What’cha Gonna Do With All That Junk?

Brits call it “orange peel skin”, we crass Americans have been known to apply the label “cottage cheese thighs”, but whatever the name, rest assured that if you’re female, you’re likely afflicted with some degree of it. Cellulite affects nearly 85 percent of women- epidemic proportions!- and yet there is no cure. You can “lessen the appearance of” this unsigtly rippling, but never will you be free of it. How annoying is that? More vexing, perhaps, is that these stubborn fat formations inspire journos to pen pieces with headlines like “Dedimple your derriere” (/eyeroll).

So, what sort of miracle cures do SELF magazine and MSNBC suggest to smooth up your rumpcakes? And, more importantly, how skeptical am I? Find out after the jump!