“Airline pickpocket strikes as passengers sleep.”
See, this is why I don’t trust people, they’re shifty motherfuckers just waiting to steal your shit. Every now and then you come across a person who actually displays some goodwill and helps you out but for the most part people are too fucking selfish and worried about their own ass to bother helping out a fellow man. And why are we so pre-occupied with our own shit? Because of shit like this! I mean, come on, on a fucking airplane?! At 30,000 feet you still have to worry about getting jacked?!
The people who know me think I’m crazy for the way I never let my stuff out of my sight, but this is exactly why. The two times I’ve been ripped off were both because I was stupid and/or careless with my stuff; the first time I stupidly left a brand new Louis Vuitton bag (with wallet, damnit) in the car because I didn’t want it to reek of tobacco choke in the bar and the second time was because my boyfriend and I had chugged a handful of e and I told him to stay in the car while I went to get punch-balloons and razor blades but he got out and wandered around looking for me and left the window down and my bag on the seat. And so I paid the price, fraudulent charges and identity theft not to mention losing fabulous bags and good makeup/numbers/bottle openers/etc.
Now? I eye everybody like they’re the Boogeyman, I don’t trust none of you John Q. Public’s to do me a solid. Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean I’m not sociable and pleasant with people, because I am. I spend my whole life smiling at people I will never trust.
ButtercupPunch - "La clique, c’est chic!" 
January 7, 2010 at 11:16 pm
SEE?! The superstitions hammered into me about big cities and strangers and airports and ALLA THAT growing up in the South are confirmed. Hands on your shit at all times. But always a pleasant smile! Kadinsk, this is what they teach us growing up down here! Don’t trust that hospitable Southerner stuff; they’re always smiling while suspecting you.
January 8, 2010 at 1:05 am
This happened to me! Ok, not exactly this, but basically! I was sitting in bulkhead, so the flight attendant stowed my bag for take off in an area in front of me but behind some other seats and out of my view (if that makes sense). About an hour into the flight she gets it for me, and I open it to discover that my ipod, phone, wallet, and sunglasses were missing. I start flipping the fuck out, and the flight attendants start looking around the area where my bag was, in case, you know, all of the expensive things in it happened to fall out, but none of the cheapo ones. Soon enough things started to “turn up” under the seats of the obnoxious 16 year old boys sitting in front of where my bag was. They got hauled off the plane by the police as soon as we landed, to the cheers of my fellow passengers, who had watched the whole thing go down. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to press changes because the FBI would have been involved since it was on an airplane, and I had another flight to catch. But! Getting marched off the plane in cuffs in front of their family and the rest of the passengers hopefully taught them some sort of lesson. It taught me to never let my shit out of my sight, even in small enclosed spaces where evildoers will inevitably be caught…because they really are that stupid.
January 8, 2010 at 11:33 am
that is some bullshit. I’m glad you got your stuff back.
January 9, 2010 at 1:12 pm
“I spend my whole life smiling at people I will never trust.” You are PRICELESS!!!
January 12, 2010 at 2:19 am
I love you. While this shit can be heart-warming: “Every now and then you come across a person who actually displays some goodwill and helps you out but for the most part people are too fucking selfish and worried about their own ass to bother helping out a fellow man.” It is what it is. TRUE. People are shit.