So BAngieB is coming to my house in Silver Spring, MD, for a sleepover in a couple of weeks. I offered to make my beloved spaghetti and meatballs, based on a recipe an old Sicilian grandmother gave me. Angie replied that she didn’t like spaghetti.
Our exchange:
how about roast beef?
Works for me, as long as it isn’t rare – I’m not currently being veggie, but I am weird about red meat.
Will there be mashed potatoes? Do you hosers know how to make those?
Oh for fuck’s sake. Yes we make mashed potatoes, you Canadian-ist! And gravy!
How about a roast chicken??
Roast chicken…SOLD.
Green beans?
roast chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes, gravy, perhaps a pie. how’s that?
Yummy. I would ask for apple pie, but that would be WRONGFUL as you are a foreigner.
Chocolate pie?
Canada gave the world the McIntosh apple, the best pie apple on the planet, so piss off. Apple pie is very big north of the border.
Okay, then. Apple pie! I love apple pie.
ButtercupPunch - "La clique, c’est chic!" 
August 28, 2008 at 12:25 pm
You never told me it was a “beloved spaghetti and meatballs, based on a recipe an old Sicilian grandmother gave me”.
August 28, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Trixie, you are as Canadian as apple pie.
August 28, 2008 at 12:29 pm
*cough*– I live in Silver Spring, Maryland too.
August 28, 2008 at 12:32 pm
We should hit the bars!
August 28, 2008 at 12:34 pm
My last response to the apple comment was:
“You are the dumbass who gave up free healthcare to move to this BushShitHole.”
August 28, 2008 at 12:34 pm
GET OUT OF HERE AMOUREUSE!
I had the best jerk chicken sandwich I have ever had at a little Jamaican place in downtown Silver Spring. I LOVE Silver Spring!
We must get together once I get all settled in.
E-mail me: trixiefromtoronto@gmail.com
August 28, 2008 at 12:35 pm
BAngie: I didn’t want to offend the Americans. Something that clearly doesn’t keep you up at night!
August 28, 2008 at 12:37 pm
BangieB, Make sure you show Trixie where the ER is. It’s never too early to get to know your primary care physician!
August 28, 2008 at 12:38 pm
@BangieB: define “free” …
i can’t believe you’re cooking all this food for one meal, sounds so time consuming. I would probably give up after a couple hours and just take her to Boston Market instead.
August 28, 2008 at 12:43 pm
M: I like to cook. And there’s very little that’s easier than a roast chicken.
The pie might take some time — I’ll make it the night before.
BAngieB is worth it!
August 28, 2008 at 12:55 pm
If the apple pie comes out wrong you can always blame those crappy American apples.
I love that Americans have claimed apple pie as their very own. I mean, I’m not up to speed about the history of apple pie, but I have this feeling that it must have existed before the Puritans left Leiden.
August 28, 2008 at 12:56 pm
But the question is – will there be vanilla ice cream on the pie? yummmmmmmmmmm! Foodgasm!
August 28, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Sounds like Trixie has gotten over her portion control issues.
IMHO, Granny Smith’s make the best pie. Trixie, are you a top crust or a crumb crust person?
August 28, 2008 at 1:05 pm
she gets on me a lot for not liking fried chicken and BBQ. fuckin sue me! but i’m not a fan of spaghetti either. sauce, though, or “gravy” as my dad refers to it, i will drink that shit for breakfast, lunch and dinner. mmmmm.
August 28, 2008 at 1:06 pm
When in doubt, wikipedia. Seems the English started it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_pie
August 28, 2008 at 1:10 pm
BangieB the invite applies to you too, don’t even think about ditching me. We are meeting up for drinks.
Trixie: mmm you were probably at Negril. STAY FAR FAR WAY from the Ethiopian joint.
p.s.Don’t worry ladies. I am not the stalker type who tries to invite herself to people’s homes and get togethers. I tend to be on the receiving end of that kind of crap. Bitterly shakes head.
