raincloud… Clap your hands? **clap? clap?**

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A few years ago, I probably would have regarded Seasonal Affective Disorder the same way I react to Restless Legs Syndrome: a hearty “pffffft!” and maybe an eyeroll. But that’s because I’m generally a dick with a sour disposition. But recently, my normal level of crabby curmudgeonitude has deepened into something decidedly more chronic. Beginning in the early part of Fall ’08 and rapidly gaining in intensity and scope, I pretty much spend each day lately in varying levels of moodiness and misery. Normally my snarky countenance is mostly for show, a flimsy veil to protect the cowering cuddlebunny within, but now the ire is actually very sincere. Against my better wishes, I pretty much hate everyone and everything. I fly into a rage over really dumb things like my husband singing in the shower or hugging me too hard, I scream myself hoarse at other drivers during my morning commute, and I’m reliably 15 minutes late to work every single day because the impulse to crawl back under my comforter and die rather than face my dreary existence is irresistibly strong. But I’m not depressed in the traditional sense of the word, I don’t think.

 
 It’s just that I’m stuck at my desk all day long and I never see the sun. The weather here has been absolute shit since October, all dreary and like the movie Philadelphia, only instead of 2 hours of grey misery, it’s 24-7. I’ve been stressed and busy doing wedding shit, post-wedding shit, adjusting-to-newly-weddedness shit, Holidays shit, house hunting shit, house buying shit, and now moving shit, so my workout schedule has been wiped the fuck out. I haven’t been this out of shape since before I was able to hold my head up on my own. But other than that, my life is great and there is nothing to complain about. Sure, I haven’t been formally diagnosed, but I really do feel that SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) could be the culprit.

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 I’ve always thought that listening to your body and your cravings is a really great way to be emotionally and physically healthy. Like, when I crave something (red meat, leafy greens, caffeine, chocolate), giving in always results in a strong sense of satisfaction and well-being. Well, the other day I had an overwhelming craving to just be outside while the (albeit weak) sunlight was still to be had. I got held up at work, traffic was more asinine than usual (read: instead of almost getting run over by a Colt .45 delivery truck, there were tranny hookers wielding cans of Steel Reserve popping out into the major thoroughfares like whack-a-moles), so by the time I got to the park by my house it was already dark as shit. So it was crytown. Total sobbing crytown. I decided that day not to take my SADness lying down. Some SAD therapy options for your consideration, after the jump.   (more…)