, and we were all well aware that the company would reimburse us later anyway. Said coworker gave so much attitude and acted so put out by the oversight to the poor girl at the counter (new, to boot) that you would have thought they maxed out her card. The kicker? We had all just witnessed this girl spend over 300 dollars on designer boots two hours ago–all of a sudden girlfriend is balking at 8 Euros?
Bish Pleaze.
Since the matter wasn’t resolved that night and I knew I was leaving the hotel earlier than her the next morning, I thought it my civic duty to warn the people at the desk that she would be making a fuss later and pointedly rolled my eyes in solidarity to show I think she’s a total brat. Don’t know if it accomplished anything, but it made me feel better. Rude people suck!
October 21, 2008 at 5:54 pm
I was with a toolshed who wrote “don’t eat yellow snow” on the credit card slip in the “tip” section. We don’t neccessarily work for tips were I live but that still was a douchey thing to do. Funny but not cool. He did leave some cash after I guilted him into it though – yay guilt!
October 21, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Oh, I just thought of this-you know what I find baffling? Figuring out the proper etiquette for those bathroom helper people, who pump your soap and hand you paper towels. I’ve only been in a place that nice once or twice, and I always feel so damn awkward. I just thank the people as nicely as possible and then feel like a horrible person. I am not used to that sort of thing, so perhaps I should start carrying a couple dollars around in my pocket if I think I might run into this? Once it was at Planet Hollywood or Hard Rock Cafe or someplace like that on a school trip, and I felt like the biggest country bumpkin.
Still, I wasn’t rude. But oh gosh, can you imagine the rude assholes in bathrooms? They have so many more icky weapons at their disposal.
October 21, 2008 at 10:16 pm
@lalaland: When that happens to me, I just pretend I don’t know I’m supposed to tip…unless they give me really amazing service. One time I was at this drag queen bar, and I went downstairs to the toilet and the bathroom attendant was this old drag queen. And she was like, “What’s on your mind? You look sad.” So I told her that I was in the middle of this horrible break-up relationship thingy and generally hated myself. And she was really nice and listened and told me that everything would be okay. She was my fairy godmother, I think.
October 21, 2008 at 10:16 pm
@myself: Uh, the point of that story was that I did tip her.
October 22, 2008 at 12:34 am
my mom use to be a little bitchy to waitresses who didnt give her fresh coffee. She was firm but not condesending to them. After I showed her the movie Waiting- she changed her mind quick. Haha.
October 22, 2008 at 4:05 am
@ Amoureuse
How can she “not believe” in tipping?
Ugh, everyone should have to wait tables once in their lives. Once they realized how difficult a job it is and got their fair share of being treated like crap, I doubt they’d act that way towards wait staff again.
And seriously, don’t mess with people who handle your food. Common sense. Also, I’ve had a couple of outrageously rude, shitty tables who happened to pay with a credit card and I looked up their numbers in the phone book later and added them to my drunken crank call list.
October 22, 2008 at 6:27 am
When you are cheap, I want to smack you, but when you’re rude to waitstaff or hotel staff or whatever, I will fucking LET YOU KNOW. And bad, too.
My one friend in college thought because he spoke in a calming voice he could say whatever the fuck he wanted to the girls down at the 24 hour diner. He was so fucking condescending, and one night I had enough of it and just lost it.
I worked at a restaurant where the owner was a total shithead, and was rude to the waitresses and especially to the crippled cook (he had a bum left foot) and at the age of 17 is when I honed my skills as a grade-A teller-offer. Any time he was mean to Andre, the cook, I would lose it. Any time he tried to get me to stay past 10 on a school night, I would tell him to choke. And I was allowed to keep my job because I was good, and because he knew no one else would work for his stupid ass. Until one day he started screaming at me because his wife was upset I ACCIDENTALLY hung up on her (I was trying to transfer the call and fucking hit the wrong button) and he accused me of, “Purposely doing this so she would yell at me, what are you fucking stupid?” to which I replied, “Hey, you stupid fat fuck, you’re not my father, no one talks to me that way. Give me my fucking money, I’m getting the fuck out of here.” He refused at first, but I just followed him around the restaurant with my hand sticking out, until he finally gave it to me, and I NEVER WENT BACK.
Wow, that felt good to rant about. Anyway, when I’m out at a restaurant I say thank you for everything the waitstaff does, but I will admit I get easily annoyed with shitty, shitty service. Unless there is a reason, like 2 people working a 15 table room or something. If there isn’t a reason and you’re just a space cadet, get the fuck out of the restaurant business.
October 22, 2008 at 6:30 am
@nadarine: I remember that Christmas. You managed to ruin mine too.
(jkjk)
October 22, 2008 at 9:41 am
I, too have spent many a year waiting tables and bartending. I agree with whoever said that everyone should wait tables at least once – the experience just can’t be related any other way. My parents were the worst tippers, my mother especially who thinks $5 is more than enough no matter if the bill is $30 or $300. When my parents would come in to the restaurant where I was working, I would basically guilt them in paying attention to all the sidework a server has along with their tables. My dad is now marginally better and will usually tip 10-15%, at least when dining with me. My mother never pays anyway, but she still makes a face when I leave 20% (or more) followed by shitty comments like, “Ohhh! Must be nice to have lots of money!”