August 28, 2008 at 1:11 pm
Coopergirl: I like either. Sometimes I just love the simplicity of a good old-fashioned two-crust pie. Other times, I like the brown sugary crumble top. I’ll defer to what Angie wants.
And I agree that Granny Smiths are also an excellent pie apple. Especially the ones grown in British Columbia! And Northern Spys are also good. But for me, nothing beats the McIntosh for eating or baking. It is a perfect apple, not to mention a very pretty apple with its streaks of pale pink in its flesh.
And yes, pie is as old as the hills, Yanks!
August 28, 2008 at 1:16 pm
@trixiefromtoronto: and the mash potatoes and gravy? I made mashed potatoes ONCE. it took forever and seriously hampered my online poker gaming.
August 28, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Any of those dishes sound good to me. Now I’m hungry.
Trixie I know how you feel about Crisco but…are you using Crisco in that crust? or do you do all butter crusts?
I like a hunk of sharp cheddar with my apple pie, ice cream works for me too. I really like an heirloom apple for pie, like a Gravenstein when in season. Pippins when in season are great too. Apples need to be firm, tart and complex. Also I like a top crust. Just FYI ya know.
August 28, 2008 at 1:20 pm
I just clicked on that Wikipedia link and OMG who can edit that page for me?! Goudreinet in Dutch apple pie? Goddamn blasphemy. Like my mother always said, there’s nothing good about goudreinetten! Elstar or Jonagold, please.
The Middle English period recipe reminds me of my philology class. ME is now my bitch, but I’ll start studying Old English in two weeks and I’m SCARED!
August 28, 2008 at 1:30 pm
@Trix – the apple pie recipe from Chownings Tavern at Williamsburg is heavenly!
August 28, 2008 at 1:32 pm
@AYL: Who wants to eat fried chicken? The best part is the crispy fried bit, right? But it slides off the chicken in a seriously gross way when you try to take a bite. I do not understand the fried chicken love.
August 28, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Pickles: Pastry is a mix of lard and butter.
August 28, 2008 at 1:53 pm
TheDomina:
Bless your heart, you have clearly never had good fried chicken. My momma’s fried chicken doesn’t slide off the meat. But sometimes we pull it off and make a sandwich with it (using white bread of course).
And AYL has only had KFC, so she doesn’t know anything about it. AND she’s never had good Memphis barbeque. I guess I’m not taking very good care of her.
August 28, 2008 at 2:00 pm
You two, making me laugh, per usual. Carry on!
August 28, 2008 at 2:01 pm
@ AYL – Bless your heart that you haven’t had good fried chicken! I make some that is soaked in buttermilk (best if you use boneless thighs) and then lightly fried – so good it will make you slap somebody!
And don’t get me started on pimento cheese . . .
August 28, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Trixie are you telling me you use actual LARD in your crust as your fat?
August 28, 2008 at 2:05 pm
@bangieb: i never said that! that’s not the ONLY kind i’ve had.
August 28, 2008 at 2:11 pm
MsScarlet: I had some delicious pimento cheese for lunch on Monday…just a hint of hot sauce. AND, you know what is really good? After you put your pimento cheese on the cracker, top that bad boy with a jalepeno slice. MMMMMM.
August 28, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Angie will you make me some fried chicken?
Why did you not take that girl out for BBQ? Both dry and wet…the BBQ not the girl.
August 28, 2008 at 2:15 pm
If I was getting executed tomorrow, fried chicken would be my last meal.
August 28, 2008 at 2:16 pm
@BAngieB – as MBB can attest, our grandmother made the BEST pimento cheese – and it always included a few shots of Tabasco. Thank goodness we have the recipe (although it was much better when she made it) – nothing like it in the world!
Have never considered the slice of jalapeno – must try that!
August 28, 2008 at 2:22 pm
picklesinmytuna: wet BBQ? i’m suddenly interested.
August 28, 2008 at 2:23 pm
Pickles, she wouldn’t go. She was all “I don’t like fried chicken” and I was all “but this is GOOOOOD fried chicken” and she was all “noooo.” Repeat for the bbq. I just gave up and took her to Huey’s.
August 28, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Ya’ll are talking about my favorite thing on earth. FOOD.
August 28, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Yes, MsScarlet, Granny made the best pimento cheese ever. And I think the only wicked thing she ever did in her whole life was lie to me about the recipe. Because that recipe does NOT produce the pimento cheese that was always waiting on us at Granny and Hey Buddy’s house on a Saturday afternoon. Pimento cheese on the table, Coke in the fridge, John Ward calling the Vols on the radio, and all the other ball games on the teevees (stacked on top of each other, of course).
Speaking of which, who’s ready for some MOTHERFUCKING SEC FOOTBALL TONIGHT, BITCHES?
August 28, 2008 at 2:31 pm
Good fried chicken has to soak in a brine for at least 4 hours and dipped in buttermilk and some hot sauce. Oh yes. It is good.
August 28, 2008 at 2:33 pm
@bangieb: get over here, i’m going to kick your ass! that is not how it went down!
August 28, 2008 at 2:39 pm
@MBB – HELL YEAH SEC ‘BALL!
and since I’m seeing mom & dad this weekend for Buddy’s birthday, mom’s making me a big tub of pimento cheese! I may not leave the house!
August 28, 2008 at 2:42 pm
for the californian, please, what is this pimento cheese of which you speak?
August 28, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I could nibble on Buddy and pimento cheese all weekend. And with the return of football, who needs to leave the house anyway?
August 28, 2008 at 2:46 pm
@spicytamale: brine is the way to go, fer shure. I recently introduced Mr.K to this method of prepping meats, he still thinks it only takes 20mins though.
August 28, 2008 at 2:50 pm
@Kadinsky: My hubby is the same way.
I love apple pie but havent made one in years. Now peach cobbler- well that’s one of my specialties.
August 28, 2008 at 2:55 pm
coopergirl:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6877304
August 28, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Look Angie and her young lover I don’t know what the hell was going on over there but Angie you should have dragged her screaming. Young Lover, don’t you know the food is the best part about Memphis? I could just slap you both. For the record I can go either way, I like my Memphis BBQ both wet and dry. Ya know Angie could send you some wet from Corkys, they will overnight it… http://www.corkysbbq.com/store/combination_N.htm
@spicytamale Well you’re living in the right place for peach cobbler. I have a peach tree, please send me your recipe for this.
August 28, 2008 at 3:11 pm
@coopergirl – basic recipe is sharp cheddar cheese (grated – and not velveeta), mayo, salt, pepper, pimentos (drain the juice off and mash), possibly a dash of hot sauce, and some add a little worcesteshire (but I don’t use this if I use salt)
it all gets mixed up either by hand or in a food processor – then spread it on crackers, make a sandwich, put it on celery sticks – the possibilities are endless! or just stand in the kitchen watching football and eating it straight out of the bowl! HEAVEN!!!
I’ll post a better recipe later when I get home – or just come to DC and I’ll make some for everybody!
August 28, 2008 at 3:17 pm
Wow now I’m super hungry for pimento cheese, which I have never heard of until today! I will have to consult with some of my southern friends here to make it.
Also, my husband and I got stuck in Memphis for 24 hours once and I was so happy to have eaten BBQ while I was there.
August 28, 2008 at 3:31 pm
Thanks to modern technology, here is the recipe as I have it:
Pimento Cheese
1 lb rat trap cheese (can substitute cheddar, sharp or medium, mild is too bland)
4 oz pimento (comes in a little jar)
1/2 cup mayonnaise (Kraft Real Mayo, not light or fat free – and don’t you dare use Miracle Whip b/c it’s NOT mayonnaise)
1 Tbsp worchestershire
dash salt and pepper
dash of Tabasco for the brave at heart!
Instructions:
Grate cheese
Smush pimento (dump onto a kitchen plate and smush w/ a fork)
Mix all ingredients (can do this in a bowl, or in a food processor if you want it really smooth)
Add more mayo for smoothness, if needed
ENJOY!
August 28, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Hand to God, I understand like 5% of this. You foodies! FOODIES!