Shut up, mom.
October 22, 2008 at 10:44 am
Meaghan – that’s HILARIOUS.
I also want to add, while restaurants can be shitty places to work, there’s also TONS of fun to be had too. I loved being a server. I got to talk to people, run around, laugh as fellow servers untied my apron as they walked passed me, etc. We would stay late after the bar closed and drink for free. And you realllly learn how to manage your time.
I certainly still get incompetent servers sometimes when I’m out, but I still tip them. Think of it this way: if I messed up something at work, would my pay get docked? Nope. So I don’t dock their’s.
And I also agree that everyone should be required to work in the service industry for one year. No matter what, just to see what it’s like to have to deal with people.
October 22, 2008 at 1:07 pm
@Manders: If she orders pizza and the total is like $13.99. She will give $14.00. I have know her for 10+ years and the highest tip that she has ever left was $2.00
October 22, 2008 at 3:52 pm
WOW! Forgive the bad grammar and typos. I was trying to slurp down pasta and type at the same time– hangs head in shame.
October 22, 2008 at 7:43 pm
Picture it, summer 1999. Waitressing at a mom-n-pop seafood BYOB place on LBI, NJ. Good, fresh seafood, notoriously slow kitchen. Two families walk in together, a party of maybe 9 total, kids, highchairs, the whole nine. they brought buckets of beer. The two men order the biggest lobsters we had and I of course warned them they would take extra time. They order them anyway and lo and behold, start bitching to me twenty minutes later when they arent out yet. I serve the kids, keep bringing bread, etc.
They finally get their food, throw cash on the table and leave. NO TIP. My hostess goes running after them and yells “you didn’t tip your waitress!!” and drunk dad (nice to drive your kids after drinking 10 beers, btw) yells back that since he couldn’t punish the kitchen for being slow he had to take it out on me. fucker.
my other favorite story from this particular place is that we had really delicious homemade bread. I had small table and apologized that the bread would be a few minutes. It was, and they kept asking me and clearly didn’t believe me when I said it was in the oven and would be right out. I brought it and in front of me some asshole grabs it and throws it in his mouth and screams because it burnt his tongue. haha. Asshole believed me now.
Like, why would I lie about the goddam bread??
Sorry this has devolved into waitressing stories in general, not just bad tippers!
October 22, 2008 at 8:47 pm
Ugh, total deal breaker. People like that shouldn’t be allowed out in public. Y’know how Israel makes everyone serve in the military? I think Americans should all have to spend 6 months as waitstaff/cashiers just so they gain a little empathy.
If you have an hour or 12 to waste, go read http://www.notalwaysright.com. It makes so infinitely glad I don’t work retail anymore.
October 22, 2008 at 9:48 pm
My ex usually put on a good show = polite, charming…one day we went grocery shopping and something in his two bags of groceries had rung up incorrectly (he checks the receipts each time before leaving the store). Anyway – he got all pissy and demanded that the cashier unpack all of his groceries and ring everything up again.
I should have left him then, but unfortunately waited three more years.
Trixie – you are totally right about this behavior showing someones true character.
October 22, 2008 at 9:57 pm
i cannot stand bad tippers! i tip well just because of the mere fact that i could never wait on people, except the skinny one.
one night we were having dinner at a tapas restaurant, it was a weeknight at it was mostly empty. we were sitting outside with one other couple nearby. anyway, the lady at the other table was being a total nightmare. She ordered sangria (a whole carafe) then wanted to send it back because it had peaches even though her date already drank a glass. ZOMG THERE IS FRUIT IN SANGRIA?? YA THINK?? She sent it back, then the waitress brought her another drink, she took two sips and then also rejected!! There was much arguing about what did and did not on the final bill.
when she finally left, I ask the waitress, “Is it me, or was that lady a total cunt?” She laughed and was relieved she wasn’t the only one who saw that. We gave her a 40% tip to make up for the other table’s douchebaggery.
October 23, 2008 at 12:42 am
First and foremost: TIC-TAC DEAN!
@Bethville: I swear to God, bikers can be the best motherfucking men in the world.
@Kadinsky: ZOMG, I love it when I get shamed for tipping well and/or not treating people who just waited on me like shit! Isn’t it F-U-N?!
@M: That was a doozy! I was nervous for you when you said “cunt,” but she thought it was hilarious AND she didn’t laugh at me when I wanted more chicken-heaven-on-a-chip things.
We told this story in Memphis, but how about the assholes who show up at group dinners with friends/family (for birthdays or graduations or whatnot) and are TOTAL CHEAPSKATES?! As in they leave a less than 5% tip, to say nothing about even chipping in for the guest of honor?!?!! Tacky. Sosososososo tacky.
October 23, 2008 at 5:27 am
My brother was working as a bartender during a brunch shift, and a guy on a date ordered a Bloody Mary. And sent it back, and sent the next one back and so on and so on (obviously trying to impress the date). My bro made up a tray with tomato juice, vodka, ice, a shaker, salt, pepper, Tabasco, Perrins,horseradish, lemons and limes, celery..etc…and sent it over with the waitress, with the message: “Sir, the drinks are on the house. But.Make.Them.Yourself.”