@M: Baby, those were some good mashed potatoes. You did a good job!
August 28, 2008 at 3:34 pm
@pickles: bangieb was the best part of memphis. and, as the guest, she should have made me gone. i take no blame for this. i didn’t know any better. i’m from jersey for christ’s sake. i didn’t know…!
August 28, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Is it lame that I got really excited that BAngieB used the term “hoser”? I fear that when I move to AZ (from WI) and say it all I will get is blank stares.
August 28, 2008 at 3:39 pm
MsScarlet, The version Granny gave me includes a dash of onion juice (I get this from a jar of cocktail onions). I also use a stick of Cracker Barrel sharp cheddar, for those of you unfamiliar with rat trap cheese.
Hit’ll et, y’all.
August 28, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Trixie, roast chicken and mashed potatoes are what await us in heaven.
Next issue: Meat Loaf. Mushroom or onion gravy?
August 28, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Pickles: Yes to the lard. No transfats, and makes a far flakier pastry. Mixed with butter, it is also far tastier. None of that weird oily Crisco mouth feel.
August 28, 2008 at 3:49 pm
@MBB- Cracker barrell cheese is it. its $6 bucks a thing here though.
@ Pickles- i will FB you a recipe. it is divine.
August 28, 2008 at 3:50 pm
If it wasn’t 100 frigging degrees here, I would make myself an apple pie. Instead, I will console myself with pimento cheese and wonder bread. Thanks all for the food lesson and recipies. Yum.
August 28, 2008 at 3:51 pm
@SHB: Onion is the way to go in the South. Especially when you make it with country fried steak. Heavens to Betsy it is to die for.
August 28, 2008 at 3:52 pm
@Trixie’ MBB informed you are a Crisco hater. she has employed me to make you a believer. Is it just crisco frosting or just Crisco in general.
August 28, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Trixie you know those southern gals don’t take kindly to that anti-Crisco talk. Your foreigner lard ass better watch out.
August 28, 2008 at 3:58 pm
These southern gals don’t scare me.
Tamale: The idea of Crisco frosting seriously makes me hurl. The only fat for frosting is butter. Butter butter butter.
And I really don’t use Crisco for anything now that I have discovered the superiority of lard for pastry. However, I would melt it and use it for deep frying. I have done that with fried chicken.
August 28, 2008 at 4:08 pm
@spicytamale: my secret to God’s meatloaf is to use a ton of onion, finely mince half and add it to the mix as is, then put the other half in the blender with some bread crumbs, some ketchup, few dashes Worcestershire (sic)sauce, spoonful of dijon mustard, and mush it all up. Mucha cebolla, or a fuckload of onion permeating everything. Mushroom gravy is to make you feel virtuous whilst slurping up lots of God’s mashed potatoes.
August 28, 2008 at 4:12 pm
SH: Oh my goodness, that sounds good.
August 28, 2008 at 4:14 pm
@Trxie- I agree lard is great for pastry but i gotta love my Crisco. I use the butter flavored Crisco sticks.
@SHB- your meatloaf sounds like heaven.
August 28, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Trixie you know they are going to try to charm you with their southern ways and be all friendly (that’s how they roll) and then feed you mass amounts of food items made with Crisco. And as you ohhh and awe with the delight that washes over your palate they will say things like “oh bless your heart, would you like some more?”. All the while feeling just and superior and righteous and vindicated…See how that BeachBum is already in cahoots with that Tamale.
August 28, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Tamale: With all due respect, may I suggest you substitute any recipe calling for fake-yellow-coloured, fake flavour-added Crisco with actual butter. So much better.
August 28, 2008 at 4:16 pm
The mush mix keeps the meatloaf moist, and you don’t have to add egg, which I’ve never liked in meatloaf. Oh, for flavor you can also add a bit of red or white wine, and even a dash of brandy.(hic).
August 28, 2008 at 4:16 pm
Okay, is anybody else thinking a BCP potluck is in order, because I’m pretty sure some of you southern ladies could teach us a thing or two about red velvet cake that doesn’t come from a Betty Crocker box.
August 28, 2008 at 4:18 pm
By the way: BAngieB, no one in their right mind ever turns down home-made spaghetti and meatballs. See your neurologist now.
August 28, 2008 at 4:22 pm
@trixie: I was raised in an Irish-American family to whom butter was the solution to all problems. When my mom was first getting on and was first seriously ill, I was at the house once when she was just back from the hospital and getting on her feet. I get to the house and my dad is looking in the fridge, perplexed. “There’s no butter.” “No dad, she’s been in the hospital for 10 days, you’re out of everything.” “But”, his voice trembling “we’ve NEVER run out of butter.”
It was the symbol to him of EVERYTHING going wrong. The Heartburn house with no butter!
August 28, 2008 at 4:25 pm
bleedin’ armadillo groom’s cake!!
August 28, 2008 at 4:33 pm
@coopergirl
I’m thinking that a BCP potluck would be a great idea – maybe around the time of the inauguration (unless the outcome isn’t my way and I move to London). Everyone could head to DC and leave at least 10 lbs. heavier – but lots happier!
And bless your heart!
August 28, 2008 at 4:37 pm
nothing like a good piece of ass!
August 28, 2008 at 4:41 pm
@Trixie: i use Crisco in a pinch. I generally use butter. But i like Crisco. I don’t mind it. Butter is better. The more butter the better. But hell if it isn’t damn expensive where I live.
@Pickles- i think a potluck would be divine. I am STILL asking for my momma’s tamale recipe. She isn’t hearing it.
August 28, 2008 at 4:43 pm
@Coopersgirl- i have a great red velvet recipe i dedicated to MMB on my baking blog. It’s a Paula Deen recipe. You know that shit is good.
August 28, 2008 at 4:46 pm
@spicytamale: link pls or email coopergirl5 at gmail.com. thanks!
August 28, 2008 at 5:07 pm
@Coopersgirl: http://spicytamale.wordpress.com
August 28, 2008 at 5:51 pm
Back in April I found out that you can buy brownie mix in a box. I am still fascinated by this.
August 28, 2008 at 6:24 pm
@BAngieB: you know what grosses me out? those microwaveable desserts that are all chocolate-y and caramel-y looking and then you flip over the package and see that you just ADD WATER.
no.
August 28, 2008 at 6:27 pm
@kandinsky: don’t judge. they’re like microwave easy bake oven cakes. and sometimes you just have to feed your pms whatever the hell it wants.
August 28, 2008 at 6:29 pm
whenever the hell it wants it. sometimes you don’t have 45 minutes to bake a whole cake. probably best you shouldn’t in that situation anyway.
August 28, 2008 at 8:30 pm
oh fer fucks sake, alla youse…I’m starving over here and drooling.
I have eaten Trixie’s home-cooking and it’s fantastic – roast pork? Slurp. Blueberry pie? Slurp. Spaghetti with billiard ball sized meatballs? Slurp.
I am going to go lie down and cry now. I hope you’re happy.
August 28, 2008 at 8:45 pm
SBJ – I am dying at your comment, because during this whole thread I thought “Yeah, I’m only understanding a third of this, at best.” Seriously, y’all are throwing terminology out there that I’ve never heard.
It’s impressive.
August 28, 2008 at 11:43 pm
Trixie, we must work on this deep-seated aversion you have to Crisco. This concerns me! Don’t overlook the merits of deep-dish apple pie. The Fuji apple is my latest fixation for baking – yummy!
AYL did someone turn you against BBQ with that nasty eastern NC vinegar based crap that passes for BBQ?? Listen to BAng…home made fried chicken and good BBQ are the nectar of the Gods. Plez 2 try!!
Yes Beach Bum, homemade pimento cheese is essential for SEC football season!!!
August 29, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Hey trixie I in live Hyattsville! Welcome to the neighborhood!
September 1, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Trix is one bad-ass bitch in the kitch.
Give her some peaches and flour and a hour and a half cooking time and whoa! Peach cobbler to die for.
Trix, tonight we are having the spag and meat balls you made while visiting – yes, we froze.